# I do not make allowances for drunkenness. Is this unusual? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 22, 2010, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682 "2010-09-22T19:04:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/61 "2010-09-24T00:22:59Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > > [@Zeriel](#): > > > > I think a lot of the answer to the OP has to do with what is construed as “behaving like an asshole”, too. > > I don’t think the specific behavior matters. It’s just whether “He’s acting like an asshole, but he’s drunk so I’ll give him a pass” or the like is something you’d ever think. Well, to me it’s not. There are behaviors that wouldn’t be appropriate in a sober person (i.e., starting a fistfight) that are acceptable and normal behaviors in many of the specific social contexts in which I drink. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/62 "2010-09-24T01:28:50Z")
From the perspective of a former drinker and current basically teetotaller who still hangs out with drunks sometimes, I can tell you that the behaviour that you think is fun and cool while drinking is irritating and annoying to non-drunk people. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/63 "2010-09-24T01:52:15Z")
That’s why everyone gets drunk together. 🙂 It’s never fun to be a sober person amidst a bunch of drunks. In grad school a girl I knew refused to drink alcohol of any sort and she always had the look of a martyr on her face when she went out with us. I don’t know why she even bothered. ETA: not saying all teetotalers are like this. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/64 "2010-09-24T02:10:41Z")
> [@sitchensis](#): > > People don’t fall over when they are drunk. They really fall over all the time. They’re just able to not fall over when they are sober. Were you drunk when you wrote this? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/65 "2010-09-24T02:15:12Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > > [@sitchensis](#): > > > > People don’t fall over when they are drunk. They really fall over all the time. They’re just able to not fall over when they are sober. > > Were you drunk when you wrote this? 😕 I think he’s trying to parody people who say “Alcohol doesn’t turn people into assholes- it just makes them unable to hide it.” “Alcohol doesn’t make people fall over, it just makes them incapable of not falling over.” Or something. ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/66 "2010-09-24T18:18:56Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > I’m not Martin Hyde, obviously, but yeah, within reason. Alcohol lowers inhibitions. This means that people do things they wouldn’t typically do sober. Now obviously there’s a line. Hitting \*on \*someone you normally wouldn’t when you’re drunk is not an egregious offense. Hitting them is. On the other hand, in my group of friends, that would often be the other way around. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/67 "2010-09-24T19:00:07Z")
> [@mutantmoose](#): > > Everybody always seems convinced that drink makes people say what they are really thinking but usually hold back on. I’m not so sure. There’s no evidence for this meme. Sure there’s evidence. Anybody who has been around a drunk person has experienced this. ---
**Author:** ![alexandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@alexandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alexandra)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/68 "2010-09-24T20:44:25Z")
> [@Cazzle](#): > > There are things I’d give a pass on because of alcohol, but not everything. Silliness, ok. Malice, cruelty, dishonestly, not ok. Basic human decency should not dissolve in alcohol. Pretty much this. ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/69 "2010-09-24T21:01:14Z")
I throw a lot of drinking parties, and every now and then some small item will disappear during the night. Usually it turns back up, with an apology that starts with, “This was in my pocket when I got home - I’m sorry, I was really drunk.” Those get a pass, no problem. But once a guy got trashed and swiped a shot glass of mine - I only found out because his wife, a close friend of mine, came across it in his top drawer a few months later. He gave a sort of half assed apology and claimed he wasn’t a thief, it would never happen again, it was just the booze. I haven’t had him back to my house since then (he and my friend later divorced) - to swipe something is one thing, not to return it entirely another. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/70 "2010-09-24T21:26:47Z")
Yeah… being drunk doesn’t fly as an excuse for much, with me. Being someone who doesn’t lose control in any meaningful way when intoxicated, I tend to hold other people accountable for everything they do, drunk or not. If you say or do dumb things when drunk that cause you problems in your life or relationships, you shouldn’t get drunk. Ever. And the people I have known who stood out as especially problematic drunks usually turned out to be assholes while sober, eventually. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/71 "2010-09-24T21:47:22Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > In one of the Skald hypothetical threads, there is a character who becomes a racist asshole when drunk out of her gourd. Lots of people in the thread downplay her remarks because she’s drunk. > > To me, being drunk is hardly a defense. If you behave like an asshole, I don’t care if you’re drunk, sober, high, stupid, or a pod person. I will make allowances if you’re suffering a psychotic break because of your prescription meds, but in general, I don’t care _why_ you’re acting like an asshole, I only care _that_ you’re acting like an asshole. And yes, speech counts when it comes to “acting like an asshole.” > > So, do you forgive someone easier if they do jerky things while intoxicated? Not in the slightest. And they are fair game for whatever happens to them while they are drunk, as well. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/72 "2010-09-24T22:06:00Z")
