# I do not like Yoni **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 5, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867 "2005-04-05T17:01:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/81 "2005-04-06T20:58:04Z")
I think the reason so many people embrace the word is because all the other euphimisms just don’t sound very _nice_. I can’t think of a really good alternative either. I’ve heard mariposa (butterfly) is common in spanish speaking countries and that sounds nice but a bit cutesy. At least people are calling it something other than “down there”. I call mine Muffy when referring to her adventures or state of mind. As in, “Muffy got a brazilain today” or “Muffy is angry”. For lack of a better word I tend to use the word pussy most of the time. I never bought in the Mystical Mother Goddess stuff either but I love The Vagina Monologues. My favorite is The angry vagina. Truer words were never spoken. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/82 "2005-04-06T21:40:21Z")
> [@The Mermaid](#): > > “Muffy got a brazilain today” Muffy Wuffy was “down there” Muffy Wuffy had no hair Muffy Wuffy wasn’t muffy, was she ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/83 "2005-04-07T00:00:12Z")
Yeah, yoni sounds like the kind of word a hippy drinkin’ her own menstrual tea would use. I prefer the term “coo” myself. The boyfriend uses it (the word you dirty bastrads) now too. I have to shave my coo. My dog is licking her own coo. You get the idea. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/84 "2005-04-07T01:15:03Z")
I’m surprised no one across the pond’s suggested “fanny.” ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/85 "2005-04-07T01:56:02Z")
Fanny. I just can’t conjure of thoughts of the happy hot pocket when I hear “fanny”. I wind up thinking of cookbooks. Or borrowing large sums of money. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/86 "2005-04-07T03:19:55Z")
Cunt is the word I use unless in company that doesn’t appreciate it, in which case I use coochie or sometimes pussy. I like vulva–it sounds sort of cushy and mysterious at the same time. I just don’t feel like using it in conversation much. Cunt, to me, is like cock (the words, y’all, the _words_)–blunt and purposeful, which I like just fine. Count me in as another who doesn’t like the word vagina–it’s only part of the thing, after all. ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/87 "2005-04-07T04:17:11Z")
Forget it, **WhyNot** , you’re wasting your time. I have never been able to figure out why 99% of the US adult population believes a vagina can be seen without special instruments, but they do, and they persist. No amount of education will sway them. I guess when they hear the term “vulva” they think the conversation is about Swedish cars. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/88 "2005-04-07T05:25:00Z")
> [@lorinada](#): > > Forget it, **WhyNot** , you’re wasting your time. I have never been able to figure out why 99% of the US adult population believes a vagina can be seen without special instruments, but they do, and they persist. No amount of education will sway them. > > I guess when they hear the term “vulva” they think the conversation is about Swedish cars. 4 fingers, inserted correctly can operate as a speculum. No special tools other than time, some foreplay to get relaxed and a funky position for the person being the flesh-speculum. Now _I_ cant see it without a mirror, but you didnt specify selfexamination with notheing special… ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/89 "2005-04-07T06:35:10Z")
> [@Hokkaido Brit](#): > > Whooo hooo-haaa hoosh! > > I’ve never CUM across it (the Yoni!!) Oh DERRRRRR!!! :smack: :smack: :smack: Sorry **Cervaise** , I thought it was rather odd for you to be picky about that tiny distinction. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/90 "2005-04-07T06:58:41Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Let’s think about it this way: why not replace it with, say, the Russian word for vagina, which according to a web translator is влагалище (vlahalishche)? Because Russian ain’t as spiritual or mystical as Sanskrit. Anything said in Sanskrit is automatically organic, chakra-infused and full of low-fat yogurty goodness, served up on a yoga mat. Bleagh. You nailed it. Now, when is **Johanna** popping in here to defend the vaguely spiritual pseudo-feminism we’re attacking so harshly in a typically male way? ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/91 "2005-04-07T08:32:09Z")
Fanny here in the States is used for the buttocks. I don’t mind yoni. Kinda like muff- but that’s for the unshaved ones. Muffin can work for either. Cunny is kinda nice. Not as crude as cunt. Also is Latinate. For the male term, cock is OK. I’d rather have a lady o’mine ask for that as it sounds big & round, than “dick” which sound skinny. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/92 "2005-04-07T11:47:16Z")
