# I don't appreciate little children telling me how to cross a road **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 17, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720 "2004-02-17T22:38:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/61 "2004-02-19T21:51:45Z")
> [@Gundy](#): > > So what’s wrong with telling the kid, “I’m an adult, you don’t need to tell me when to cross.” Nothing wrong with that at all. That’s probably what I’d do. Though I might have added a comment about how the kid did not need to be so _snotty._ If the kid is snotty to me, I reserve the right to tell them that. I wouldn’t rant, I wouldn’t rave, I wouldn’t be mean. I might simply say, “I am an adult, you don’t need to tell me when to cross. And you certainly should not speak in such a snotty tone to anyone, especially not an adult who is also a stranger.” > [@](#): > > It doesn’t take a lot of guts to say that calmly to a kid, and it’s certainly much more adult than freaking out over it-- and yes, starting a fucking PIT THREAD about it qualifies as freaking out in my book. Oh, give me a break. The OP did and said nothing to the little snot. The OP simply vented a little on this board. Not “freaking out.” I see no “freaking out” from the OP. As you might have noticed, a lot of Pit threads are less than cosmic or profound. There’s one about cheeseburgers and hamburgers. Is that also _freaking out_ because it’s in the Pit? I don’t think so. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/62 "2004-02-19T21:57:25Z")
[QUOTE=Dooku] Apparently you’re the willfully obtuse idiot for missing my point entirely, and for actually helping to make it with yet another “strongly worded lesson” for the guy who doesn’t like kids. My point is that regardless of whether I choose to behave in a civilized manner around children or not is **up to me**. I can handle it just fine. What I can’t handle is people like you **constantly reminding** me to do so with your little “what kind of a lesson is that” and “a fine example you set” commentary. [QUOTE] Someone a little less dim than you seem to be would note that I said I don’t expect you to set any example for my child or teach him any lessons. What most parents expect is for you to behave like a normal fucking person around them and their children. Of course it’s up to you whether you will behave like a normal fucking person – but that it’s not a matter or course, but choice to you, says a lot about your character. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/63 "2004-02-19T22:03:41Z")
> [@yosemitebabe](#): > > Nothing wrong with that at all. That’s probably what I’d do. Though I might have added a comment about how the kid did not need to be so _snotty._ If the kid is snotty to me, I reserve the right to tell them that. I wouldn’t rant, I wouldn’t rave, I wouldn’t be mean. I might simply say, “I am an adult, you don’t need to tell me when to cross. And you certainly should not speak in such a snotty tone to anyone, especially not an adult who is also a stranger.” Well, tone is subjective. If you’re inclined to dislike children, then you’ll be more likely to think they’re being snotty all the time. > [@](#): > > Oh, give me a break. The OP did and said nothing to the little snot. The OP simply vented a little on this board. Not “freaking out.” I see no “freaking out” from the OP. > > As you might have noticed, a lot of Pit threads are less than cosmic or profound. There’s one about cheeseburgers and hamburgers. Is that also _freaking out_ because it’s in the Pit? I don’t think so. Actually, and this is of course just my perception, I think this is yet one more reminder from featherlou that she doesn’t like children, and one more opportunity for kid-haters to stand behind her and say “Yeah! Kids suck, aren’t I badass?” Plus, when a person is upset enough by an incident to Pit it – like, a REAL incident, not just a faux-angry Pit rant – then I think they’re pretty wound up about it, yeah. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/64 "2004-02-19T22:06:50Z")
Forgive me posting in the “who hates kids the most thread”, since I’m one of these bunged up nutballs that actually likes them… but a) how funny that most of you dislike children because you can’t relate to them on your highly advanced adult level (i.e., helpless, boring to talk to, childlike) Yet when one of them is given a semi-adult responsibility like being a crossing guard and carries that responsibility out, you react by calling him a sprog, a CROTCH APPLE and suggesting **BITCHSLAPPING HIM** or giving him the finger, claiming he’s an upstart or obnoxious. b) where are all of these “smelly”, “sticky” kids coming from? Unless you are talking about a three month old with a full diaper specifically, I think you’ve seen Oliver one too many times. Most of the kids I hang around are so clean and shiny you could eat off their fucking sternums. and c) Wow? Featherlou hates kids. Whodathunk? I mean, it’s only her 16,000 post on the subject. SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMOND. You really are bucking the system sister. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/65 "2004-02-19T22:22:58Z")
