# I Dance on the Grave of Cynical Partisan Obstructionism **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 21, 2010, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199 "2010-03-21T03:20:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/1 "2010-03-21T03:20:39Z")
You lose, mouth-breathers. For a year you’ve been down on your knees. Obediently deep-throating your Master’s scaly cock while you fervently pray to Him between eagerly-gulped mouthfuls of oily Devil-Jizz to allow the greed to endure. Of course you long ago sold _your_ soul to the Angel of Darkness, but then later, the souls of your families, as well. And when that wasn’t enough, their tight, puckered, BrownEyes too. Ahhh, but for _this_ one, you were desperate enough to trade away the future of your own Party if only Old Nick would just keep the filthy money flowing to you and the rest of his Spawn. And mmmmmmmmmmmm… as always, sucking and swallowing–simple submissive shitstains slobbing bobbing, up and down. Now! Rimming Lucifer’s bung! Then! Lying back for the Tea-Bag Party to begin! Oooooohhhh! What’s this? Ayn Rand slithers from the nearest sulfur pit to diddle the remains of your grandmother’s worm-infested clit, as her wretched cooze fouls your eager facehole. Always said there’s no pie as tasty as grandma’s! Grand old party, but it wasn’t quite enough. The King of Hell double-tricked you, as you do unto your own brothers and sisters. When He realized that this isn’t about mere greed and power to you, and certainly not about principles–when He sensed that you couldn’t care less about the actual legislation–that you are conspiring as a party (regardless of your actual feelings about improving health-care) simply to thwart the President and his party at all costs–He let out a great roar of evil laughter, then Hate-Fucked you in your collective ass. And even as you trembled in ecstasy, and begged to eat your own putrid shit off His monstrous corporate-asset, He laughed and thrust. Laughed and thrust. Ejaculated, the ejected you from His Hell to face the Earthly hell that you have fashioned for yourselves. Though you are finished, it won’t happen right away. You’ll still have a little time to pretend you’re relevant. I guess Satan likes your knob-gobbling enough to let you gain a few seats in November, but it’ll all be over soon enough. Because even the most rabid gulper of Glennrush Fox droppings will–in a heartbeat–abandon the sorry remainder of you blindly cynical obstructionists once he discovers that an improved health-care system actually benefits his family and him. Go. Go now, repulsive, selfish darkspots! Go weeping and gnashing your spunk-encrusted fangs into the Void that you oozed from. For tomorrow I shall dance on your grave! You lose. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/2 "2010-03-21T03:22:12Z")
I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/3 "2010-03-21T03:26:05Z")
This critic gives this rant his coveted 5 star rating. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/4 "2010-03-21T03:27:59Z")
Joe Bob **'luc** says “Check it out!” ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/5 "2010-03-21T03:30:23Z")
So, tell us what you _reeaallly_ think. ---
**Author:** ![Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enter_the_Flagon)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/6 "2010-03-21T03:40:15Z")
> [@joebuck20](#): > > So, tell us what you _reeaallly_ think. I’m guessing he doesn’t like conservatives. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/7 "2010-03-21T03:42:24Z")
One thing I definitely won’t miss: Seeing John Boehner’s leathery orange face on the news practically every night, who without a hint of irony would decry “government run health care” and in the same breath urge us to oppose the bill because it cuts into our beloved Medicare. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/8 "2010-03-21T03:47:54Z")
> [@Enter\_the\_Flagon](#): > > I’m guessing he doesn’t like conservatives. Buckley and his ilk were okay… would that we had people like that around today. These days Billy F. and I would be sharing the same fallout shelter–waiting for the Dumbfuck Storm to pass. Please, please send us some real, thinking conservatives who will rid us of these screeching, poisonous pretenders. Maybe then we can get back to discussing policy. ---
**Author:** ![Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enter_the_Flagon)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/9 "2010-03-21T03:52:53Z")
> [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > Buckley and his ilk were okay… would that we had people like that around today. These days Billy F. and I would be sharing the same fallout shelter–waiting for the Dumbfuck Storm to pass. > > Please, please send us some real, thinking conservatives who will rid us of these screeching, poisonous pretenders. Maybe then we can get back to discussing policy. Yep, seems like the term “intellectual conservative” has turned into an oxymoron. As opposed to, say, Sarah Palin, who’s turned into a Nazi moron. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/10 "2010-03-21T03:53:42Z")
> [@Blalron](#): > > One thing I definitely won’t miss: Seeing John Boehner’s leathery orange face on the news practically every night, who without a hint of irony would decry “government run health care” and in the same breath urge us to oppose the bill because it cuts into our beloved Medicare. :smack: Ugliest, meanest, most rock-headed Oompa-Loompa I’ve ever seen. [Evil Agent Orange](http://static.crooksandliars.com/files/uploads/2009/11/oompa_loompa2_14e5a.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/11 "2010-03-21T04:14:57Z")
It’s strange, the difference between the media (where all is vote counting and suspense) and other outlets (like here, Intrade, and 538) which are treating the odds as much better. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/12 "2010-03-21T04:26:27Z")
Hell, thats just marketing, keeping you tuning in to find out what’s changed. Funny thing is, the illusion can create the reality, a wavering Congresscritter can tune in CNN, see how close this thing seems to be, and be reluctant to throw down. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/13 "2010-03-21T04:32:05Z")
> [@](#): > > I Dance on the Grave of Cynical Partisan Obstructionism If there were ever a grave destined to reopen and spew its contents back onto an unsuspecting public, it’d be this one. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/14 "2010-03-21T04:47:07Z")
Hell is full, and the Republicans walk amongst us! ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/15 "2010-03-21T05:25:31Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > If there were ever a grave destined to reopen and spew its contents back onto an unsuspecting public, it’d be this one. “That is not dead that can eternal lie…” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/16 "2010-03-21T06:03:26Z")
Vote Cthulu! He’ll eat you _last_! ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/17 "2010-03-21T06:46:12Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > It’s strange, the difference between the media (where all is vote counting and suspense) and other outlets (like here, Intrade, and 538) which are treating the odds as much better. To be honest, I can’t be sure of the Critter-Count… I just loves me some grave dancin’! I first learned the steps from this wretched troglodyte named **Rand Rimmer** (or something like that). Beyond that, I do have confidence in the persuasive power of Congressional arm-twisting. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/18 "2010-03-21T06:54:25Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > It’s strange, the difference between the media (where all is vote counting and suspense) and other outlets (like here, Intrade, and 538) which are treating the odds as much better. As Yoda said, “never underestimate the power of the Dark Side.” I’m not going to be doing any grave dancing until the votes are tallied and the gavel slams down. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/19 "2010-03-21T07:24:16Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > If there were ever a grave destined to reopen and spew its contents back onto an unsuspecting public, it’d be this one. > [@Polycarp](#): > > “That is not dead that can eternal lie…” 😛 Eternal lie? Sounds about right… ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199/20 "2010-03-21T07:24:50Z")
> [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > Buckley and his ilk were okay… would that we had people like that around today. These days Billy F. and I would be sharing the same fallout shelter–waiting for the Dumbfuck Storm to pass. > > Please, please send us some real, thinking conservatives who will rid us of these screeching, poisonous pretenders. Maybe then we can get back to discussing policy. > [@Enter\_the\_Flagon](#): > > Yep, seems like the term “intellectual conservative” has turned into an oxymoron. > > As opposed to, say, Sarah Palin, who’s turned into a Nazi moron. It’s remarkable, isn’t it, how much WFB’s reputation has improved among members of the left now that he’s done us the favor of dying. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dance-on-the-grave-of-cynical-partisan-obstructionism/533199.md?page=2)