# I did a nice gesture.....we'll see if it's appreciated or not **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 14, 2019, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515 "2019-06-14T16:54:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/101 "2019-06-16T01:22:45Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > If you cut two lawns a day, every day of the year, it would take 34 years to cut 25,000 lawns. So who’s older? You or the damsel in distress? Well, he [_is_](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=772069) the Lawnmower Man. ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/102 "2019-06-16T04:45:47Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > It was not nice that you dug around to find out where she lives. It was a real invasion of her privacy and one you should never, ever repeat. > > If a situation like this ever comes up again, you should offer to help out, rather than sneaking around. The sneaking is where the creepy came in. > > All in all, a nice thought but very poorly executed. How in the name of common sense can it be an “invasion of privacy” when that information is PUBLICLY available? You remind me of the people who think that it’s illegal to take pictures in public spaces. > [@markn\_1](#): > > I say pretty creepy. The idea that someone would look up my address, come to my house and mess around with my property in my yard when I’m not there and didn’t approve it, is really not ok. You should have just asked first. Once upon a time, there were people who would come onto your property without your permission, and collect information regarding your living habits. It didn’t matter whether you wanted them there or not. And it did no good to complain to the police, because–believe it or not–these nefarious activities were sanctioned by the local government. Those creepy people were called “meter readers.” ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/103 "2019-06-16T05:16:18Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > … > Those creepy people were called “meter readers.” So, they were people who had a legitimate and pre-established reason to be on your property and their behavior was governed by rules and regulations? That’s nothing like what we’re discussing. Given the OP’s two other bizarre threads, I don’t for a minute think this really happened and we are instead reacting to a fantasy that has only played out here and in his head, but as a hypothetical exercise, it represents a violation of this person’s privacy. Privacy can be violated even by using publicly available. For example, someone could probably dox you based on your posts here on a public message board, but that practice is rightfully prohibited here because it represents a violation of our privacy. There is no legitimate reason for someone to dox you and there is no legitimate reason for someone to research public records to find your home, come on to your property and mow your lawn. In fact that would be trespassing and the woman in this scenario (if she exists) would be within her rights to pursue action. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/104 "2019-06-16T08:06:25Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > How in the name of common sense can it be an “invasion of privacy” when that information is PUBLICLY available? > > You remind me of the people who think that it’s illegal to take pictures in public spaces… ." Oh come on. There are degrees of behaviour, and you know it… Taking a picture of a public space in which I happen to be; not illegal, and fine. Parking outside my house until I leave and following me all day taking pictures from behind bushes with a telephoto lens, then making a montage on you basement wall above a table with a tiny doll with my face stuck to it, surrounded by permanently burning tea lights; still probably not illegal, but deeply disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/105 "2019-06-16T08:11:13Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > How in the name of common sense can it be an “invasion of privacy” when that information is PUBLICLY available? I don’t like having my address and phone number in publicly-accessible databases, but there seems to be little (if anything) I can do about it. Periodically I’ve attempted to get this information hidden or deleted, but have only been marginally successful. If someone _who has no legitimate need to know my address_ goes searching for it in one of those public databases, then yes, I consider that act an invasion of my privacy. Wanting to come to my house and and mow my lawn without my knowledge or permission is not a legitimate reason. ---
**Author:** ![UnwittingAmericans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d9b06d/32.png) [@UnwittingAmericans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwittingAmericans)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/106 "2019-06-16T08:55:38Z")
It’s basically rape. ---
**Author:** ![LiveFree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@LiveFree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveFree)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/107 "2019-06-16T09:39:05Z")
> [@UnwittingAmericans](#): > > It’s basically rape. Ding, ding, ding…we have the best reply yet??? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/108 "2019-06-16T10:11:31Z")
Is this a “stand your ground” state? If so, and I caught you, I’d go after you with a weed whacker. Loaded with razor wire. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/109 "2019-06-16T10:24:42Z")
> [@UnwittingAmericans](#): > > It’s basically rape. I know you think you’re funny and that’s adorable. 4chan down? ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/110 "2019-06-16T11:07:30Z")
> [@LiveFree](#): > > I’ll make this more interesting. > > First of all, she isn’t married or have a boyfriend. And not that this matters, she’s in her late fifties. > And to add more…I’ve probably cut 25,000+ lawns in my lifetime. So this old lady who didn’t give you her name or address reacts to your creepy behaviour by asking for your info so that she can send you some scrolling thank you meme that you can share with a bunch of other strangers to prove that you’re really a great person? And the fact that you’re invading this woman’s privacy doesn’t matter because she’s not married and in her late fifties? That attitude shows me you’re not really telling this little tale\* for any reason other than to show off your detective skills rather than lay claim to any humanitarian effort. And my dusty old lady hackles are pretty creeped out by this. News flash, little boy: stalkers don’t confine themselves to pretty girls. Even old broads like me are wise to watch our step. \*tale, noun: a story. See also fairy. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/111 "2019-06-16T11:32:48Z")
> [@LiveFree](#): > > Ding, ding, ding…we have the best reply yet??? :rolleyes: So, basicly, you have learned nothing from this experience and still think being a stalker (you. are. a. stalker.) is okay. ---