> [@filling\_pages](#): > > I throw a lot of drinking parties, and every now and then some small item will disappear during the night. Usually it turns back up, with an apology that starts with, “This was in my pocket when I got home - I’m sorry, I was really drunk.” Those get a pass, no problem. But once a guy got trashed and swiped a shot glass of mine - I only found out because his wife, a close friend of mine, came across it in his top drawer a few months later. He gave a sort of half assed apology and claimed he wasn’t a thief, it would never happen again, it was just the booze. I haven’t had him back to my house since then (he and my friend later divorced) - to swipe something is one thing, not to return it entirely another. I don’t think I could forgive that under any circumstance–whether they told me the next day or the next month. If not wanting my friends to steal from me when drunk makes me stiff or a teetotaler or someone who just doesn’t “get” drinking culture, then so be it. I have nothing against having a good time but I don’t appreciate being taken advantage of. ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/73 "2010-09-24T23:00:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Freudian Slit Quote: > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally Posted by sitchensis > > People don’t fall over when they are drunk. They really fall over all the time. They’re just able to not fall over when they are sober. > > Were you drunk when you wrote this? Sorry, wasn’t counting on the page break, the statement was in responce to the post before: > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by Little Nemo > People don’t act like assholes when they’re drunk. They really are assholes. They’re just able to act like non-assholes when they’re sober. It’s the attitude that somehow the drunk brain is the absolute deepest darkest truth, and the conscious brain is a façade put forth so that you can get by in society. I’m of the opinion that the conscious brain is the truth of a person and the drunk brain would be a place for ideas without backing or logic applied, just fleeting feelings and emotions, not a person’s true identity. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/74 "2010-09-24T23:15:22Z")
Supposedly one of Napoleon’s lieutenants killed a man in a drunken rage, and then used his drunkenness as a defense. In the course of the court martial, Napoleon took the man to a high cliff where they finished a bottle of brandy in minutes. With the lieutenant completely inebriated, Napoleon then ordered him to march to the edge of the cliff. He did so, and Napoleon ordered him to throw himself off. The lieutenant refused, saying he would surely die. It was at this point that Napoleon said ‘If you have the self-control to recognize the danger to yourself, you should have had the self-control to recognize the danger to someone else when you killed a man while drunk. Guilty as charged!’ and ran him through with a cutlass. It’s a great story, but is it true? My google-fu is weak this day… At any rate, no, I do not make allowances for drunkenness, either. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2010, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/75 "2010-09-25T01:38:42Z")
I think people are thinking of different definitions of “allowances” here. I don’t think **the law** should make allowances for drunkenness. There was a recent case in Korea where a drunken man anally raped a girl with a toilet plunger and got off easy because he was drunk. That’s complete bullshit. But if my friend gets drunk once in a while and breaks a wine glass or says something inappropriate at a dinner party, I’m not going to hold it against them. ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/76 "2010-09-27T18:26:04Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I don’t think I could forgive that under any circumstance–whether they told me the next day or the next month. If not wanting my friends to steal from me when drunk makes me stiff or a teetotaler or someone who just doesn’t “get” drinking culture, then so be it. I have nothing against having a good time but I don’t appreciate being taken advantage of. The few times that someone returned something quickly, I gave it a pass. I didn’t even see it as stealing. Someone’s drunk, they pick up a pocketknife off a shelf, fiddle with it, stick it in their pocket when they go to get another beer, forget about it. No biggy. Or once it was a dvd remote that someone swiped because, when drunk, they thought it would be a funny prank. That kind of thing. But real theft, even of something as small as a shot glass, doesn’t get a pass from me. ---
**Author:** ![heavyarms553](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/779978/32.png) [@heavyarms553](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heavyarms553)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/77 "2010-09-29T19:02:26Z")
In Vino, Veritas. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682/78 "2010-09-29T22:32:16Z")
> [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](#): > > Supposedly one of Napoleon’s lieutenants killed a man in a drunken rage, and then used his drunkenness as a defense. In the course of the court martial, Napoleon took the man to a high cliff where they finished a bottle of brandy in minutes. With the lieutenant completely inebriated, Napoleon then ordered him to march to the edge of the cliff. He did so, and Napoleon ordered him to throw himself off. The lieutenant refused, saying he would surely die. It was at this point that Napoleon said ‘If you have the self-control to recognize the danger to yourself, you should have had the self-control to recognize the danger to someone else when you killed a man while drunk. Guilty as charged!’ and ran him through with a cutlass. > > It’s a great story, but is it true? My google-fu is weak this day… > > At any rate, no, I do not make allowances for drunkenness, either. Why didn’t he push him off the cliff? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-do-not-make-allowances-for-drunkenness-is-this-unusual/554682.md?page=3)