# I could eat her right up - what is this phenomenon? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 28, 2006, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432 "2006-07-28T18:09:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/21 "2006-07-28T21:58:08Z")
Are you getting enough baby in your diet? You might need a baby oil supplement. ---
**Author:** ![Blanche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Blanche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blanche)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/22 "2006-07-28T22:12:59Z")
I have this and a more disturbing variation…when I am holding my younger kids, there’s something about their smallness and vulnerability that makes me think about how easy it would be to kill them - I visualize breaking their neck or throwing them across the room. Then I feel horrified and guilty and find myself being overly cautious when handling them to avoid accidentally hurting them, because it reminds me of how fragile they can be. Maybe that’s intentional. I came up with the idea once that the reason we think of babies as being delicious and think about eating them is to remind us that there are animals out there that WOULD like to eat our babies. Maybe it’s to evoke a “protect my food from others that would eat it” instinct on top of the usual maternal protective instinct. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/23 "2006-07-28T22:16:40Z")
I always want to bite my partners. Hands, arms, and shoulders are my favorite biting areas, but sometimes I nibble on ears too. I don’t bite to hurt, I mostly just like to gnaw a little. Cute things don’t evoke a biting response in me, just a cuddle-and-kiss response. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/24 "2006-07-28T22:24:29Z")
I’m wondering if this a deeply sublimated grooming urge: to bring into contact with our mouths the small and fragile. Nothing sexual about it at all. Blanche, I know exactly what you mean. When I’m petting The Best Cats in the World®, sometimes I become terribly aware of how easy it would be to crush their skulls with my hand – and then I think of all the people out there who do stuff like that, and I physically want to cry: rapid blinking, throat constricts, etc. I gotta stop petting my cats! ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19adc/32.png) [@Red\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Rover)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/25 "2006-07-28T23:04:16Z")
I know the feeling, like when I am petting a kitten and I want to love him and hug him and squeeze him and call him George. It’s almost like trying to absorb the cuteness into your body - become one with the cute! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/26 "2006-07-28T23:07:47Z")
:: blink :: :: blink blink :: Once again the SDMB surprises me. 🙂 I have never had children of my own, so I honestly don’t know what the feelings a father might have towards his biological newborn might be. I sometimes\* use expressions like, “You are so scrumptious, I could just steal you away and kiss you all over and eat you up,” especially when speaking to some lovely sensuous curvaceous woman… :: pause :: Um, what was I saying again? Oh yes. There’s definitely a sensuous, almost erotic appreciation of the Beloved, and ‘eating’ is only one way this could manifest itself. This erotic appreciation need not be limited to traditional sexual subjects, either; it can include sex as a subset, but IMHO it’s far larger and far more inclusive that that. It’s really about the appreciation of beauty in the universe, wherever it may be found. For me, this appreciation tends to come up in the visual appreciation of shape and form and especially colour. Intense colours can be extremely erotic to me. There is tactile appreciation as well. I can see where eating or tasting would fit right in there; what is taste, ultimately, but a kind of touch? On the other hand, **Velma** , it could be a lingering effect of Teh Evil that was in the Cooler of Death… 😃 [sub]\*I don’t use this expression nearly as much as I would like to… [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![foxymoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@foxymoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxymoron)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/27 "2006-07-29T01:26:13Z")
I’ve felt this about cute things, but particularly when looking at my own son when he was younger. Newborn to age three, about. I remember this desire to absorb him. Nuzzling my face in his neck, or belly, or armpit, would satisfy the ‘urge’ (not that I was in danger of acting on it) to bite him. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/28 "2006-07-29T02:21:57Z")
I don’t feel this with cute things, but with sexual partners I find my mouth goes right for his neck. Not to bite, but for some reason I get an overwhelming urge to kiss and lick and mouth his neck. Weird. ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/29 "2006-07-29T03:59:33Z")
The first time I saw an iPod nano, I wanted very much to put it in my mouth. It would have fit, too. I don’t have an oral fixation (i.e., put EVERYTHING in my mouth), but I do find biting sexy. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/30 "2006-07-29T06:28:35Z")
> [@Mirror Image egamI rorriM](#): > > The first time I saw an iPod nano, I wanted very much to put it in my mouth. It would have fit, too. Seems you weren’t the first to have [that idea](http://www.firewheeldesign.com/sparkplug/2005/January/do_not_eat_ipod_shuffle.php). ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/31 "2006-07-29T11:50:41Z")
> [@KidScruffy](#): > > I wonder if I’m the only person to whom this sounds extremely bizarre. And I’m surprised that you find it bizarre or that the OP bothered asking about it. I thought that feeling was mostly universal. By the way, when I feel this urge with a lover, it’s not sexual. It’s when I feel very affectionnate. However, indeed, I’d be curious to know why we have such urges. The hypothesis about the same area of the brain dealing with “cute” things and “delicious” things is interesting but is it more than a wild guess by the poster? ---
**Author:** ![zuma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9c0ed/32.png) [@zuma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zuma)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/32 "2006-07-29T13:09:22Z")
This mentally ill thread remains open? It’s GQ and I can’t say more than that with our rules and such. They’re talking about eating and killing babies and puppies. I can’t talk about the obivous, so sorry for wasting everyone’s time. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/33 "2006-07-29T13:23:30Z")
