# I didn't get what I paid for! Or, that was \*not\* a burrito! (lame rant) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 6, 2004, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985 "2004-01-06T12:22:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/1 "2004-01-06T12:22:20Z")
I have been a lot hungrier than usual lately (i think it’s due to the growth spurt the testosterone is giving me) so I’m more frequently starting to find myself in need of a snack between meals whilst out and about on the town. Until recently, I’ve been giving in to the junk food craving and getting McDonalds or KFC. However, as a new year’s resolution, I decided to go healthy. No snacking on junk. Snacks are ok, but they must comprise something of nutritional value. So, when on Monday afternoon I found myself in a shopping centre, in need of mid-afternoon sustenance, I had a prime opportunity to seek new snack foods. I walked resolutely past McDs, and KFC, Subway was closed, and the noodle shop too expensive. My eyes kept wandering… and finally hit on a shop called “Sinbad’s Kebabs and Mexican”. My mind ticked over. Mexican… Mexican involves beans and salad! Beans and salad and tortillas! And those things are all healthy. Sure, there’s a little cheese, but that’s just protein. And if I don’t get the nachos, there won’t be any sour cream to worry about. Mexican got a mental “tick” for nutritional value. Now, I live in Australia. So, I know that Mexican food here isn’t going to be to quite the same standard as I experienced when I went to the USA/New Mexico. But there are reasonably good Mexican restaurants here. The makings of standard dishes are easily available in Supermarkets. Hell, I do Mexican at home fairly regularly. When I ordered a burrito, I had something specific in mind. The burrito was the most expensive thing on the menu. More expensive than Tacos, Nachos, all the kebabs. Burritos I have experienced in the past, involve a tortilla rolled up with the filling (beans/beef/chicken, salsa, cheese, salad) on the inside. This seems to be a fairly standard Australian burrito. So, when I got my Burrito, which cost six f\*cking dollars fifty, and took them 10 minutes to provide (unlike the kebabs I’ve had there previously which are pretty much instant), I was somewhat disappointed to discover that _it wasn’t that kind of burrito_. This burrito was a tortilla, with some beans (no salsa) inside, which had been folded over once, put on a plastic plate, covered with handfuls of cheese, and microwaved within an inch of its life (until it was soggy, in other words). Some tomato ketchup (I saw the bottle) was then squirted over the top, and lettuce and tomato were served on the side. The squishy mess was served to me with a surly “enjoy your meal”. Being hungry and desperate (and having just spent all my cash on the damn thing), I ate it anyway. Wish they’d given me a spoon or something, it would have aided in getting it off the plate. But that _thing_ was _not_ a burrito. It was a slander on the concept of a burrito, and anathema to everything a burrito should be. Thanks for making me really crave something and then not giving it to me, Sinbad. Thanks for almost completely destroying my desire to snack healthily. Next time, I will find it immesurably harder to walk past KFC. When is Australia going to manage to do decent ethnic takeaway food that isn’t Thai? :smack: When is a burrito not a burrito? When it’s a soggy enchilada in disguise :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/2 "2004-01-06T13:45:25Z")
I feel your pain. There’s nothing like getting your mouth all ready for a treat and not getting what you hoped for. I hear KFC has grilled chicken now, maybe next time? Good luck ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/3 "2004-01-06T13:58:28Z")
Thanks, Elret 🙂 No grilled chicken over here, just the usual fried stuff. Mmm, fries dipped in potato and gravy. Oo yeah, I can feel those carbos turning into a beer gut. Or even better - a double quarter pounder. I can just imagine the feeling of the grease trickling down my chin. See, those things _would_ be real treats. Why, why must deep fried food, covered with lashings of salt, be so cheaply and quickly available everywhere? And why can’t I get decent reasonably healthy take-away snack food? ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/4 "2004-01-06T14:49:12Z")
Sounds like a good day if that’s the worst that happened. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/5 "2004-01-06T14:56:39Z")
I feel your pain, **phraser**. I’m mildly hypoglycemic, and I can start feeling pretty sick if I let myself get too hungry. When out and about and not able to get something proper to eat, the fast food that’s available here is about the same level as yours. I often end up eating “Mexican” too - a nice hard-shelled taco with steamed, seasoned hamburger, lettuce, tomato and cheese fits the bill. Of course, once I get old and have to reduce my salt consumption, I’m gonna be in big trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/6 "2004-01-06T15:00:14Z")
> [@](#): > > Some tomato ketchup :eek: On a burrito?!? ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/7 "2004-01-06T15:02:16Z")
I feel your pain too … no decent burritos here in Ireland either. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/8 "2004-01-06T15:04:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Munch \* > \*\*:eek: > > On a burrito?!? \*\* You think that’s bad? In one of my (Britain-published) cookbooks there’s a taco recipe that calls for _baked_ beans :eek: ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/9 "2004-01-06T15:11:49Z")
