# I Could Use Some Advice: I Am At The End Of My Rope

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-use-some-advice-i-am-at-the-end-of-my-rope/805478>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 28, 2017, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-use-some-advice-i-am-at-the-end-of-my-rope/805478 "2017-12-28T19:01:52Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\
**Post date:** [January 3, 2018, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-use-some-advice-i-am-at-the-end-of-my-rope/805478/61 "2018-01-03T21:29:07Z")

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Good news. I’m glad you were able to get help when you needed it.

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**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\
**Post date:** [January 3, 2018, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-use-some-advice-i-am-at-the-end-of-my-rope/805478/62 "2018-01-03T21:39:52Z")

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> [@Grrr](#):
>
> I believe you need to just suck it up and get your butt to work. I’m not getting the sense that your disorder is so bad you can’t work.

Gosh, what horrible advice. You literally know nothing about this person and you’re ‘getting a sense’ that he just needs to suck it up?

Please, do not ever share your advice with depressed and/or suicidal people. EVER.

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**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\
**Post date:** [January 3, 2018, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-use-some-advice-i-am-at-the-end-of-my-rope/805478/63 "2018-01-03T21:49:28Z")

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> [@Chimera](#):
>
> Gosh, what horrible advice. You literally know nothing about this person and you’re ‘getting a sense’ that he just needs to suck it up?
> 
> Please, do not ever share your advice with depressed and/or suicidal people. EVER.

You mean the exact advice **HH** took and others agreed with?

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**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\
**Post date:** [January 3, 2018, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-could-use-some-advice-i-am-at-the-end-of-my-rope/805478/64 "2018-01-03T23:08:51Z")

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> [@Grrr](#):
>
> You mean the exact advice **HH** took and others agreed with?

“Just suck it up” is the worst possible piece of advice for someone suffering from depression and anxiety. Thanks for being so compassionate. :rolleyes:  
**HeyHomie** , let me give you two small pieces of advice;

Enjoy the small moments. They’re what makes life. Not the big moments, not the huge victories, not glory. Just the small moments you experience every day. Sitting with a pet, listening to a favorite song, hugging your wife, playing a game with friends, watching a river or sunset. Find those moments and enjoy them. Set aside everything else in that moment and allow yourself to be happy for a minute, even when everything else is shit.

The other tool is to stop your internal conversations and bad thoughts. You can’t force them to not happen, but you can stop yourself and decide to move on and think about something else, or just not have that conversation in your head. Honestly and speaking from experience, this seems really difficult, but it is absolutely necessary to break the patterns in your head. Don’t fight, don’t get mad, don’t get sad. Just stop yourself in mid-thought when you catch yourself, and mentally move away from those thoughts to something else.

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