# I didn't expect THAT! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 20, 2009, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115 "2009-05-20T21:50:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/1 "2009-05-20T21:50:11Z")
The “Gym Annoyances” thread reminded me of an encounter I had last week. I used to live in an apartment building, and my neighbor was this 50-something Jewish lawyer. He lived alone, since his wife had passed away and kids were grown up and living elsewhere. I’d frequently walk with him to the nearby train station for our daily commute to NY. I eventually moved away, but still commute from the same train station. I probably see him 5 times a month or so, and we always exchange some small talk. There was never anything weird or different about him, and for lack of a better description, he was about as typical looking of a middle aged professional Jewish lawyer as one might imagine. About a month ago, I saw him at my gym. He mentioned that he had just joined. Last week, after I was finished with my workout, I entered the locker room. I was making my way to the wash area, sort of looking down, when I saw a pair of hairy legs sitting on a bench with an exposed penis. What was peculiar about this penis was that something resembling a metal bolt went completely through the glans. My view of this penis probably lasted a tenth of a second, since I instinctively looked up. And guess whose face was smiling right back at me. I then pretended that I didn’t see what I saw and quickly said hi and walked right past him. He didn’t even try to hide it, so I’m guessing he didn’t care. While washing up, I wondered whether he had any difficulty urinating since the bolt appeared to go straight through the middle. I can’t imagine how it _wouldn’t_ affect his urethra. But I haven’t seen him since. I was certainly shocked. Please share similar encounters. ---
**Author:** ![Kalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/df705f/32.png) [@Kalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalypso)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/2 "2009-05-20T22:01:59Z")
I went to a party recently of some acquaintances that I’d only known online. We’d only talked about geeky things so I was looking forward to being with a big group of techy geeky people. The party was tons of fun, and as the night wore on it became very clear that a sizable portion of the attendees were polyamorous and knew each other quite well. It was a pleasant surprise, but I certainly wasn’t expecting it. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2009, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/3 "2009-05-20T22:11:28Z")
NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/4 "2009-05-21T01:08:58Z")
Ha, nobody expects… _looks up_ Never mind, **Carrot** said it first. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2009, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/5 "2009-05-21T20:46:51Z")
NO ONE…what? oh, wait a minute…carry on. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/6 "2009-05-22T01:28:39Z")
What was it, a piercing? ---
**Author:** ![Incensed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Incensed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incensed)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/7 "2009-05-22T03:03:14Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > What was it, a piercing? Shrapnel. ---
**Author:** ![urban1a](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e47c2d/32.png) [@urban1a](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/urban1a)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/8 "2009-05-22T03:08:52Z")
I’ll bet he was uncut. Bob ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/9 "2009-05-22T07:17:27Z")
Maybe he had sex with a cheap hookerbot and got a nasty STD from it. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/10 "2009-05-22T09:35:17Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > What was peculiar about this penis was that something resembling a metal bolt went completely through the glans. A piercing like that (usually a ring) is called a Prince Albert, and isn’t as uncommon as you think. And if it’s done right, doesn’t interfere with any function. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/11 "2009-05-22T12:11:24Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > A piercing like that (usually a ring) is called a Prince Albert, and isn’t as uncommon as you think. And if it’s done right, doesn’t interfere with any function. Yeah, unless you take it out to clean it and forget to put it back in before you pee in the morning. Then you pee in 3 directions. ---
**Author:** ![firstname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ab992/32.png) [@firstname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/firstname)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/12 "2009-05-22T12:39:48Z")
> [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](#): > > Yeah, unless you take it out to clean it and forget to put it back in before you pee in the morning. Then you pee in 3 directions. Now THAT’S a hell of a party trick. ---
**Author:** ![motomoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a9adbd/32.png) [@motomoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/motomoon)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/13 "2009-05-22T13:09:34Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > A piercing like that (usually a ring) is called a Prince Albert, and isn’t as uncommon as you think. And if it’s done right, doesn’t interfere with any function. It could also be an Ampallang or Apadravya, links broken (NSFW; male genital pictures) http: // [Ampallang - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ampallang) http: // [Apadravya - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apadravya) Prince Alberts are fun, have had one for 11 years. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/14 "2009-05-22T13:14:25Z")
I didn’t expect a Monty Python reference. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/15 "2009-05-22T13:56:15Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > I didn’t expect a Monty Python reference. You don’t get on the internet much, do you? ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/16 "2009-05-22T15:15:41Z")
> [@motomoon](#): > > …http: // [Apadravya - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apadravya)… That was it, except bigger and blingier. ---
**Author:** ![maladroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@maladroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maladroit)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-expect-that/497115/17 "2009-05-22T20:46:13Z")
the wiki apadravya article contains the word ‘meatotomised’ - shiver - still at work so I declined to click that link, but boy am I curious now oh jeebus I googled it minus images