> [@Gundy](#): > > – but that it’s not a matter or course, but choice to you, says a lot about your character. Sorry, that should be “but that it’s not a matter of course, but _choice_ to you, says a lot about your character.” ---
**Author:** ![RitzyRae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aca169/32.png) [@RitzyRae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitzyRae)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/66 "2004-02-19T22:27:27Z")
I remember being a fifth grade crossing guard… the bright orange sash… the shiny buckle… the stop sign… of ABSOLUTE POWER! Mawahahahahaha! ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/67 "2004-02-19T22:38:08Z")
> [@bluethree](#): > > No way in hell am I waiting around so I can be escorted across the street among a herd of small children. Fortunately, I don’t live or work anywhere near an elementary school. > > The crossing guard is there to protect children, not adults. And hopefully adults can be mature and patient enough to set a good example. Though this thread seems to show otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/68 "2004-02-19T22:40:55Z")
> [@Gundy](#): > > Well, tone is subjective. If you’re inclined to dislike children, then you’ll be more likely to think they’re being snotty all the time. Well, since I’ve already stated that I _like_ children, I hope that you’ll give me the benefit of the doubt and trust that I’d know when one was truly being snotty. > [@](#): > > Actually, and this is of course just my perception, I think this is yet one more reminder from featherlou that she doesn’t like children, and one more opportunity for kid-haters to stand behind her and say “Yeah! Kids suck, aren’t I badass?” Plus, when a person is upset enough by an incident to Pit it – like, a REAL incident, not just a faux-angry Pit rant – then I think they’re pretty wound up about it, yeah. “Wound up” is not the same as “freaking out.” I don’t participate in the “kid hating” threads and I don’t generally keep track of who does or does not like kids. I simply think that one can post a rant without FREAKING OUT about it. I also think that one can like kids and yet not always be enchanted with their behavior or their upbringing. I like kids and I seem to get along with them (I think it’s because I don’t talk down to them). But one thing I cannot stand is a snotty kid that hasn’t learned where the boundaries are. I don’t wish to be mean to the kid—I simply don’t think it’s a kindness to allow them to continue to think it’s okay to behave in such a manner. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/69 "2004-02-19T22:41:17Z")
AWWWWW, we don’t WANNA SET A GOOD EXAMPLE! :: stomping feet:: MY LIFE AT EVERY MOMENT IS SO FUCKING IMPORTANT that I can’t even be polite to a fellow human being. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/70 "2004-02-19T22:45:04Z")
> [@yosemitebabe](#): > > But one thing I cannot stand is a snotty kid that hasn’t learned where the boundaries are. I don’t wish to be mean to the kid—I simply don’t think it’s a kindness to allow them to continue to think it’s okay to behave in such a manner. And what do we do with snotty adults, like the ones, perhaps who refer to children getting out of school as ‘being released from the zoo’? or JayJay who likes to give little kids the finger. Or the poster on page 1 who suggested that featherlou bitchslap the crossing guard? I don’t think it’s ok to behave in THAT manner, either. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/71 "2004-02-19T22:48:07Z")
> [@jarbabyj](#): > > And what do we do with snotty adults, like the ones, perhaps who refer to children getting out of school as ‘being released from the zoo’? or JayJay who likes to give little kids the finger. Or the poster on page 1 who suggested that featherlou bitchslap the crossing guard? > > I don’t think it’s ok to behave in THAT manner, either. Certainly not. I’d never behave in such a way. Giving kids the finger? That’s awful. However, I don’t take hyperbole spewed on a message board too seriously (about what people _say_ they’d do), but man, if they’d ever actually do it, they’d get a serious bitchslapping from me. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/72 "2004-02-19T22:48:38Z")
