# I do not like the wilderness **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2024, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483 "2024-04-19T01:12:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/1 "2024-04-19T01:12:45Z")
I have less then zero interest in camping out in the woods filled with nasty snarling rabbits and spiders. I might feel comfortable if I had 360 degree infra-red lighting and night vision cameras set up and a mounted machine gun. My lot is surrounded by woods and brush on 2 sides. I do not go beyond my lights. By the way, I have 16 outdoor lights in a variety of configurations: motion sensing, dusk-to-dawn, remote control, etc. If I hit the “All lights on” switch I can probably be seen from low Earth orbit. A number of years ago I got a golf cart to use on my huge 1/2 acre property because of my failing knees. I wish I had a bigger lot as it is fun to drive and I would love to cruise down to a lake or whatever. But I have blazed a loop in the woods. When I first got the golf cart it had no roof. It was OK to drive but felt exposed at night. What a difference when I got a roof on it! Cruising the path at night with my blazing LED headlights feels snug and safe. It probably couldn’t outrun a rabid dog but that don’t matter. Funny how little things change your attitude. Yeah, yeah, go ahead and make fun of me. Boo! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/2 "2024-04-19T01:23:38Z")
Oh, you!! You wouldn’t make it down here. The kudzu and critters often come a bit too nearish. Kudzu may actually come “to the light” we’ve had it running up poles the security light are on. Camping is not desirable to me either, I have to say. It’s not the wilderness except when you gotta relieve yourself.(No not gonna deal with flimsy foldaway toilets and their contents. Nope. Not gonna!) What I don’t like is a lack of my bed, mostly. I’ve come to enjoy it so. You ride your covered golf cart and enjoy your acreage. I’m with you. ☺. High ho silver and away! ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/3 "2024-04-19T01:24:43Z")
There’s a podcast that I enjoy. One of the regulars referred to himself as an “avid _in_doorsman.” I laughed. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/4 "2024-04-19T01:36:25Z")
The bugs are coming soon! Lots and lots of bugs, of all kinds, crawling all over everywhere. And you can’t get them out of your tent, sleeping bag, or hair. What’s that on your shoulder? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/5 "2024-04-19T01:50:20Z")
The bugs are Here!! I just had one those extra large light beetles fly in the door. It landed on the bar still behind a grandkid. Who immediately started screaming. Me being Nana who could save them, grabbed it. I kinda got squeamish when I felt it’s little legs flailing in my palm. I tried to throw it out the door and it stuck to me for a second or two. I nearly gagged. 😱 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/6 "2024-04-19T01:53:08Z")
[_Logan’s Run_: ‘I hate outside!’](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pK-7YtkSsjY) ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/7 "2024-04-19T01:55:17Z")
When camping there always seemed to be that one mosquito that got in my tent and figured buzzing around my ear was a fun thing for it while I tried to sleep. I love the outdoors but that was maddening on more than one occasion. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/8 "2024-04-19T02:05:48Z")
People get downright giddy when they talk about camping. Mr VOW’s snarl would usually shut them right up. His final words would be, “If you like camping so much, go serve in the Army for twenty years.” The topic of conversation would usually change immediately. “Vacation” means nice hotels, clean sheets, hot showers, and best of all, ROOM SERVICE. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/9 "2024-04-19T03:59:22Z")
> [@mixdenny](#): > > Yeah, yeah, go ahead and make fun of me. Boo! You’ve already done a pretty effective job of that yourself. Quite frankly, your biggest threat in the backcountry is infection from scratches in contact with contaminated water, or maybe an encounter with a venemous snake. I haven’t had a problem with wildlife even when (black) bears or raccoons were around except to secure food and cookware. I’ve never had a problem with “snarling rabbits” although the hares of _Watership Down_ seem prepared for battle, and I’ve encountered more dangerous spiders indoors than out in the woods. Ticks are a verifiable menace and marmots are obnoxious, but I’ve never felt physically threatened in the woods except by one overly familiar (and frankly creepy) hiker in Yosemite who wouldn’t take a hint until I pulled out my field knife and told him to maintain his distance. Do you really drive a golf cart with “blazing LED headlights” around your 1/2 acre property? I had to mow a lawn three times that size with a push mower as an eight year old child, and ventured far beyond at all hours of the night when I snuck out to look at the stars. