# I command you: Envy my son!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 2, 2002, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-command-you-envy-my-son/112010 "2002-06-02T13:07:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-command-you-envy-my-son/112010/1 "2002-06-02T13:07:18Z")
Earlier this week, the boy got a _Spongebob Squarepants_ sheets/pillowcase/comforter set. Hey, stands to reason – He’s **Halford, the Human Eel[sup]TM[/sup]**, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-command-you-envy-my-son/112010/2 "2002-06-02T14:01:28Z")
I hear and obey, Master! (hey, can you send me a set?) ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-command-you-envy-my-son/112010/3 "2002-06-02T17:32:47Z")
I’ll take one of those too, Dave. Queen size, please. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-command-you-envy-my-son/112010/4 "2002-06-02T23:23:42Z")
Um, I don’t think they come in queen size. But if they do, I’m buying two – one for you and one for me! ---
**Author:** ![Com2Kid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@Com2Kid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Com2Kid)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-command-you-envy-my-son/112010/5 "2002-06-02T23:26:13Z")
Envy or pity? Both four letter words. . . . Scary, what ever happened to, err, SUPERHEROES? They where already wimps, now instead kids look up to halfbrained underwater sponges in a dead end career? Scary. I WANT SUPER FIGHTING SEXIST MACHO SUPERHEROS NOW! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-command-you-envy-my-son/112010/6 "2002-06-02T23:33:48Z")
> [@](#): > > now instead kids look up to halfbrained underwater sponges in a dead end career? Look up to him? Heck no! Haven’t met a kid yet that actually wants to BE Spongebob, like they do with superheroes. They just enjoy a good laugh, like adults. ---
**Author:** ![Hosayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@Hosayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hosayf)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-command-you-envy-my-son/112010/7 "2002-06-03T01:03:27Z")
Songebob is god! Your son is so lucky. If I got a set of those I would probably reserve them strictly for hotboxing… Duuuuuuuuuude Spongebob… ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-command-you-envy-my-son/112010/8 "2002-06-03T01:03:50Z")
Besides, Spongebob RAWKS! He’s fun – fun for the whole family. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-command-you-envy-my-son/112010/9 "2002-06-03T02:05:11Z")
That’s all fine and dandy… but does he have the Spongebob Squarepants UNDEROOS? ---
**Author:** ![Theobroma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@Theobroma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Theobroma)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-command-you-envy-my-son/112010/10 "2002-06-03T05:13:35Z")
My kid does!!! (BTW, Underoos went out years ago. These are Hanes, I think.) Surprised they don’t call them “Spongebob Underpants”… ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-command-you-envy-my-son/112010/11 "2002-06-03T11:55:05Z")
I’m jealous!!! ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-command-you-envy-my-son/112010/12 "2002-06-03T22:18:52Z")
Hey, **I’d** wear Spongebob underpants (if they were boxers…) ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2002, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-command-you-envy-my-son/112010/13 "2002-06-03T23:13:45Z")
They still make underoos. I buy them for my son all the time.