# I do not like peas in my rice. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 13, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-peas-in-my-rice/244982 "2004-05-13T18:03:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-peas-in-my-rice/244982/41 "2004-05-15T14:04:54Z")
Now there’s a thought that’s purely vice Our friend Lieu on Heidi Fleiss Eve can eat her friend named Fanny Me, I’d rather do the Nanny Thinking sex all day and nite Is workin’ up my appetite It won’t be rice, it won’t be peas Steak n eggs for breakfast, please ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-peas-in-my-rice/244982/42 "2004-05-15T16:22:57Z")
I tell the tale of old Doc Atkins In carbs his diet was sorely lackins He would not eat peas and rice. Even peas were hardly nice. No ice cream. No potatoes. He would eat meat & tomatoes. Car’bs are a very nasty vice. One day Doc Atkins slipped on the ice. He slipped and cracked his little head And old Doc Atkins was declared dead. He went to meet his final fate. He thought he’d reached the pearly gate. Instead the fire made him choke. He asked them for a diet Coke. Instead he was given a beer. He told them “Get me out of here. I want unsweetened, cold ice tea. Cause carbs would be the death of me.” They said he could have his wishes And prepared a table with many dishes. As Doc Atkins uncovered the first dish. he thought “Please let it be some fish.” There was no fish (not even a shell). This wasn’t heaven. It was hell. Instead of a juicy, rare beef roast, There was a plate of well done toast. And old Doc Atkins began to scream. When he uncovered a dish of ice cream. Yes, old Doc Atkins began to bellow "I want a dish of diet Jello. There’s nothing here that I eat. You’ve even ruined all the meat! There’s raisin sauce upon the ham, And mint jelly glaze upon the lamb. The steak is mixed up with potatoes. There’s cornmeal breading on the tomatoes. Old Doc Atkins was feeling bereft. And there were only two dishes left. Old Doc Atkins said "Pretty please. I am getting down on my knees. I want a simple piece of cheese. He uncovered the plate–rice and peas. “Well, I don’t think that’s very nice. You know I think carbs are a vice. Please do not do that to me twice.” On the second plate–peas and rice. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-peas-in-my-rice/244982/43 "2004-05-15T20:17:32Z")
I used to run fast down the halls for rice with green peas made in balls Italian treats for hungry tums Made fresh for me by someone’s mum. These balls were most supremely fine No pea was shucked if past it’s prime. The rice was firm and not too gooshy A mouthful warm and not too mushy. Our peas had gone to meet their maker Not a butcher or a baker They were immersed in cooking pyre The tasty greasy deepest fryer. Ablaze with breadcrumbs, bits of cheese The rice commingled with the peas Like co-eds heated at the dance Unable to restrain their pants Each wrinkled greenish ball of flavor Rolling on the tongue well savored. I’d borrow deep and far and wide So proud of peas, I loved them fried In balls of rice with paprika dashed We loved those balls, and were aghast If they ran short at dinner time These peas and rice balls, Oh So Fine… Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-peas-in-my-rice/244982/44 "2004-05-16T00:35:30Z")
There once was a doper named **Eve** , Who said “Rice mixed with peas makes me heave! If I go to a place, That sticks that dish in my face, I’ll get up, storm out, and leave!” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-peas-in-my-rice/244982/45 "2004-05-16T02:25:17Z")
So **Eve** walks into a restaurant and says “Take my rice, peas!” Eating them together just isn’t her wont, so she turns around and flees. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-peas-in-my-rice/244982/46 "2004-05-17T19:05:01Z")
I’ve read this thread and how it goes. I like to put peas up my nose Then lean my head back and sneeze real hard And shoot them into my neighbor’s yard! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-peas-in-my-rice/244982/47 "2004-05-17T19:12:16Z")
**Clothahump** your post made me laugh real hard. Your sneezing peas into your neighbor’s yard. But what memories that post brings Of Dopers and their wedding rings! ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-peas-in-my-rice/244982/48 "2004-05-17T19:59:11Z")
I suppose, with enough velocity, Peas could go into the next city. But mush would be all left of those peas Would be disgusting mush. Geez! ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-peas-in-my-rice/244982/49 "2004-05-17T22:28:27Z")
Gosh I wish I had good timing, And indeed mad skills at rhyming, But even delicate tatonnement, Will not create rapprochement, Between me and the universe of rhyme, meter, and verse. So let me say, With no delay, Hey! Eat your fuckin’ peas! ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-peas-in-my-rice/244982/50 "2004-05-18T12:14:47Z")
What can I rhyme with Threadspotting? Rhymezone’s suggestion is blood clotting. Which fits with our pea sneeze, but nasal, see? I have an american angelica tree. Wow, Eve, [rhymezone.com](http://rhymezone.com) has really weird suggestions. American angelica tree never would have come to my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-peas-in-my-rice/244982/51 "2004-05-18T17:44:21Z")
Peas in rice I can take or leave But I’ve a co-worker who’s not so keen Like our Eve, my friend hates peas. Why should this be my concern? Sometimes we eat communially. Ordering is so convoluted From the restaurant we may be booted. Even then I’d hold my lip But the boy just won’t tip. I’d leave him in peace about his peas If he’d leave more than a dime with the fee. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-peas-in-my-rice/244982/52 "2004-05-18T19:27:57Z")
**Marlitharn** ’s call for whirled peas reminds me the needs demanded by patients “under the knife” of the nurse who is my wife When asked, “Do you have reaction allergies?” they respond, “Why yes, to peas” She asks what happens when they consume them, and then they say, with puzzled brow, “I don’t know, I don’t like them anyhow” So no medical cause for alarm the patient will not buy the farm but I hear these stories and hope the patients are better with their estimations of further ailments and inflamations If not I fear their vanity or sanity has intruded upon reality and similarly… A gourmet dish abides with food of all colors and flavors ready to be savored not a place for a gustatory feud So I say, the rice is meant to be combined with meats and vegetables of all kinds The white rice must just appease and recognize all our greater needs instead of striving for hurled peas [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-peas-in-my-rice/244982.md?page=2)