**county** that wasn’t the worst that happened, but most of the rest of it was at least stuff that I had expected to go wrong. Basically: [ul] [li]I am supposed to be moving 2500km this weekend. The rental agent in the town I am moving to have been screwing me around for the last month so I don’t have anywhere to actually move _to_ yet. [/li][li]My house-sitter, who is supposed to be caring for my cat/plants/house until i have stuff set up in my new place, rang and cancelled. I now have 5 days to find a new sitter.[/li][li]I have to try and fit my whole life into ten boxes, because that’s all the removal company have room for in the shipment that’s going to where I’m moving to.[/li][li]The stereo in my car died suddenly and completely. Seeing as I’m about to undertake a two day drive completely alone, the timing wasn’t good, and I had to shell out megabucks to replace it so that I wouldn’t go stark raving mad.[/li][li]I am a man, and I have a [vaginal yeast infection](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=233201&postid=4434550).[/li][/ul] Y’know, it never occurred to me to pit the rest of this stuff. I’m pretty mild-mannered, I think this might actually be my first ever pitting. But the burrito on top of it all… IT WAS THE LAST F\*CKING STRAW!! ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/10 "2004-01-06T15:23:17Z")
> [@](#): > > _Munch said_ > :eek: > On a burrito?!? Dude, I could not believe my eyes. Still, what more would you expect from a place where, in parts of the country at least, a “cappucino” used to consist of a cup of Nescafe topped with boiled milk whisked up to froth in a little churn thing… or worse still, topped with whipped cream from an aerosol can :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/11 "2004-01-06T15:58:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ruadh \* > \*\*In one of my (Britain-published) cookbooks there’s a taco recipe that calls for _baked_ beans :eek: \*\* Okay, that’s just wrong. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/12 "2004-01-06T16:09:39Z")
Ketchup? BAKED BEANS??? Good God. I’ll think of you in a couple of days when I’m in San Antonio…yum, Tex-Mex! The real thing! ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/13 "2004-01-06T16:37:48Z")
In London I once had “nachos” - Doritos, canned tomatoes, and processed cheese. I still have nightmares. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/14 "2004-01-06T16:45:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by phraser \* > \*\*This burrito was a tortilla, with some beans (no salsa) inside, which had been folded over once, put on a plastic plate, covered with handfuls of cheese, and microwaved within an inch of its life (until it was soggy, in other words). Some tomato ketchup (I saw the bottle) was then squirted over the top, and lettuce and tomato were served on the side. > \*\* What? WHAT? They called THAT a burrito? :eek: :eek: :eek: If I knew more Spanish, I’d find that place and fill it with profanities. That drek does not even deserve to look at a burrito. ---
**Author:** ![TommyTutone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@TommyTutone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TommyTutone)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/15 "2004-01-06T17:06:47Z")
I’m not trying to sound racist here (usually a precursor to something that will draw a lot of ire), but you kinda had it coming to you. I mean, going to ‘Sinbad’s House of Kebabs and Mexican’ is not much different than going to ‘China Moon’s Authentic Chinese and Fondue’. My condolences nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2004, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/16 "2004-01-07T09:24:16Z")
**LlamaPoet** , I’m in Australia… The best Thai food I ever ate came from a restaurant called MaiTai. The best Chinese I ever ate came from Mama Vittoria’s Cafe. With those contrasts, I guess “Sinbad’s Kebab’s and Mexican” didn’t sound so scary. > [@](#): > > China Moon’s Authentic Chinese and Fondue Perhaps a little long for a band name, but it would make a great album title! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2004, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/17 "2004-01-07T10:38:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Munch \* > \*\*:eek: > > On a burrito?!? \*\* What he said. And a 😕 as well. Today, I will probably go to one of my favorite Mexican restaurants around here. It’s run by a family of Mexican immigrants, using Mama’s recipes. Mama has pretty much retired from the kitchen, except that she still makes the daily batch of pralines. I try to go to this restaurant on Wednesdays because they have live musicians in the evening, who will play a mix of Mexican folk songs and American country and western, with a few pop tunes done by request. I will eat a pork tamale covered in chili sauce, a cheese enchilada covered in cheese sauce, and rice and beans. And some tortilla chips and a bit of salsa. And I will drink my Mexican beer, and think of you. ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2004, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/18 "2004-01-07T10:50:53Z")
> [@](#): > > _Lynn Bodoni said_: > And I will drink my Mexican beer, and think of you. That’s not fair. Now I am _salivating_ on the keyboard. All i want is a nice bean burrito, and maybe a chicken quesadilla as well. Oh, and a Dos Eques. Mm. DAMN you for making me feel this way when all there is in the house is frozen peas, instant coffee and half a bag of shortbread ☹ Enjoy your meal, and imagine my wounded eyes staring at you up off the plate. ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2004, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/19 "2004-01-07T10:52:15Z")
I havn’t been able to get a good burrito since Don Carlos closed. In fact, I havn’t been able to get good mexican food period. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2004, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985/20 "2004-01-07T11:16:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by phraser \* > \*\*That’s not fair. Now I am _salivating_ on the keyboard. > > All i want is a nice bean burrito, and maybe a chicken quesadilla as well. Oh, and a Dos Eques. Mm. > > DAMN you for making me feel this way when all there is in the house is frozen peas, instant coffee and half a bag of shortbread ☹ > > Enjoy your meal, and imagine my wounded eyes staring at you up off the plate. \*\* My day is not complete unless someone has damned me. Thank you. It’s about 5:20 AM here, so I have a good start on the day. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-get-what-i-paid-for-or-that-was-not-a-burrito-lame-rant/222985.md?page=2)