# "I didn't pay for First Class just to sit next to a dead body!" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 20, 2007, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661 "2007-03-20T02:28:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/61 "2007-03-21T07:27:47Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] People piss and shit themselves when they die. [/QUOTE] All? Immediately? I’m thinking not always. But carrion. Heh. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/62 "2007-03-21T11:58:49Z")
[QUOTE=Quiddity Glomfuster] All? Immediately? I’m thinking not always. But carrion. Heh. [/QUOTE] Carrion Luggage? They shouldn’t allow carrion luggage. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/63 "2007-03-21T13:26:41Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] They don’t allow drunks on planes. Corpses yes, pissheads no :eek: Life altering situation? :dubious: was that intended ? [/QUOTE] Given your location, you may try taking a flight to Majorca. How do you know which one is the stag? He’s the one who’s still not drunk. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/64 "2007-03-21T14:52:50Z")
That particular bit of carrion luggage definitely _won’t_ fit in the overhead compartment. Don’t even try, man. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/65 "2007-03-21T15:11:49Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] Frankly, I don’t see the big deal here. People die. Everybody dies. One day, you, too, will be a cadaver. When that happens, you are not an unclean thing. You are just a dead body. I would not have complained at all had it been me in the neighboring seat. Things happen, and the least we can do is treat the departed, and by extension her relations, with decency and respect, not revulsion. Plus I can lower her seat tray and spread out my knitting. [/QUOTE] Well, give a dead body a bit of time, and it will probably become an unclean thing, but that would depend on stuff like when she last ate. I’d be a bit wigged out, but if the body wasn’t, like, RIGHT next to me, I could probably deal with it. Do airliners still have those little bottles of whiskey? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/66 "2007-03-21T16:04:14Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] That particular bit of carrion luggage definitely _won’t_ fit in the overhead compartment. Don’t even try, man. [/QUOTE] Once at Heathrow, how much should you tip the Skycap? Would a ring or two do it? When getting her out of the airport, would a [Black Cab](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b5/Hackney_carriage.jpg/250px-Hackney_carriage.jpg) be appropriate? I’ve often heard that its faster to get around London by train than by cab, but I could see someone having a hell of a time dragging a corpse through the tubes. Plus, I’m not even sure which mortuary is closest to a train station, or even if they accept walk-in business… ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/67 "2007-03-21T16:16:20Z")
I think they’re opening a branch of EasyDeath at Terminal 4. It’s great if you don’t mind the orange coffins. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/68 "2007-03-21T16:39:25Z")
[QUOTE=Usram] I think they’re opening a branch of EasyDeath at Terminal 4. It’s great if you don’t mind the orange coffins. [/QUOTE] I doubt she’d even notice. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/69 "2007-03-21T18:14:44Z")
[QUOTE=Siam Sam] Nah, the long-distance international flights still give you food and drink. I’m just woried I’d get drunk and start hitting up on her. [/QUOTE] “Hey, baby, why so stiff? I like a quiet girl but come _on_.” [sub]sorry[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/70 "2007-03-21T18:28:02Z")
Cue “Cold Cold Heart.” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/71 "2007-03-21T18:30:45Z")
Wait a second. Did Granny get her frequent flyer points or what? I gots to know. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/72 "2007-03-21T21:15:33Z")
[QUOTE=asterion] I see an advertising campaign. “British Airways: People are dying to fly us first class.” [/QUOTE] I see an advertising campaign - [Literally.](http://img54.imageshack.us/img54/7527/thedeadoz5.jpg) Coincidence or is Netflix capitalizing :dubious: ? ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2007, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/73 "2007-03-28T23:16:45Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Thing is, there probably _are_ people who would pay extra to sit next to a dead body; even if there is only one person out of five hundred that feels this way, the chances are quite good that at least one of them would be on the plane. The airline could have solved this problem quickly and easily, not only that, but they could have turned it into a profit centre. [/QUOTE] You may be right about the percentage of people will pay to sit next to a dead body. The percentage of people who’ll admit it? A whole other story. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2007, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/74 "2007-03-29T15:09:08Z")
Stewardess: “May I offer you a beverage?” Man in 3c: “Gin and tonic” Woman in 3b: “Diet Sprite, please” Corpse in 3a: “Brrrraaaaiiiinnnnssss” ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2007, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/75 "2007-03-29T17:59:38Z")
