# I do not like Yoni **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 5, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867 "2005-04-05T17:01:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/41 "2005-04-05T19:10:50Z")
> [@E. Thorp](#): > > Lingam? You hardly know 'im! Heyo! _cues the Tonight Show music_ Order now, and you’ll get this 2 CD set, including such hits as : Yoni the Lonely - Roy Orbison Yoni Yoni - Billy Idol Owner of some Yoni Art - Yes and of course, the complete works of Yonee Yonie Yoni. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/42 "2005-04-05T19:11:43Z")
So I guess “axe wound” is right out? ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/43 "2005-04-05T19:11:59Z")
Don’t forget Yoni Mitchell. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/44 "2005-04-05T19:13:18Z")
The first time I ever heard “gash,” I was working at a chain restaurant and a cow-orker asked me if I’d like to go to a party because “there would be tons of gash there!” I didn’t go. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/45 "2005-04-05T19:22:11Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Owner of some Yoni Art - Yes 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/46 "2005-04-05T19:25:26Z")
I concur. _Yoni_ just doesn’t live up to such viable alternatives as _meat curtains_ or _cocksocket_. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/47 "2005-04-05T19:37:42Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > So I guess “axe wound” is right out? _corsses legs tightly and whimpers_ ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/48 "2005-04-05T19:49:18Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > So I guess “axe wound” is right out? Hey, you’re from the area. There was a bar in Ocean City called the Bearded Clam. Way down on the south side, mid-island, maybe across the street from the amusement park. Do you know if it’s still there? ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/49 "2005-04-05T19:50:32Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I do. What bugs me is its use as a euphemism by people who are uncomfortable with the word in English and the faux-spirituality as discussed by **Binarydrone**. Some words just NEED to be replaced due to the sheer ugliness of the 'proper" term, regardless of whether they refer to genetalia or just everyday items. Vagina and Penis both are, imho, such words. Both are extremely aesthetically displeasing words. Just about anything sounds better than those two words, even silly pet-names. But Yoni? All I can think of is a really bad infomercial for a mullet-headed violinist. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/50 "2005-04-05T19:51:20Z")
I haven’t been over there, so I couldn’t say. Amusing name, though. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/51 "2005-04-05T19:53:44Z")
“Yoni” always makes me think of the hedgehog from Watership Down. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/52 "2005-04-05T20:14:22Z")
> [@manhattan](#): > > Hey, you’re from the area. There was a bar in Ocean City called the Bearded Clam. Way down on the south side, mid-island, maybe across the street from the amusement park. Do you know if it’s still there? Was last time I was there about 18 months ago. Big place. But not my speed. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/53 "2005-04-05T20:25:40Z")
> [@Dung Beetle](#): > > “Yoni” always makes me think of the hedgehog from Watership Down. Me too! :smack: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/54 "2005-04-05T20:51:46Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Some words just NEED to be replaced due to the sheer ugliness of the 'proper" term, regardless of whether they refer to genetalia or just everyday items. > > Vagina and Penis both are, imho, such words. Both are extremely aesthetically displeasing words. Just about anything sounds better than those two words, even silly pet-names. But Yoni? All I can think of is a really bad infomercial for a mullet-headed violinist. I don’t disagree with any of this. Let’s think about it this way: why not replace it with, say, the Russian word for vagina, which according to a web translator is влагалище (vlahalishche)? Because Russian ain’t as spiritual or mystical as Sanskrit. Anything said in Sanskrit is automatically organic, chakra-infused and full of low-fat yogurty goodness, served up on a yoga mat. Bleagh. Besides, I’m not real keen on trusting a web translator site. It’s a cool word, but by using it I might be inadvertently offering sex for money or something. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/55 "2005-04-05T22:50:13Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I never heard the term until this thread. Or in other words… you had never come across it. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/56 "2005-04-05T22:57:06Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] > [@](#): > > It’s been around at least since 1976, when Tom Robbins wrote\* Even Cowgirls \* Get _the Blues_, which was made into a [movie](http://movies.msn.com/movies/movie.aspx?m=122544) in 1994, starring [Uma Thurman (possibly not work safe)](http://top10v.narod.ru/names/t/thurman_u/show_eng.html?uma01.jpg) as Sissy Hankshaw, the Yoni Yum girl. Can a brother get a little love for Uma? It goes further back, \*much \*further back. Does it mean you haven’t read the Kama Sutra? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/57 "2005-04-05T23:29:40Z")
I actually think we need a new word for the object under discussion. I can’t think of a word for it that isn’t too clinical, too silly, or too crude. On the male side, you at least have “dick” and maybe "cock. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/58 "2005-04-05T23:46:33Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Some words just NEED to be replaced due to the sheer ugliness of the 'proper" term, regardless of whether they refer to genetalia or just everyday items. Not just any term will do, though. Witness this entire thread. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/59 "2005-04-05T23:47:39Z")
> [@Vetch](#): > > Nor me, but you can bet your bottom dollar I’m going to see it crop up all over the place now. If you’re lucky!! Woo! ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/60 "2005-04-06T00:09:12Z")
**Yonic** has the feminine crotch shaped **Y** , the cuntacious **o** to its credit, a buttuckish **n**. an ejaculatory phalic **i** and a bazzomerlike **c** it could hardly be more fitting as a word. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867.md?page=4)