> [@sports commentator whose name I've forgotten](#): > > And now the Bulgarian favourite for the women’s clean and jerk. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/93 "2005-04-07T12:24:49Z")
I nominate **Kvassian Bivalve**. > **[In Soviet Russia, Star's Trek You!](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=310536)** > > Commie-pinko rip off of Star Trek. The episode descriptions are hysterical! “I’d rather eat a Kvassian bivalve! And I _have_!” ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/94 "2005-04-07T13:16:23Z")
This is the first place I’ve ever heard “Yoni” used as a euphemism for the girly bits. While I agree with BinaryDrone about the culture of, well, faux-culture that I imagine the term is popular with, I think there’s a need for an alternative and I like this one. All the English words for female genitalia are overloaded with connotations that are too diminuitive, infantilizing, adolescent, objectifying, pornographic, hostile, or antiseptic. “Vulva” doesn’t do it because then that doesn’t include “vagina”, and "vagina doesn’t work because it doesn’t include “vulva.” I like “Yoni.” It’s got the Y shape suggesting the legs and torso. That’s sexy. It’s got the “ohhh” sound. That’s sexy. It’s got the “ni.” Can’t think of anything sexy about “ni”, let’s just say that’s part of the feminine mystery. And on top of that, it actually does mean “girly bits” and has been used in ancient text that properly describe and appreciate the purpose of the Yoni (to make sweet love down by the fire). So if loving the Yoni is wrong, I don’t want to be right. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/95 "2005-04-07T13:24:35Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Let’s think about it this way: why not replace it with, say, the Russian word for vagina, which according to a web translator is влагалище (vlahalishche)? Because Russian ain’t as spiritual or mystical as Sanskrit. Do you suppose that’s why they wrote the [Kama Sutra](http://www.kamasutra-sex.org/text/index.html) in Sanskrit instead of Russian? ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/96 "2005-04-07T21:47:35Z")
That page has boobies! While I am very pro boobie (though anti-Yoni), my boss feels a little differently about the matter. NSFW. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/97 "2005-04-07T22:24:01Z")
Oh sorry, I didn’t realize anyone didn’t know the Kama Sutra is a sex book. THE KAMA SUTRA IS A SEX BOOK. NOT SAFE FOR WORK. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/98 "2005-04-07T22:27:00Z")
> [@NattoGuy](#): > > …THE KAMA SUTRA IS A SEX BOOK. NOT SAFE FOR WORK. THE KAMA SUTRA IS A SEX BOOK YOU SAY? I HAD NO IDEA! I IN NO WAY THOUGH THE LINK MIGHT GO TO AN ARTICLE, OR SOMETHING OF THAT NATURE, AND WAS NOT TRYING TO GENTLY REMIND YOU OF THE TWO CLICK RULE OR ANYTHING. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/99 "2005-04-07T23:11:28Z")
I like the term Yoni, it’s short and sweet like the thing it describes. It’s more flowing and soft than cunt, and pussy makes sound like a cat, which I like when girls refer to their “kitty-cat”. I get really irritated by the new age more-spiritual-than-thous, and it’s too bad that anyone taking a sampling of other religions into their own purview are judged by such a visible group. Also, I don’t like the “faux-culture” distinction. They might be elitist about it but to presume that they aren’t getting anything from the experience is just as elitist. In the New York underground music/art scene there is a lot of that stuff going around right about now, and my friend and I were talking about doing a party called “More Spiritual than You” as a satire. I’ve met a lot of people who use Yoni who have no problem telling you what it means without being a jerk about it. There is no fixed American culture, we are a smorgasbord culture, and that’s one thing I like about America. I spent a lot of time as a kid avoiding slang terms everyone used because “Everyone used them”. Now I just pick and choose the ones I like. Yoni is one. Also, I know a musician that goes by the name “Meatsock”. 😉 Erek ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867/100 "2005-04-08T07:49:40Z")
I think Yoni connotes a particular archetypical idea and is the perfect technical terminology for that image- it is the feminine and fertile symbology of the religous and mystical. I find no pretention in conveying accurate meaning. Yonic form and palpable pussy ain’t the same! The pussy I see in Rohrschach just doesn’t compare-- a pussy in hand is worth two bushes (or something like that.). I had some mussels a while back… **Yonically** , they evoked a deep longing, I felt a prick of sadness in the taint of oral satisfaction imagined. Form, smell, taste penetrated. If you don’t like Yoni then you’re probably a repressed, pussy hating, Republican… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-like-yoni/297867.md?page=6)