# I do not like Yoni **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 5, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867 "2005-04-05T17:01:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/61 "2005-04-06T00:47:04Z")
[bobby brown] \*If you believe in love and all that it can do for you Give it a chance, girl, you’ll find roma-a-a-a-aaance, And when you find a tender yoni that is right for you Make it official–give her your lo-o-o-ooove My heart belongs to a yoni–she’s my only love She’s my only looooooooove…\* [/bobby brown] ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/62 "2005-04-06T00:57:33Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > I actually think we need a new word for the object under discussion. I can’t think of a word for it that isn’t too clinical, too silly, or too crude. > > On the male side, you at least have “dick” and maybe "cock. You need at least two terms so you can switch off when you’re talking about the particular organ. I’m rather partial to “holy hoo-ha” myself, but I wouldn’t say it aloud. Would make me laugh too much. However, we have “coochie,” “cunt,” “box,” and (prepare to lose your lunch) “honeypot.” Or maybe “pussy.” Here kitty, kitty… ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/63 "2005-04-06T02:24:05Z")
> [@evilbeth](#): > > You know, when I saw the thread title, I was thinking, _That’s not how he spells it!_ I’m glad I’m not the only one who was thinking that! From now on, I’m using the term “[poochie](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6011835&postcount=19).” Much more versatile than yoni! ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/64 "2005-04-06T03:16:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Let’s think about it this way: why not replace it with, say, the Russian word for vagina, which according to a web translator is влагалище (vlahalishche)? Even better is пизда, but just don’t say it in polite company. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/65 "2005-04-06T03:33:34Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > “holy vulva” sounds better, to my ears. Isn’t that a Dio song? ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/66 "2005-04-06T03:36:07Z")
> [@](#): > > Jenaroph Let’s think about it this way: why not replace it with, say, the Russian word for vagina, which according to a web translator is влагалище (vlahalishche)? Because Russian ain’t as spiritual or mystical as Sanskrit. Anything said in Sanskrit is automatically organic, chakra-infused and full of low-fat yogurty goodness, served up on a yoga mat. Bleagh. Hmmmm, depending upon the pronunciation, I’d take the Russian word, it sounds nicer. But then, I’m not one who is automatically swayed by anything Sanskrit and mystical…so that’s just mho 🙂 > [@Cervaise](#): > > Or in other words… you had never come across it. ??? I’d never heard of it until this thread either. Do you construe “I’ve never heard of this…” as the person saying it doesn’t exist or something? Because I assure you, it’s a completely innocent statement meaning the same thing as “I’ve never come across it” and NOT implying that the term doesn’t exist. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/67 "2005-04-06T03:47:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Hmmmm, depending upon the pronunciation, I’d take the Russian word, it sounds nicer. I think **Jenaroph** was getting a bit of Ukrainian mixed up in there – влагалище is pronounced like “vlagalishche” – it may be a bit of a mouthful (hehe) to someone not used to Russian, which is why I prefer пизда (or “cunt”) – short and crude is always better than polysyllabic and pretentious. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/68 "2005-04-06T04:23:01Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > It goes further back, \*much \*further back. > > Does it mean you haven’t read the Kama Sutra? :eek: Thank you! Anyway, as a man, I’ll get back to fearing the mystical Mother Goddess and the feminine power she sets forth every month inside your yonis. [small]Besides, the Vagina Monologues said you’re supposed to reclaim “cunt”.[/small] ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/69 "2005-04-06T05:00:35Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > **Yonic** has the feminine crotch shaped **Y** , the cuntacious **o** to its credit, a buttuckish **n**. an ejaculatory phalic **i** and a bazzomerlike **c** it could hardly be more fitting as a word. Going to order a gin and yonic? Perhaps it’s the music you like and not the smell? Lingam Neilson? The actor? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/70 "2005-04-06T08:28:18Z")
The thing about Yoni, of course, is that it doesn’t like kubeh. (There are maybe three people here who will get the reference). ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/71 "2005-04-06T08:34:52Z")
Incidentally, here’s a [picture](http://www.answers.com/topic/jonathan-netanyahu#Wikipedia) of a clean-shaved, good-looking, physically fit Yoni. ---