> [@yosemitebabe](#): > > Well, since I’ve already stated that I _like_ children, I hope that you’ll give me the benefit of the doubt and trust that I’d know when one was truly being snotty. I wasn’t talking about your judgment, I was talking about featherlou’s, who has mentioned plenty of times she doesn’t like children. > [@yosemitebabe](#): > > “Wound up” is not the same as “freaking out.” Depends on who you ask, I suppose. It seems like such a tiny tiny minor incident to carry with you to your computer to me, but hey, it takes different strokes to move the world, right. I don’t participate in the “kid hating” threads and I don’t generally keep track of who does or does not like kids. I simply think that one can post a rant without FREAKING OUT about it. > [@](#): > > I also think that one can like kids and yet not always be enchanted with their behavior or their upbringing. I like kids and I seem to get along with them (I think it’s because I don’t talk down to them). But one thing I cannot stand is a snotty kid that hasn’t learned where the boundaries are. I don’t wish to be mean to the kid—I simply don’t think it’s a kindness to allow them to continue to think it’s okay to behave in such a manner. Peachy keen. I don’t believe I ever said children should get a free pass to behave like assholes – they deserve to be called on it, just like adults. And in this case, if you (the general you, not specific you) declare that you don’t like an entire group of people, your judgment is less than reliable when it comes to a member of that group’s behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/73 "2004-02-19T22:49:22Z")
> [@Gundy](#): > > Someone a little less dim than you seem to be would note that I said I don’t expect you to set any example for my child or teach him any lessons. I responded to that - you chose not to quote it and you have missed it twice now. My original post was not directed at you. > [@](#): > > What most parents expect is for you to behave like a normal fucking person around them and their children. Of course it’s up to you whether you will behave like a normal fucking person – but that it’s not a matter or course, but choice to you, says a lot about your character. So I guess that less dim person would be you, having missed my entire point AGAIN. Incredible. When you missed it the first time, you called me willfully obtuse and / or an idiot. When you missed it the second time you called me dim. And lo! There’s another finger-wagging preachy statement thrown in about my character, making my point (that you missed) for me once more. Here it is, AGAIN, in nice boldy letters for you: **MY PROBLEM IS WITH THE PREACHING FROM THE PARENTS ABOUT HOW I’M REQUIRED TO BEHAVE, NOT WITH THE CHILDREN THEMSELVES.** This has nothing to do with what “most parents” want, or what “most parents” expect. It has nothing to do with setting a good example. It has to do with people feeling they have the right to TELL me that I should set a good example. IOW, It has to do with people in this thread that feel it appropriate to **lecture others** in the ways of proper behavior around children. Gee, I wonder what brutal namecalling you’ll use for your next post that again misses my point… ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/74 "2004-02-19T22:56:53Z")
> [@Dooku](#): > > Here it is, AGAIN, in nice boldy letters for you: **MY PROBLEM IS WITH THE PREACHING FROM THE PARENTS ABOUT HOW I’M REQUIRED TO BEHAVE, NOT WITH THE CHILDREN THEMSELVES.** Hey, smart guy, read this: > [@Gundy](#): > > Of course it’s up to you whether you will behave like a normal fucking person\*\* The remainder of that statement was a JUDGMENT on your character, not a DIRECTIVE. You’re not REQUIRED to act any way, but I’m more than happy to tell you you’re an ass if you behave like one. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/75 "2004-02-19T23:01:58Z")
And: I don’t expect people to behave any differently around my child than they would around me, if they don’t know me already. Normal, non-socially-retarded people behave in a certain way towards strangers: they don’t yell at them, call them idiotic names, or physically assault them. If expecting that minimally civilized behavior from a stranger is preaching to them on how to behave, then I’m okay with that. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/76 "2004-02-19T23:08:11Z")