[QUOTE=Count Blucher] They could get [Robert Morley](http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/a/a7/180px-R_Morley.jpg) to do the ad campaign. “We’ll Take Good Care Of You…!” [/QUOTE] Nice reference. My first thought on hearing the name was the movie [The Loved One](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059410/). ---
**Author:** ![wisernow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@wisernow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wisernow)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2007, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/76 "2007-03-29T22:01:10Z")
Wait a second now! We all know the corpse had a daughter. Then how come the co-passenger for the mum corpse(pun not intended) was some other passenger and not the daughter? I am sure the seats in first class are all window or aisle. The passengers could have been asked to switch seats in such a manner as to give up a window side pair, of which the window seat could have gone to the corpse and the aisle seat to the daughter! Simple! Am I missing something? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2007, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/77 "2007-03-30T01:51:01Z")
[QUOTE=wisernow] Wait a second now! We all know the corpse had a daughter. Then how come the co-passenger for the mum corpse(pun not intended) was some other passenger and not the daughter? I am sure the seats in first class are all window or aisle. The passengers could have been asked to switch seats in such a manner as to give up a window side pair, of which the window seat could have gone to the corpse and the aisle seat to the daughter! Simple! Am I missing something? 😕 [/QUOTE] Well, as it was, the guy was actually a few seats away from the corpse, but that just wasn’t what he was expecting to see when he woke up. And I don’t recall what kind of airplane it was, but on the wide-body airliners, I’m pretty sure even first class has “Bitch seats”, as we called them on long road trips, seats located between other seats. That said, when your seat is as big as some peoples’ easy chairs, that doesn’t seem like quite as much of a problem. ---
**Author:** ![wisernow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@wisernow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wisernow)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2007, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/78 "2007-03-30T17:31:40Z")
[QUOTE=Raguleader] I don’t recall what kind of airplane it was, but on the wide-body airliners, I’m pretty sure even first class has “Bitch seats”, as we called them on long road trips, seats located between other seats. [/QUOTE] It was a Boeing, perhaps a 747. That is what British Airways operates on its flights from India. I checked the seating arrangements for Boeings, and none have more than 2 seats together in the First Class. Business Class, yes, but not First Class. I think that is true for Airbus carriers also. [QUOTE=Raguleader] Well, as it was, the guy was actually a few seats away from the corpse, but that just wasn’t what he was expecting to see when he woke up. [/QUOTE] If he was a “few” seats away, so must have been others too. How come then he is the only one who is making all that noise unless the corpse was put right _next_ to him? In which case my question - why was the daughter not next to the corpse? What was she doing mourning “away” from the corpse? ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2007, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/79 "2007-03-30T17:47:33Z")
[QUOTE=Scubaqueen] you people are very sick, twisted puppies. i just want to make that very clear. more! more! [/QUOTE] “Stewardess, this passenger is dead!” “No she not, she’s just sleeping.” "“I’m telling you she’s dead.” Holds up womans arm which stays up by itself. "She’s passed on, she’s shuffled off the mortal coil… Coming soon “Weekend at Bernie’s 3: Vacation with Bernie” ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2007, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661/80 "2007-03-30T18:30:27Z")
[QUOTE=wisernow] It was a Boeing, perhaps a 747. That is what British Airways operates on its flights from India. I checked the seating arrangements for Boeings, and none have more than 2 seats together in the First Class. Business Class, yes, but not First Class. I think that is true for Airbus carriers also. [/QUOTE] Cool, I did not know that. I see first class seating in a 747 about as often as I see hundred dollar bills and the inside of a Shelby Mustang. 😃 > [@](#): > > If he was a “few” seats away, so must have been others too. How come then he is the only one who is making all that noise unless the corpse was put right _next_ to him? In which case my question - why was the daughter not next to the corpse? What was she doing mourning “away” from the corpse? Well, it’s entirely possible that it just bothered him a lot more than it did any of the other passengers a few seats away. People are funny how they don’t all react exactly the same to things. IIRC, he was asleep when she was moved there, so that no doubt added to his distress when he saw the dead lady nearby when he woke up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-pay-for-first-class-just-to-sit-next-to-a-dead-body/396661.md?page=5)