**Author:** ![Hokkaido\_Brit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d26b3c/32.png) [@Hokkaido\_Brit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hokkaido_Brit)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/72 "2005-04-06T09:38:43Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > I’d never heard of it until this thread either. Do you construe “I’ve never heard of this…” as the person saying it doesn’t exist or something? Because I assure you, it’s a completely innocent statement meaning the same thing as “I’ve never come across it” and NOT implying that the term doesn’t exist. Whooo hooo-haaa hoosh! I’ve never CUM across it (the Yoni!!) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/73 "2005-04-06T10:50:01Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Goddess Vulva Puppets?! Band Name! (Amazed no-one else said it first.) 😛 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/74 "2005-04-06T13:07:07Z")
I agree, one of my main hot buttons is people who substitute a perfectly good anglosaxon purjorative [cunt] with some granola crunchy better than thou attitudinal twaddle… But then again, I also detest someone who feels they have to use a foreign word or pronunciation of a word instead of the plain vanilla english/american word for something. What is _wrong_ with pronouncing surrealism in the old fashioned english/american pronunciation, you dont need to use the french pronunciation. How would you like someone wandering around pronouncing [all of these](http://www.google.com/url?sa=U&start=5&q=http://www.westegg.com/etymology/&e=9888) in the original languages? Sod it all, english follows other languages down dark alleys, bashes them on the head and rummages in their pockets for bits of loose grammer…there is no ‘pure’ language with absolutely no influences from any other language until you get to some amazon or micronesian tribe who has never ever seen another tribe in their entire history… ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/75 "2005-04-06T13:47:47Z")
_Yoni_ makes me think of Yoni Mitchell. _Vlagalishche_ sounds like food. Imagine some exquisite young Yulia or Larisa splayed out on a platter with borscht and zakuski, accompanied by ice cold Stolichnaya. [sub]Then again, that sounds some kinda good, do’n’it?[/sub] 😛 My own favorite term for the female endowment is _zizzy_. A girl named Elizabeth once told me Zizzy was her baby name. I immediately fell in love with it. [sub](The _name,_ wiseasses.)[/sub] Were it absolutely necessary, I might refer to my own _thang_ or _jimbob._ [sub]Note that _jimbob_ is NOT a proper name, eg: “Jim Bob.”[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/76 "2005-04-06T14:38:34Z")
How about “minkey?” An art teacher I used to work with was wont, when she was liquored up and feeling the temptations of the flesh, to lean over and whisper **“Would you like to touch my minkey?”** to me in an Inspector Clouseau accent. It’s a humorous and unpretentious term; every woman to whom I ever told this anecdote fell in love with the word and started using it to refer to their own nether parts. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/77 "2005-04-06T15:55:21Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Some words just NEED to be replaced due to the sheer ugliness of the 'proper" term, regardless of whether they refer to genetalia or just everyday items. > > Vagina and Penis both are, imho, such words. Both are extremely aesthetically displeasing words. Just about anything sounds better than those two words, even silly pet-names. But Yoni? All I can think of is a really bad infomercial for a mullet-headed violinist. I’m going to be one of “those” people and point out that the reason I don’t like “vagina” is it’s WRONG!!! “Vagina” is the fleshy tube that decends from the uterus and opens below the labia minora. It’s the canal the baby passes through. It’s what you stick a tampon in during Aunt Flo’s visit. It’s the meatsock. It is not anything visible on a sexy woman standing upright. It is not the pubic hair, the clitoris, the labia majora or minora. And if all you’re interested in is the meatsock? Well, frell off. You’re an amatuer and not worthy of my time. (That’s the general “you”, not you “you”, \*\*CanvasShoes \*\*- just using your quote to start things off.) That said, “yoni” bugs me, too. For the same reasons as the OP, multiplied by eleventythousand because those are actually the people I hang out with. Take your misguided half-witted misunderstandings of tantra (it ain’t about sex, whitey!) and shove it up your yoni, you pathetic granola cruncher! But there isn’t really a satisfying work for it.“Cunt” sounds hard and mean and entirely unlike the body part we’re describing, “pussy” just irritates me for some reason - it sounds condescending and vulgar (Ha! Vulgar! Entymology pun there for ya!), “cootch”, “cootchie”, “coozie” et al. bring to mind depression era strip clubs or peep shows - maybe I’ve been watching too much _Carnivale_. The best I can do is vulva. It’s so soft and velvety and warm and mooshy. Onomatopoetic, even. Turn the word on it’s side and it even looks a little like one! And more accurate, since it’s not referring to just the vaginal opening or tube, but to the whole wonderful thing, including labia(s) and clitoris. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/78 "2005-04-06T16:55:15Z")
Since reading [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6011190&postcount=1), I now prefer “poochie” _snerk_ ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/79 "2005-04-06T17:36:19Z")
> [@Hokkaido Brit](#): > > I’ve never CUM across it Bingo. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/80 "2005-04-06T19:03:13Z")
> [@yBeayf](#): > > I think **Jenaroph** was getting a bit of Ukrainian mixed up in there – влагалище is pronounced like “vlagalishche” – it may be a bit of a mouthful (hehe) to someone not used to Russian, which is why I prefer пизда (or “cunt”) – short and crude is always better than polysyllabic and pretentious. Yep, that was the case - ‘g’ in Ukrainian is a different letter. пизда, huh? I have some not-so-polite company to try that one out on 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867.md?page=5)