# I cordially invite UCLA Admissions to lick my scrotum. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 15, 2001, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cordially-invite-ucla-admissions-to-lick-my-scrotum/87539 "2001-10-15T19:11:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cordially-invite-ucla-admissions-to-lick-my-scrotum/87539/1 "2001-10-15T19:11:26Z")
Okay, here’s the deal. I applied to two colleges for winter quarter: UC Irvine, which I currently live across the street from, and UCLA, mainly because I felt I needed a backup and I was curious as to whether I would get in. PLEASE NOTE: I am NOT bitter about not being accepted to UCLA. I probably wouldn’t have gone if they had accepted me. I just got the ominous small white envelope from UCLA in my PO box today. The fifteenth of October. The very date by which the happy large white envelope from UCI informed me I had to send in my Statement of Intent to Register. This was no problem for me, having already decided to go to UCI – but what if I hadn’t? What if UCI had been my second choice and I had held out to wait for UCLA to respond? I know there are students out there in that kind of situation, who are now very likely to be late responding to whichever other colleges they choose, because UCLA didn’t bother to respond in a timely way. Look, I know they get tens of thousands of applications a year, if not each quarter. They’re one of the biggest and most well-known universities on the coast. This doesn’t mean they don’t have to treat applicants, accepted or not, with common courtesy! (Hell, my brother was accepted, and they simply didn’t bother to send him housing paperwork, so he’s currently living in a study lounge with four other guys) Happily, I was not waiting for UCLA’s response. I’m already registering with UCI. But the thought that UCLA could have screwed me over by taking their fucking time turning me down pisses me off. So, as the thread title states, I cordially invite UCLA Admissions to lick my scrotum, because they think they are above communicating with hardworking transfer students with respect and promptness. Go ahead, UCLA, lick it good! While you’re at it, lick the scrotums of all the other applicants you kept waiting while you had your feet up on your desk watching armadillo porn. Fucknuts. I feel better now. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cordially-invite-ucla-admissions-to-lick-my-scrotum/87539/2 "2001-10-15T19:21:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dragonblink \* > \*\* I probably wouldn’t have gone if they had accepted me. > \*\* that is the most sensable thing i’ve heard all day! good for you! fuckin’ bruin dickwads! “the football team is lame the campus is a shame and the student body’s vile! U…G…L…Y! U.G.L.Y EAT MY SHORT!”—UGLY fight song (i’m just mad that they will get to go to the rose bowl and we won’t!) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cordially-invite-ucla-admissions-to-lick-my-scrotum/87539/3 "2001-10-15T19:25:49Z")
What are you charging them for the meal ticket? ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cordially-invite-ucla-admissions-to-lick-my-scrotum/87539/4 "2001-10-15T19:28:52Z")
Ooh…turns out you have to have your scrotum-licking requests in by September 15. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cordially-invite-ucla-admissions-to-lick-my-scrotum/87539/5 "2001-10-15T19:30:07Z")
Berkeley did the same thing to me last spring. I wasn’t too upset, because I probably wouldn’t have gone (my first choice accepted me in February anyway) but it is still annoying. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cordially-invite-ucla-admissions-to-lick-my-scrotum/87539/6 "2001-10-15T19:35:06Z")
Can you provide our Austin dopers that don’t already have it with a link to that armadillo porn? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cordially-invite-ucla-admissions-to-lick-my-scrotum/87539/7 "2001-10-15T22:34:46Z")
And as someone who works for the UC system, I’d be happy to take you up on that at Dopetoberfest. I will, of course, supply the armadillo porn. Ask and ye shall receive - we’re here for you, the student. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cordially-invite-ucla-admissions-to-lick-my-scrotum/87539/8 "2001-10-16T02:28:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dragonblink \* > \*\* While you’re at it, lick the scrotums of all the other applicants you kept waiting while you had your feet up on your desk watching armadillo porn. \*\* Hey now! Not all those applicants have scroti. Some will require labial lappings. (Annie-ensuring gender-equity in taunts since 1989) ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cordially-invite-ucla-admissions-to-lick-my-scrotum/87539/9 "2001-10-16T03:48:35Z")
_ahem_ It’s worth noting that, in a literal sense, this particular applicant is not possessed of a scrotum either. It is the thought – and the saliva – that counts. (You should see the looks I get when I exclaim “I’m freezing my nuts off!”) However, Esprix, I’m honored by your kind offer and shall either find myself a scrotum for your talented licking pleasure, or invite you to hunt for mine yourself. I do look cute in drag and all … (cite: [http://home.collegeclub.com/Dragonblink/whoami.html](http://home.collegeclub.com/Dragonblink/whoami.html) Note the picture on the right) ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cordially-invite-ucla-admissions-to-lick-my-scrotum/87539/10 "2001-10-17T05:53:01Z")
AwwwRIGHT! Killed my own thread! Sweet! Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I promise to use my powers for good. And coffee. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cordially-invite-ucla-admissions-to-lick-my-scrotum/87539/11 "2001-10-17T15:11:12Z")
October 15 as a respond date? Are you registering for Spring quarter or something? Is this an “early decision” application thing? Is this really for next fall enrollment? ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cordially-invite-ucla-admissions-to-lick-my-scrotum/87539/12 "2001-10-17T15:12:28Z")
Ah, sorry. Sloppy reading. As you were. Continue.