# I done broke up with the boyfriend!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [May 21, 2009, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123 "2009-05-21T00:35:54Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@phoenixundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phoenixundone)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/1 "2009-05-21T00:35:54Z")
for those of you that might remember me from my past extensive [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=516223), i think you’d be happy to hear i finally let down the axe.
it was hard. very hard. i had to battle a lot of inner conflict and actually, the last two weeks were utter hell – we fought nearly EVERY. day. i actually talked back for once, something that i never do. everything that he did that bothered me, i’d make a point to tell him that it did, which is interesting because it’s all the more evidence that our relationship was functional due to my submissiveness/spinelessness. i just couldn’t put up with his shit anymore, and i could tell he was surprised.
the last day (the day it happened), i cried and cried, and mourned the loss of our relationship and our intimacy while he watched me silently. i think it was at that point i really realized that there was no turning back point, and i think he read that in my body language and instantly started trying to console me.
but this time, i held my breath and i told him it was over. and then handed over his stuff, and he left, mouth open, eyes wide in total disbelief. i think he’s pissed off and thinks it’s not for real, but he’ll realize very soon that it is. he’s already tried contacting me a few times now, actually.
anyway, so it’s over, and i’m celebrating my freedom by putting on my hiking boots and traveler’s backpack and heading over to india for 2+ months, then to tibet, study at a monastery, then coming back and roaming seattle and portland, and san francisco.
everything feels so delightfully liberating!
thank you all for your support.
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### Author:  [@Myrrajh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrrajh)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/2 "2009-05-21T00:38:51Z")
Good for you! I’m so glad to hear you stood up for yourself and that you’re feeling so good about things despite having to make a difficult and painful decision. I’ve been there, too.
Sounds like an exciting trip you have planned. I hope you have a great time!
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### Author:  [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/3 "2009-05-21T00:39:31Z")
Congratulations. What you did was difficult, but from everything you’ve said, necessary. Mourn the relationship by all means but don’t forget to celebrate your better, stronger self!
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### Author:  [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/4 "2009-05-21T00:41:26Z")
Congrats - You made a big step phoenix!
Come back and tell us all about Tibet & India. Sounds amazing!
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### Author:  [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/5 "2009-05-21T00:44:50Z")
Yay!
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### Author:  [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/6 "2009-05-21T00:57:00Z")
Good! Be happy, and safe!
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### Author:  [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/7 "2009-05-21T01:01:47Z")
Good for you. I hope you find a man who deserves you soon.
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### Author:  [@Claire\_Beauchamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claire_Beauchamp)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/8 "2009-05-21T01:07:51Z")
You don’t know how proud I am of you.
I know how you feel, how hard that was. I’ve been through something similar myself – leaving a relationship that I knew needed to end, that I should have left long before, but still mourning it and having moments of doubt and “Oh god, what have I done?” It didn’t take long to feel the weight of the world off my shoulders and realize that I hadn’t even known the full extent of the weight until it was gone.
This is the start of the next chapter of your life. Enjoy. Most of all, LEARN from what you’ve been through.
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### Author:  [@phoenixundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phoenixundone)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/9 "2009-05-21T01:07:57Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#):
>
> Good for you. I hope you find a man who deserves you soon.
that is, after i undo all the baggage i harbored in this last relationship. question – do most people cheat on people? i’m convinced that’s the case.
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### Author:  [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/10 "2009-05-21T01:19:32Z")
**phoenixundone,** I didn’t post in your previous thread (because everyone said it far better than I), but I read it with interest.
Congrats to you! Safe travels.
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### Author:  [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/11 "2009-05-21T01:21:42Z")
Do most people cheat on people? I can’t say that I have a very wide range of acquaintances, but in my experience most people tend to be more serial than parallel in their relationships — they have the decency to divorce or break up before taking on a new entanglement. YMM (and probably does) V.
And I’d like to add my voice to the chorus of approval. In addition to fostering your personal growth, your next steps will effectively scotch any attempt on his part to worm himself back into your life; and that is an achievement worth celebrating. Ogspeed.
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### Author:  [@Terraplane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terraplane)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/12 "2009-05-21T01:55:16Z")
> [@phoenixundone](#):
>
> that is, after i undo all the baggage i harbored in this last relationship. question – do most people cheat on people? i’m convinced that’s the case.
It’s not uncommon but I don’t know about most. Even if most do, there’s still a _lot_ out there that don’t so don’t lose hope. Congratulations on making the right decision though, even if it was tough.
Also, going on a fantastic vacation has to be the best way ever to get over somebody. Next time I’m in a serious relationship I’ll be sure to squirrel away enough cash to explore another country if things turn sour.
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### Author:  [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/13 "2009-05-21T03:14:59Z")
1. Congratulations
2. So how you you doing?
🙂
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### Author:  [@Spacegirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spacegirl)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/14 "2009-05-21T03:29:31Z")
Good for you!
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### Author:  [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/15 "2009-05-21T03:30:56Z")
I must play a small bit of devil’s advocate…
I do feel for the guy, if it blindsided him, and if he felt a lot of love towards you…than my heart goes out to him.
although if it had to be done…it had to be done.
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### Author:  [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/16 "2009-05-21T03:46:29Z")
Sir T-Cups, did you read the prior thread? There was no fun in that disfunctional relationship.
phoenixundone, what you have done has taken a huge amount of courage. Give yourself a pat on the back. Continue to be strong in your resolve. Traveling right now sounds like the perfect break you need to rid yourself of some of that old baggage.
Ogspeed and travel safely. Let us know why you return.
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### Author:  [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/17 "2009-05-21T04:01:11Z")
Well done.
Hey, doesn’t somebody owe me money?
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### Author:  [@BrassyPhrase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrassyPhrase)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/18 "2009-05-21T04:23:04Z")
Yay, phoenix!
I’m so happy for you! Have a wonderful time on your travels.
You cut some ballast from your life. I’ve done it, it’s hard. But GOOD FOR YOU!
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### Author:  [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/19 "2009-05-21T04:25:53Z")
Good for you!
Have fun, and when you come back, bring curry (please)!
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### Author:  [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2009, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/20 "2009-05-21T05:16:04Z")
Yay, good for you! Going to India for two months sounds like a great idea. Have a wonderful time and come back and report!
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