# I crap bigger than you (way TMI) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2008, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886 "2008-04-04T03:34:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/21 "2008-04-04T15:03:59Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] And posted it here. (warning, website where people take pictures of their BM’s and post) [/QUOTE] I’ve removed your link. Since our goal is to help people avoid accidentally clicking on NSFW links, simple warnings aren’t enough. We ask that you follow the “two-click” rule, or post a non-clickable address. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/22 "2008-04-04T15:12:10Z")
Heh. I had some mild constipation in the weeks following baby Colin’s arrival, and then only thing to get it to budge was the combination of a stool softener and a big mug of coffee. So then I’d produce these gigantic loads that were the consistency of soft-serve ice cream (sorry, DQ fans!) that filled the bottom of the bowl and even broke the surface of the water. Out came the plunger, which I hated doing, because then I had to disinfect it in the bathtub, and then disinfect the bathtub. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/23 "2008-04-04T15:24:17Z")
[QUOTE=Litoris] Yes, but do you try to guess what colour it is by the smell? :eek: [/QUOTE] No, but only because I have no sense of smell. Darn! ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/24 "2008-04-04T15:34:35Z")
[QUOTE=runner pat] Ron White: “Ever taken a crap so big your pants fit better?” [/QUOTE] Actually, I have. I’m a small person, so it shocks me how large my poops are. I actually feel like my entire intestine is cleared when I am done. Susan ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/25 "2008-04-04T15:44:02Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] **Litoris** , the main question everyone had after the kitten incident was, “How did you get it _in_ there?” [/QUOTE] I just assumed you’d backed up to it, squatted down, rolled it to the box and then buried it. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/26 "2008-04-04T15:53:49Z")
[QUOTE=SkipMagic] I’ve removed your link. Since our goal is to help people avoid accidentally clicking on NSFW links, simple warnings aren’t enough. We ask that you follow the “two-click” rule, or post a non-clickable address. [/QUOTE] My apologies- I went back and forth on whether poo counted as NSFW, and should have erred on the side of caution. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/27 "2008-04-04T15:54:39Z")
I just came in here to post the epic sequential threads: **I crap bigger than you (way TMI)** **Snake Dreams** 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/28 "2008-04-04T15:56:20Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] My apologies- I went back and forth on whether poo counted as NSFW, and should have erred on the side of caution. 🙂 [/QUOTE] No worries. You’re welcome to post the link again; it’s not my cup of tea, but I know others will be fascinated by it. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/29 "2008-04-04T15:57:24Z")
[QUOTE=SkipMagic] No worries. You’re welcome to post the link again; it’s not my cup of tea, but I know others will be fascinated by it. [/QUOTE] Not mine either but its ratemypoo with the www at the front and dot com at the end. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/30 "2008-04-04T15:59:09Z")
[QUOTE=Zsofia] **Santo Rugger** , what do you _eat_? [/QUOTE] Not enough fiber. :smack: [QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] Or _who_? [/quote] She made me promise not to tell. > [@](#): > > I bet your Charger accelerates noticeably quicker if you take it out for a spin post-dump… I can’t really notice it in my Charger, but I do on my motorcycle. If it’s not faster, at least it’s more mobile. 🆒 [QUOTE=SkipMagic] No worries. You’re welcome to post the link again; it’s not my cup of tea, but I know others will be fascinated by it. [/QUOTE] Heh. Some of us new what the link was before **Wee Bairn** just posted it. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/31 "2008-04-04T15:59:58Z")
[QUOTE=runner pat] Ron White: “Ever taken a crap so big your pants fit better?” [/QUOTE] Al Pacino: “You ever take a dump made you feel like you’d just slept for twelve hours?” ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/32 "2008-04-04T16:49:22Z")
This is too funny to finish at work…I’m crying over here, and I need to finish my lunch! (Yeah! I was trying to eat in this thread!) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/33 "2008-04-04T16:58:32Z")
Damn, **Dung Beetle** , first your bob-bitchin user name and now this. You’re my hero. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/34 "2008-04-04T17:05:00Z")
[QUOTE=ignis\_glaciesque] You should’ve taken a picture. [/QUOTE] Ah, no. Even if I had my camera with me, I probably wouldn’t have thought of it. Even if I’d thought of it I would have reconsidered (I hope). There are some things just not meant to be seen by someone else. Your imagination will have to serve. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/35 "2008-04-04T17:09:58Z")
[QUOTE=BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed] I could have done without the mental image of 2 giant turds trying to fit through a “throat.” Blorgh. [/QUOTE] Sorry about that. Isn’t that what it’s called? I’m no plumber. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/36 "2008-04-04T17:18:04Z")
[QUOTE=Dr. Woo] Damn, **Dung Beetle** , first your bob-bitchin user name and now this. You’re my hero. [/QUOTE] I admit, it was the pinnacle of my achievements. And I like you too! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/37 "2008-04-04T17:37:18Z")
**Dung Beetle** and **Litoris** , my opinions of the two of you are vastly changed. Is it possible I love you even more? A few years back I had surgery. The day after, when the nurse pulled out the foley catheter, I swore I’d kill her and her entire family. I mean, that was really painful! Most painful thing in the world, I told her. She laughed and said it was nothing. Childbirth, she assured me, was far worse. Liar. A few days later I got a call from my surgeon, wanting to know how I was doing. He wanted to know if I had pooped since the surgery. It occurred to me that I hadn’t. Apparently the painkillers I was on had a constipating effect. He told me that it was really important that I spit out a few assnuggets. I’m not sure why, but I could picture myself exploding in a burst of poopiness. I had to give it a shot. What had happened was that a turd the size of a bowling ball had built up inside of me. Passing that through my anus was, well… I can see how childbirth might be a wee bit uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/38 "2008-04-04T17:53:16Z")
Hahaha, on a side note – the other night, we went out to dinner. As we were finishing up, my son (he’s 8) decided he needed to poop. Ok, go ahead, we will pay the bill and wait for you. He comes back to the table, oh 15 minutes or so later, to announce that he had just plugged up the toilet. It was with a mixture of pride and shame that I explained to the nice server that they might want to check on the men’s restroom as my son said one of the toilets was plugged. Oh, and **tdn**? I will vouch for constipation being worse than childbirth. I have only been constipated once, and I thought I was going to die. Sadly, I didn’t get that bowling ball sized turd satisfaction when it finally came out – it was about a million marble sized lead nuggets. Gods, you would think to hurt that friggin much, it should have been bigger. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/39 "2008-04-04T18:10:24Z")
I once went to the ER because of constipation. I seriously thought I was going to die, it hurt so much. Doctor’s diagnosis? “You’re full of shit.” Yes, she actually said that. (I’ve always suspected.) July 5th, 1995, my first day at a new job. I got a short break and decided to use it to poop. I only had a couple of minutes and then had to get back to my new boss. I didn’t realize until I flushed that I’d plugged the toilet. Poopy water was rising, then overflowing. The bathroom actually accumulated about a half inch of poopy water, and I was standing in it. All I had to combat it with was paper towels, and I knew it would take a good hour to clean up. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2008, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886/40 "2008-04-04T19:20:42Z")
The only think I can toss into the ring (heh) here is one time back in college. I had put on some of the typical college weight and had been working on getting rid of it. Part of the plan was to have my (then) bf help me track my weight at a certain time every day. One day I weighed in and then felt the need. I decided I’d weigh in again afterwards and have that be my official weight for the day. When I got back on the scale I’d lost two pounds. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-crap-bigger-than-you-way-tmi/443886.md?page=3)