# I could smack, strangle, and lecture you for 3 hrs, but you still won't get it, will you? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 6, 2011, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-smack-strangle-and-lecture-you-for-3-hrs-but-you-still-wont-get-it-will-you/591720 "2011-08-06T11:38:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-smack-strangle-and-lecture-you-for-3-hrs-but-you-still-wont-get-it-will-you/591720/101 "2011-08-10T04:29:32Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Frankly, it seems tomme you’ve wasted far more emotional capital on this chick than she’s worth. Why waste even one more second’s thought on her? Just delete her from your emotional life. It’s not like there as ever much of a relationship here. I wrote this long, detailed rant as a way to get all this stuff out of my system, and it comes off as more “emotional capital” wasted than it really is. Other times when I’m angry about something, I go out to the garage and go a couple rounds with my punching bag. It’s cathartic to get all of the frustrated feelings out of my system, and I always feel better after. Now that it’s all said and done (on my part, at least), I don’t forsee anymore problems. The only reason I don’t block her from Facebook and all of that is because it would stir up drama that I never wanted to start in the first place. She and I share 60-some friends, and are both in a FB “group” with several of our girlfriends. It just makes more sense to maintain basic civility, rather than block her entirely and have her emailing and calling and asking our other friends what’s wrong, if I’m mad at her, etc. This is the path of less resistance, lol. And one more time: **No, I never sent it, never talked to her about it, and never made a big deal over it except for this thread. And now I’m finished with bitching and ready to move on.** ---
**Author:** ![furlibusea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@furlibusea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furlibusea)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-smack-strangle-and-lecture-you-for-3-hrs-but-you-still-wont-get-it-will-you/591720/102 "2011-08-10T04:40:37Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > Yeah, I can’t argue with any of that. I think I kept giving her chances because I know about things in her past that are so unbelievably awful, moreso than anyone I’ve ever known. There was childhood sexual abuse for over 10 years, and she got shot in an attempted robbery while she was 7 months pregnant and lost the baby. Knowing that stuff just ripped my heart out, and enabled me to overlook a lot of things I never would have with anyone else. One thing I have discovered about a lot of people who have had really difficult lives is that adversity does not always or maybe even often make for nice people. This seems to be particularly true of people who have had early sexual abuse. Not everyone that lives with the damage is a survivor. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-smack-strangle-and-lecture-you-for-3-hrs-but-you-still-wont-get-it-will-you/591720/103 "2011-08-10T14:08:31Z")
Surely there must be a reality show that would pay good money to run with this story for a while. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-smack-strangle-and-lecture-you-for-3-hrs-but-you-still-wont-get-it-will-you/591720/104 "2011-08-10T16:05:18Z")
> [@furlibusea](#): > > One thing I have discovered about a lot of people who have had really difficult lives is that adversity does not always or maybe even often make for nice people. This seems to be particularly true of people who have had early sexual abuse. Not everyone that lives with the damage is a survivor. That’s absolutely why I think it took me so long to finally give up trying to be her friend. My empathy for her became blinders that blocked me from really seeing her true personality. And while I still have just as much compassion for her as ever, it’s clear that being friends with someone who is so broken is high maintainence and not worth it at all. > [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Surely there must be a reality show that would pay good money to run with this story for a while. Oh lawd, that would be the most boring reality show ever made.😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-smack-strangle-and-lecture-you-for-3-hrs-but-you-still-wont-get-it-will-you/591720.md?page=5)