# I didn't want ranch! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 29, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240 "2004-11-29T23:59:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/1 "2004-11-29T23:59:28Z")
Lame alert, but I’m pissed. This is the second time I’ve gotten a carry out salad and they gave me ranch dressing instead of italian. Do they just assume everyone likes ranch so it’s ok to give it out even if it’s not asked for? It’s sad how that stuff has dominated over other, better tasting salad dressings. I can never find creamy italian or creamy garlic at restaurants anymore. If I ask, I always hear, “No, but we have ranch”. SO WHAT! RANCH SUCKS!!! ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/2 "2004-11-30T00:08:44Z")
But it is not my first choice either. But Ranch is the most popular salad dressing in the US. Did they ask you what you wanted and they got it wrong? BTW…my fav is catalina. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/3 "2004-11-30T00:14:44Z")
Pshaw. Ranch is just the poor, illiterate cousin of blue cheese. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/4 "2004-11-30T00:17:04Z")
I blame Cool Ranch Doritos. ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/5 "2004-11-30T00:37:36Z")
> [@odinoneeye](#): > > RANCH SUCKS!!! This is correct. In addition, Italian is da bomb. For reasons I cannot fathom, most local restaurants (including the one at which I currently work) are beginning to stock only Fat-Free Italian, phasing out the real stuff in favor of carrying more varieties of Ranch. The place where I work now has Ranch, Jalapeno Ranch, BBQ Ranch (Ranch with barbecue sauce in it, which sucks more than I would have thought it possible for a salad dressing to suck), and Tex Mex (Jalapeno Ranch with salsa in it, which sucks quite a bit, though not as much as BBQ Ranch). It has been my experience that people do not want bizarre varieties of Ranch,\* nor do they want Fat-Free Italian. They do want Fat-Free Ranch and regular Italian, but good luck convincing the corporations of this (HINT: complaining to your server, and declining to speak to a manager when your server suggests that you do so, is not an effective strategy). I can only conclude that the logic behind this decision is based upon the same algorithm that led to steakhouses placing barbecue sauce, which nobody ever uses, on the tables for easy access, and leaving the servers to fetch A1 approximately 100% of the time. Meanwhile, those same steakhouses have ketchup on the tables, whereas sandwich-based restaurants that serve up hamburgers and fries by the truckload unilaterally do not. I’m sure all this makes sense to someone, but that someone is not me. \*They do, for some reason, want regular Ranch, but this issue is best left to the paranormalists. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/6 "2004-11-30T00:42:36Z")
Regardless of opinions on this board… Ranch is still the most popular salad dressing. But then most people voted for dubya. Is there a connection? ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/7 "2004-11-30T00:43:37Z")
I like ranch, and I also like regular Italian. Not on the same salad, though. What I can’t understand is all of these “Italian” restaurants that have some weird oil, vinegar, and TOMATO salad dressings. No, no, I just want the oil & vinegar & seasonings…the tomato juice is just WRONG. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/8 "2004-11-30T00:51:28Z")
Sorry guys, but when I complete my takeover of the world, the only white dressing allowed will be blue cheese. There have been far to many times when the idiot filling the salad bar put the Ranch under the Blue cheese name plate, or the server puts a plate of that thin-wussy crap in front of me thinking she had gotten the one with the good stuff. And not to mention the wing places that assume you want ranch. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/9 "2004-11-30T00:53:32Z")
Ranch is evil. (Except for the kids only stuff, like Taco Ranch and Pizza Ranch.) Other than that, Italian, Creamy Italian, Sweet Italian, Caesar, Sweet and Sour and Honey Dijon are preferred) ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/10 "2004-11-30T01:07:47Z")
> [@](#): > > Ranch is still the most popular salad dressing. > > But then most people voted for dubya. > > Is there a connection? Holy crap. Is there _any_ subject that can long stand unmolested by politicization on this board? My head asplodes! (and btw, honey mustard is clearly the superior dressing). ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/11 "2004-11-30T01:24:45Z")
Am I the last person on Earth who likes 1,000 Island? ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/12 "2004-11-30T01:27:51Z")
> [@](#): > > Am I the last person on Earth who likes 1,000 Island? Yes. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/13 "2004-11-30T01:28:37Z")
Then that explains why nobody has it anymore. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/14 "2004-11-30T01:47:16Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Am I the last person on Earth who likes 1,000 Island? No. I also like French and Catalina. I like the sweet dressings. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/15 "2004-11-30T01:49:38Z")
Ranch dressing is just spoiled milk, and not even good spoiled milk like sour cream or cheese eventually. Ranch is the Brittany Spears of salad dressings. ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/16 "2004-11-30T02:00:37Z")
_Sigh_…have they gotten to you, too, **yBeayf**? Honey Mustard, you see, is not actually a salad dressing, but a condiment. Its primary use is for chicken, especially in the “tender” form, but it works equally well for any other poultry or, in a pinch and in the absence of ketchup, for the dipping of french fries. Ditto for French. If I wanted ketchup on my salad, I’d put it there, thank you. Thousand Island is acceptable, though I have a personal distate for the entire line of mayonnaise-based dressings. Still, I remain true to my original position that Italian is da bomb. If Italian is not available, I will instead opt for a Caesar salad, which is tasty, but is only a “salad” in the same sense that Honey Mustard is a dressing. (By the way, if anybody is wondering why I capitalize the names of salad dressings, I blame far too much time spent working in restaurants.) ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/17 "2004-11-30T02:10:26Z")
Ranch is good as a flavoring for Doritos (Cooler Ranch is the only true Dorito) and as a dipping sauce for wings if bleu cheese is not available but is otherwise the fermented semen of Satan himself. I can’t stand the stuff. Bleh. Bleu Cheese, Caesar, and Catalina, in that order. A homemade balsalmic vinagrette is good too but I prefer the creamy dressings. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/18 "2004-11-30T02:27:46Z")
Ponderosa had the BEST french dressing evah! Tangy, tart, thick - yum! Wishbone has a western dressing (french) that’s pretty good, and the expensive ones in the jars are decent, too. But that’s interesting you’re getting ranch when you ask for italian - I get it when I ask for french. Perhaps it is the default. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/19 "2004-11-30T03:01:21Z")
> [@](#): > > If Italian is not available, I will instead opt for a Caesar salad, which is tasty, but is only a “salad” in the same sense that Honey Mustard is a dressing. I daresay that Caesar is an acceptable substitute for honey mustard, but only if it is made properly, with no lack of anchovies. I also do fine with plain oil and balsamic vinegar or lemon juice, but something about commercial Italian dressing I don’t like. It has to me a somewhat slimy mouthfeel. And honey mustard is nothing like ketchup, that foul sugary acidic abomination. I do agree, though, that honeyed paste of mustard goes well on fried chicken and fries; indeed, there is little it doesn’t go well on. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240/20 "2004-11-30T03:03:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Bleu Cheese, Caesar, and Catalina, in that order. A homemade balsalmic vinagrette is good too but I prefer the creamy dressings. Bah. Bleu cheese is good for one thing, and one thing only: chugging from a pitcher after consuming several dozen atomic wings at the local Wingstop. Nothing else soothes esophagal chemical burns like it does. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-didnt-want-ranch/277240.md?page=2)