> [@zuma](#): > > This mentally ill thread remains open? It’s GQ and I can’t say more than that with our rules and such. They’re talking about eating and killing babies and puppies. No, they are not. They are talking about ways in which feelings of love and care and delight are expressed. The worst experience babies and puppies in this thread will get from these people is being hugged too tight. FWIW, I’ve seen the feeling of " I could eat you" worded by many new parents in parenting books. **Blanche** and **Daithi Lacha** , [here’s an explanation.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7440735&postcount=12) ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/34 "2006-07-29T13:37:44Z")
The older adults would say “You’re so sweet, I could eat you all up.” ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/35 "2006-07-29T15:38:44Z")
I don’t think it’s a very fancy urge. Nonsexual love is an urge and it can be overwhelming but there’s no outlet for it so it makes sense to feel like when you were a baby and the first warm comfort was to be held and fed. Babies aren’t trying to hurt anyone when they put everything in their mouth. When you grow up you learn that biting or putting things in your mouth is not as great for the thing you are biting and putting in your mouth as it is for you and you _can_ think of consequences and you _do_ think of consequences when you consider putting the puppy’s head in your mouth. Nonsexual love and wanting to protect something and be near it doesn’t have any consummation so you’re helpless to a problem that can’t be solved. But the very first time you ever were around someone they fed you and you grabbed them and tried to use your mouth and when you did it solved your longing. So naturally you would fall back to that. It was the first thing you ever learned to do with another warm living thing to solve a longing you had no idea how to solve. I don’t think it’s about wanting to eat something as a predator, it’s about wanting to be fed by something you love. Even though you grow up and now you’re the one who is feeding the little thing, it doesn’t necessarily mean that now you have the upper hand and don’t need or want comfort in return. You have some degree of longing to be loved back and even though you are not going to ask that the baby feed you, it would still be nice. It’s a pretty vague urge. Being human is full of vague urges that make no logical sense. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/36 "2006-07-29T15:43:06Z")
**pokey** , that makes perfect sense. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/37 "2006-07-29T16:00:57Z")
Erikson talks about the oral-sensory stage in child development. Freud puts it like this: Child Development: Freud’s Oral Phase The oral phase begins at birth and lasts eight months. It is characterized by the infant’s concern for his mouth and gratification he feels from oral stimuli. The most obvious oral activity the child derives pleasure from is eating. Oral stimulation, however, is also produced by engaging in such activities as sucking, biting, swallowing and manipulating various parts of the mouth. Freud contended that these activities are he child’s means of fulfilling his sexual urges. Hence, Eros (the life instinct) makes its appearance. But Thanatos (the death instinct) is also seen since quite frequently children destroy objects they come in contact with, often by biting them. During this phase, the child’s personality is controlled by the id. He demands immediate gratification of his wants. Other phases related to Oral Phase: Trust vs. Mistrust Primary narcissism Need-satisfying paranoid-schizoid position part-object relations normal autism Birth Frankly, I think **pokey** puts it well. But I still like the name acute dingoism. ---
**Author:** ![Carlyjay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Carlyjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carlyjay)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2006, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/38 "2006-07-29T17:28:29Z")
I find this instinct to squish cute things hilarious. Every time this subject comes up in conversation I kill myself laughing. It’s such a weird but common human sensation, and I think it’s really, really funny. And frankly, the few posts on here of people who are horrified only makes things funnier. I mean, if someone was actually ACTING on these urges, that would be awful, but I’ve never met anyone who even considered doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2006, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/39 "2006-07-31T14:32:34Z")
> [@Red Rover](#): > > I know the feeling, like when I am petting a kitten and I want to love him and hug him and squeeze him and call him George. It’s almost like trying to absorb the cuteness into your body - become one with the cute! This is a good way of putting how I feel. It really is more of an “absord the cute” feeling than any ideas of harming. **Foxymoron** ’s explanation seems close too. The ideas of thinking about harming the cute thing are a different sensation than what I am thinking of. I think I know what some of you are referring to with that one though. That one’s more of a visualization, like when I am carrying my baby down some stairs or something, and the idea of “what if I drop him” gets into your head because it’s so horrible, and then that’s all you can think about and you visualize it over and over. I’ve read about that feeling in baby and parenting books but I’ve never read about this one. The “absorb” the cuteness thing is more of an urge than a visual picture. I don’t know how to differentiate them better than that. It really is an urge to protect and not an urge to harm, which is why I wondered where it comes from and why I would instinctually put something I want to protect in my mouth. It’s funny how some people know the feeling and assume everyone has it and some people have no idea what I am talking about. I assumed that since phrases like “I could eat you all up” are common that this was an accepted urge that most people have, but maybe that’s not where those phrases come from. It doesn’t seem like this phenomenon has a name though, or a real explanation and that’s what I was looking for. Some guesses here sound as good as any though. I don’t find this thread particularly disturbing myself (especially compared to other things I have read on this board.) If you’re taking it as ‘ways Velma is thinking about hurting little kitties’ then you can calm down and be assured that no kitties were harmed by the making of this thread. ---
**Author:** ![myrnajean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@myrnajean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myrnajean)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2006, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432/40 "2006-07-31T17:38:39Z")
I have always had this feeling too, wanting to stuff the puppies/kittens head in my mouth, but never babies. I could never figure it out either, and I always reminded me of a hamster I had when I was in highschool. She stuffed all her babies in her mouthcheeks, and never took them back out ! :eek: _oooh, such a cute baby-hamster stuff-stuff, ooooh look another one! mmfpfpffttt, ooommpp sthrreee baby hammmpsters mmmmfffppttt_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-eat-her-right-up-what-is-this-phenomenon/366432.md?page=3)