# “I don’t like your tone of voice” **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2023, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570 "2023-01-21T14:38:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/21 "2023-01-21T16:24:03Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > suspect @kayaker does it with a definite twinkle in his eye. Maybe that’s why I get away with stuff like this. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/22 "2023-01-21T16:37:12Z")
I suspect that’s true too. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/23 "2023-01-21T16:41:02Z")
Had a boss who contended that if you say “Now, don’t get defensive…” to someone, the next thing they say will naturally be in a defensive tone of voice. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/24 "2023-01-21T16:57:45Z")
Try: “I don’t like your tone of face.” ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/25 "2023-01-21T16:58:43Z")
I can’t hear your tone of voice. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/26 "2023-01-21T17:05:01Z")
> [@ASL\_v2.0](#): > > It _can be_ incredibly insulting. How about, “I don’t care for your tone of voice?” Better? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/27 "2023-01-21T17:07:01Z")
Should work well on muggers. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/28 "2023-01-21T17:09:42Z")
Well, I don’t like the cut of your jib ! > [@Jackmannii](#): > > Should work well on muggers. It may do, if said in a Clint Eastwood mule insult response type voice. ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/29 "2023-01-21T17:19:31Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > How about, “I don’t care for your tone of voice?” Better? It’s reckless either way. If you are fine with being reckless, then go on and be reckless–I can’t stop you. Just don’t be shocked if someone doesn’t take it so well. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/30 "2023-01-21T17:20:12Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > Well, I don’t like the cut of your jib ! That gets said at Hobie Cat regattas. Pretty much _everyone_ looking over your boat will say, “I like the cut of your jib” and chuckle. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/31 "2023-01-21T17:22:02Z")
> [@ASL\_v2.0](#): > > Just don’t be shocked if someone doesn’t take it so well. I wouldn’t be shocked, maybe surprised, but I also wonder what “not taking it well” implies. Collapsing to the ground in tears? Pulling a knife? ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/32 "2023-01-21T17:25:59Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I also wonder what “not taking it well” implies The could be horrific unforeseen consequences. I could imagine someone leaving in huff, saying “Well, good day to you sir” but not really meaning it. ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/33 "2023-01-21T17:52:03Z")
I could also imagine something thinking “Wow, what an incredibly racist thing to say…” ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/34 "2023-01-21T18:07:09Z")
And clearly you have an excellent imagination! ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/35 "2023-01-21T18:51:41Z")
Said to a friend or fellow regular at your local watering hole I could see it being quickly recognized as a joke after a momentary mental double-take. Said to a random stranger I could see the next thing being him going all MMA on your surprised self. Certainly the latter is less likely the more physically intimidating you yourself appear. But if so, that also makes your comment even more of a jerk move if delivered to a stranger. I too have a bad habit of applying what I think of as humor in situations with strangers where misunderstandings are more likely than I foresee at the moment. I’ve had to learn to make sure that any such humor is self-deprecating not other-deprecating. Everything is all fun and games until somebody gets hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/36 "2023-01-21T19:02:57Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Said to a friend or fellow regular at your local watering hole I could see it being quickly recognized as a joke after a momentary mental double-take. > > Said to a random stranger I could see the next thing being him going all MMA on your surprised self. And it doesn’t even have to get physical. Try that with a co-worker and be prepared for them to side-eye you for a while, waiting for the next “joke”. You’re basically calling someone rude, when they’re not being rude. Three people looked at you like you’d slapped them. Did you not have second thoughts after the first one reacted that way? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/37 "2023-01-21T19:05:04Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Three people looked at you like you’d slapped them. Did you not have second thoughts after the first one reacted that way? No, because there were also people who took it playfully, and even the three that “looked like I’d slapped them” thought over what I’d said and realized I was just f\*cking around. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/38 "2023-01-21T19:25:46Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > Well, I don’t like the cut of your jib ! OR: _Pipe down dumb Dora, the baloney spilling outta your kisser gives me the heebie jeebies._ Jazz-age slang always gets the point across. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/39 "2023-01-21T19:32:43Z")
Don’t look at me in that tone of voice! ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2023, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570/40 "2023-01-21T19:59:58Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > And clearly you have an excellent imagination! Consider: > **[Inclusive Language Series: Tone Policing](https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2022/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing/)** > > Many people are unaware of tone policing and may not recognize how it can be expressed. So, what is tone policing? According to Oxford Dictionary, tone policing is “the action or practice of criticizing the … > **[Dear Corporate America: Stop Tone Policing Black Women. We Have Every Right...](https://www.forbes.com/sites/danabrownlee/2021/11/23/dear-corporate-america-stop-tone-policing-black-women-we-have-every-right-to-be-angry/?sh=1cd7225b29b0)** > > While diversity leaders prod everyone to show up to work completely authentically, Black women aren't buying it. We know all too well that the toxic "angry Black woman" label is just one of the insidious landmines just waiting for us. > **[Tone Policing Most Often Targets Black Women - LatinAmerican Post](https://latinamericanpost.com/40590-tone-policing-most-often-targets-black-women)** > > Tone policing happens when someone shifts a discussion to someone's tone or approach instead of the message itself. This microaggression most often targets black women. Play stupid games (going around, telling people you don’t like their tone just for shits and giggles), don’t be shocked if you win stupid prizes (people start to wonder if you’re racist or otherwise toxic for suddenly jumping on their tone for no apparent reason). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-like-your-tone-of-voice/978570.md?page=3)