**Author:** ![LiveFree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@LiveFree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveFree)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/112 "2019-06-16T12:19:03Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > So, basicly, you have learned nothing from this experience and still think being a stalker (you. are. a. stalker.) is okay. Where in the heck come up with that??? Obviously you haven’t read my responses. It appears he compared it to rape. ---
**Author:** ![LiveFree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@LiveFree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveFree)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/113 "2019-06-16T12:26:28Z")
> [@BeeGee](#): > > So this old lady who didn’t give you her name or address reacts to your creepy behaviour by asking for your info so that she can send you some scrolling thank you meme that you can share with a bunch of other strangers to prove that you’re really a great person? > > And the fact that you’re invading this woman’s privacy doesn’t matter because she’s not married and in her late fifties? That attitude shows me you’re not really telling this little tale\* for any reason other than to show off your detective skills rather than lay claim to any humanitarian effort. And my dusty old lady hackles are pretty creeped out by this. News flash, little boy: stalkers don’t confine themselves to pretty girls. Even old broads like me are wise to watch our step. > > \*tale, noun: a story. See also fairy. Lots of speculation there. Wow. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/114 "2019-06-16T12:33:39Z")
So, like why the manipulation of NOT revealing that she’s already a friend of yours? Or her age? These tiny details were deliberately left off, but suddenly took on importance when people called you on the creepy factor. From this side it almost appears like you were purposely dancing right up to the ragged fringes of trolling. Can you explain why you’d ignore these details initially, only to then play them as mitigating reasons for your actions? Were you being as disingenuous as that appears? ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/115 "2019-06-16T12:34:01Z")
> [@LiveFree](#): > > Where in the heck come up with that??? Obviously you haven’t read my responses. It appears he compared it to rape. The rape comment ridicules women’s quite rational concerns about their safety. Your signing on to it so enthusiastically means that you really, really don’t get why people think what you did was so creepy. This is not surprising because you appear to have quite the history of doing creepy things. ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/116 "2019-06-16T12:50:23Z")
> [@LiveFree](#): > > Lots of speculation there. Wow. You rolls the dice, you take your chances. You rolled. The outcome is that an overwhelming number of us believe the actions you describe are certifiably creepy. I don’t think it’s true. At what point on this sliding scale of bs it goes off the rails, I’m not sure. But certainly by the time that she sends you some scrolling thank you blurb just in time for you to conveniently let us know how much your actions were appreciated. I’m guessing you came up with this scenario for impressing some woman you want to get closer to. Your friends told you it’s a bad idea, so you decide to present it to us as something you’ve already done. Then when you get called out, you start making up these weird details. Either that or typical fan fic. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/117 "2019-06-16T13:45:20Z")
> [@BeeGee](#): > > You rolls the dice, you take your chances. You rolled. The outcome is that an overwhelming number of us believe the actions you describe are certifiably creepy. I don’t think it’s true. At what point on this sliding scale of bs it goes off the rails, I’m not sure. But certainly by the time that she sends you some scrolling thank you blurb just in time for you to conveniently let us know how much your actions were appreciated. > > I’m guessing you came up with this scenario for impressing some woman you want to get closer to. Your friends told you it’s a bad idea, so you decide to present it to us as something you’ve already done. Then when you get called out, you start making up these weird details. > > Either that or typical fan fic. I am 100% aligned it to this interpretation. ---
**Author:** ![UnwittingAmericans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d9b06d/32.png) [@UnwittingAmericans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwittingAmericans)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/118 "2019-06-16T13:54:21Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I know you think you’re funny and that’s adorable. 4chan down? I’m the only one who knew what was up with the OP. All the rest of you took the bait. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/119 "2019-06-16T14:14:49Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > Once upon a time, there were people who would come onto your property without your permission, and collect information regarding your living habits. It didn’t matter whether you wanted them there or not. And it did no good to complain to the police, because–believe it or not–these nefarious activities were sanctioned by the local government. > > Those creepy people were called “meter readers.” I really fail to see the relevance of this. Are you saying that because there are some people who have a legitimate reason to enter your property without your permission, everyone should be able to do that? If you see a stranger in your back yard, looking through your stuff, you just shrug and let him go on with his business? ---
**Author:** ![LiveFree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@LiveFree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveFree)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2019, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515/120 "2019-06-16T14:44:36Z")
> [@BeeGee](#): > > So this old lady who didn’t give you her name or address reacts to your creepy behaviour by asking for your info so that she can send you some scrolling thank you meme that you can share with a bunch of other strangers to prove that you’re really a great person? > > And the fact that you’re invading this woman’s privacy doesn’t matter because she’s not married and in her late fifties? That attitude shows me you’re not really telling this little tale\* for any reason other than to show off your detective skills rather than lay claim to any humanitarian effort. And my dusty old lady hackles are pretty creeped out by this. News flash, little boy: stalkers don’t confine themselves to pretty girls. Even old broads like me are wise to watch our step. > > \*tale, noun: a story. See also fairy. Where did you come up with the idea that she sent me the scrolling thank you. She genuinely thanked me in person. And thank you for the little boy comment. I do look younger than my middle aged body. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-did-a-nice-gesture-well-see-if-its-appreciated-or-not/835515.md?page=7)