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/10 "2024-04-19T04:03:04Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > Do you really drive a golf cart with “blazing LED headlights” around your 1/2 acre property? Mostly when I take out the garbage cans. One fits in the golf bag space perfectly. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/11 "2024-04-19T04:03:07Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > I’ve never had a problem with “snarling rabbits” although the hares of _Watership Down_ seem prepared for battle, Apparently you’ve never encountered the [Rabbit of Caerbannog](https://youtu.be/XcxKIJTb3Hg)! That rabbit’s got a vicious streak a mile wide. It’s a killer! ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/12 "2024-04-19T04:08:56Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > The bugs are Here!! I just had one those extra large light beetles fly in the door. It landed on the bar still behind a grandkid. Who immediately started screaming. I love beetles and most insects but not spiders. Those big June beetle buzz bombs are cute. My grandmother had a pet beetle named Pedro she got in Mexico. It was bedazzled and jeweled on its back. It had a gold chain and clip to hook it on her dress and she wore him often. I think they have been outlawed for a long time. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/13 "2024-04-19T04:19:11Z")
My Manhattan-bred brother-in-law on our first family Pacific NW rain forest excursion: “There’s too much _nature_ here!” ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/14 "2024-04-19T04:26:35Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Camping is not desirable to me either, I have to say. I think that if our forebears could see us spending a ton of money to go brave the wilderness, they’d say “Are you _crazy?!?_ We’re out here taming the wilderness, so that you can be comfortable and safe and indoors.” ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/15 "2024-04-19T04:42:30Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > Quite frankly, your biggest threat in the backcountry is infection from scratches in contact with contaminated water, or maybe an encounter with a venemous snake. Well, Mosquito bits can be very dangerous. They are about the only thing that scares me in a mainland American wilderness. All other dangers- just use some caution. Oh, wait- ticks too. Okay, any bloodsucking insects. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/16 "2024-04-19T04:54:30Z")
That nasty water ain’t too pleasant to drink. What’s that disease? Also we have a kinda leech type worm. So no bathing. That seriously bothers me. Nope. Camp ground showers won’t do. Nope, nope, nope. The only Beatles I want have long hair and a nice back beat. ☺ ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/17 "2024-04-19T04:56:31Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > That nasty water ain’t too pleasant to drink. What’s that disease? Water purifiers solve that. Or bring your own. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/18 "2024-04-19T05:14:46Z")
Sounds reasonable. But I know these things. Some folks don’t. Or if a person finds themselves lost. Another story, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/19 "2024-04-19T05:16:05Z")
I wish we had a "like"button as I totally agree with you. ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2024, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483/20 "2024-04-19T05:29:02Z")
I’ve been camping with family, and with Boy Scouts, and the wife has done “camping” at Burning Man (not in 15 years or so though). And… well, yeah. Camping is a good way to make you appreciate just how easy and secure you can be at home. There are individual _moments_ of camping that I just love - especially how being away from city-glow can make the stars pop and how sometimes it’s just damn nice to be far away from the irritations that other humans often are. But those are moments, and fleeting by nature. My fondest camping trip was when I was 4ish. I had an _awesome_ honorary uncle, who often took care of me when my parents needed a break, who had an amazing and huge loft apartment back in western MASS. He had taken me camping once before, and I loved the adventure of it, and we were going to do another, but it started raining. So he set up his big dome tent in the middle of his living room, and we had a two day camping trip WITH TV, a bathroom, and electric lights! One of my fondest semi-detailed early memories. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-the-wilderness/1000483.md?page=2)