> [@Gundy](#): > > I wasn’t talking about your judgment, I was talking about featherlou’s, who has mentioned plenty of times she doesn’t like children. Okay, fair enough. However, not liking children does not automatically mean that all children one encounters are not capable of being snotty. > [@](#): > > Depends on who you ask, I suppose. It seems like such a tiny tiny minor incident to carry with you to your computer to me, but hey, it takes different strokes to move the world, right. Well, yeah. Some of the rants here are pretty trivial, and yet are not all deemed as “FREAKING OUT.” > [@](#): > > Peachy keen. I don’t believe I ever said children should get a free pass to behave like assholes – they deserve to be called on it, just like adults. I think that some people here have indicated that the kid should be cut some slack or catered to. (As in, wait for some undetermined and nebulous amount of time for the kids to prepare whatever it was they needed to prepare, and cross with them. As if one wants to wait that long!) > [@](#): > > And in this case, if you (the general you, not specific you) declare that you don’t like an entire group of people, your judgment is less than reliable when it comes to a member of that group’s behavior. But since you were not there, you really don’t know if the kid was snotty, or not. And you certainly can’t claim that just because someone doesn’t like kids that any snotty kids they encounter can’t be snotty after all! To me, it sounds like the kid was snotty. Unless the OP is twisting what the actual words of the kid were. But if the kid was quoted verbatim, it _sounds_ snotty to me. (Not that I know, anymore than you know.) The kid could have asked why the OP didn’t wait to cross. The kid could have expressed some concern or alarm towards the OP. Instead, the way the comment was phrased sounds like the kid was admonishing or “commanding” the OP on what to do “next time.” That definitely sounds snotty to me, and I _like_ kids. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/77 "2004-02-19T23:08:41Z")
> [@Gundy](#): > > Hey, smart guy, read this: > The remainder of that statement was a JUDGMENT on your character, not a DIRECTIVE. You’re not REQUIRED to act any way, but I’m more than happy to tell you you’re an ass if you behave like one. Fine with me, as long as acting annoyed towards a child that happens to be annoying towards me doesn’t autmoatically qualify me as an ass that needs a lecture on “setting a better example.” > [@](#): > > AWWWWW, we don’t WANNA SET A GOOD EXAMPLE! :: stomping feet:: MY LIFE AT EVERY MOMENT IS SO FUCKING IMPORTANT that I can’t even be polite to a fellow human being. Putting words in my mouth, but no. We don’t want to be **told** in a condescending parental tone to set a better example. You know, a tone like this: > [@](#): > > And hopefully adults can be mature and patient enough to set a good example. > > Though this thread seems to show otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/78 "2004-02-19T23:15:45Z")
> [@yosemitebabe](#): > > Okay, fair enough. However, not liking children does not automatically mean that all children one encounters are not capable of being snotty. Nope, it doesn’t. But it doesn’t mean I should trust her judgment either. Like you said, neither of us was there. ::shrug:: > [@yosemitebabe](#): > > I think that some people here have indicated that the kid should be cut some slack or catered to. (As in, wait for some undetermined and nebulous amount of time for the kids to prepare whatever it was they needed to prepare, and cross with them. As if one wants to wait that long!) I see this as being part of a strata of kid-friendliness. I cut kids slack because I like them and see it as reasonable to do so since they’re still “under construction”, but someone who has no particular affinity for kids isn’t obligated to, I don’t think. A bare minimum of civility was called for in this case – tell the kid you don’t like his behavior and move on. It ain’t rocket surgery, folks. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/79 "2004-02-19T23:25:14Z")
So, I’m assuming there’s some history here that I’m not aware of, but… > [@Gundy](#): > > Is it really that much to ask that an adult behave in a civilized manner around children as part of functioning in society? it seems to me that the OP did behave in a civilized manner - she waited until the light was in her favour and the coast was clear before crossing. As far as I’m concerned, she did set a good example (wait for light, check coast is clear) - in theory a child could wind up at a crosswalk with no crossing gaurd and **featherlou** has provided a good example of how to get accross the road. She didn’t even say anything to the crossing guard who was being snotty (according to her description). I guess I don’t really understand what you and **jarbaby** are getting so worked up about, although I get the impression that **featherlou** has posted about a dislike of children before. Personally, I’ve never noticed, but that certainly doesn’t mean that it hasn’t happend. NB - no cites are required - I’ll just take your word for it. Finally, **DegantheWolf** is a bone head. Both here, and in his stupid PC thread. ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/80 "2004-02-19T23:37:06Z")
> [@Dooku](#): > > Putting words in my mouth, but no. We don’t want to be **told** in a condescending parental tone to set a better example. You know, a tone like this: Then stop acting like a child… 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720.md?page=5)