# I done broke up with the boyfriend! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 21, 2009, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123 "2009-05-21T00:35:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TGWATY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@TGWATY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TGWATY)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/41 "2009-05-22T18:30:59Z")
> [@phoenixundone](#): > > everything that he did that bothered me, i’d make a point to tell him that it did, Can a male/female relationship ever be any other way? Just wondering. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/42 "2009-05-22T20:15:35Z")
Well, it depends. There are some quirks of Ivylad that I don’t like (and I’m sure I have some he doesn’t like) but they’re not dealbreakers. Some, you learn to live with. It’s the ones you can’t live with that become the issue. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/43 "2009-05-22T21:48:03Z")
Excellent work; these threads rarely have a happy ending. What you did took courage, and you should be proud of yourself for taking a stand. Remember, too, that your time in that relationship was not a waste: you learned what your boundaries are and what is and isn’t acceptable to you, and that - as well as the knowledge now that you do have the guts to say “no” to someone - will be invaluable to you in the future. What you’ve acquired - and they’re often hard in the acquiring - are the tools to shape a relationship that you want. Now go exploring: it’s a big world out there, and it’s time to find your own place in it. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/44 "2009-05-23T00:38:07Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Well, it depends. There are some quirks of Ivylad that I don’t like (and I’m sure I have some he doesn’t like) but they’re not dealbreakers. Some, you learn to live with. It’s the ones you can’t live with that become the issue. I think he meant the “telling him” part. And no, not all women are like that. There are a few things which irritate me about my hubby, but I give him a break on it since he’s mostly so awesome. And evidently he’s the same way about me. ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2009, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/45 "2009-05-23T01:28:13Z")
I’m so glad to hear this! I read the original thread and was hoping that you’d be able to definitively break it off with him. It didn’t sound like it was working (and he didn’t sound very nice). Have you traveled extensively before? I ask because as cool as it was when I took my first extended trip I did get lonely and homesick a bit eventually. I was young though–a couple years out of high school, before I went to college–and I this was my first time living outside of my small hometown. I was pretty shy too and I didn’t speak the language of most of the places I visited (this was western Europe, so it wasn’t too hard to find an English speaker, but still…) Anyway, I’m sure you will have an awesome time, but I think it’s worth remembering that sometimes travel can make you emotionally vulnerable (or anyway it can make _me_ emotionally vulnerable, I assume this sometimes happens to others too). However, all that aside: good for you! Bon voyage! ---
**Author:** ![bubba\_jr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@bubba\_jr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubba_jr)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2009, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/46 "2009-05-23T04:37:31Z")
> [@phoenixundone](#): > > that is, after i undo all the baggage i harbored in this last relationship. question – do most people cheat on people? i’m convinced that’s the case. Phoenix, to be blunt after I read that last thread, I wanted to “put some sense into your head”, that was well taken care of here I think. A) good for you. B) no, I’m guessing you are talking about guys cheating, and NO again. YES, we are all pigs(to some extent) and have our moments of pure stupidness and unsensitivity, but we are not all cheating pieces of crap and we are not as a whole anywhere near as bad as what you went through. As for whoever said they hope you find a good man. I hope you just go find yourself. You need to be happy and comfortable with yourself first. A relationship is secondary. Have fun cruising the world, sounds like a good plan. ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2009, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/47 "2009-05-23T06:07:18Z")
That’s great news. As others has said, taking a nice long trip overseas is a great way to figure lots of things out. Also, I would suggest changing your username. You ARE a **phoenix rising**! ---
**Author:** ![fusoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@fusoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fusoya)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2009, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123/48 "2009-06-01T14:48:57Z")
Glad to hear the news! Seattle & Portland was a PERFECT place for me getting over the loss of my last girlfriend, which as you were aware, was a similar situation to yours. It’s when you finally realize that you’re happier without your SO, and that he/she is someone you can’t even stand to be around/talk to anymore that you realize it was one of the best decisions of your life! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-done-broke-up-with-the-boyfriend/497123.md?page=2)