# I don't appreciate little children telling me how to cross a road **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 17, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720 "2004-02-17T22:38:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/141 "2004-02-21T00:47:26Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Some people will put their own spin on anything a kid says. And yeah, you’re as capable of doing that as I am, or featherlou, or anyone else. > [@](#): > > So I didn’t give the **precise** answer that fit **perfectly** with her idea of How a Child Should Behave. That made me a brat, right? And then I had no appetite for the cookies. Further evidence of brattitude. And what did she do? She made a scene within earshot of you. Even _if_ the OP is totally, completely offbase about this kid’s intentions, what _exactly_ did she DO or SAY to the _kid?_ Nothing! I think tone of voice can make up for a lot (and mean a lot) so it’s quite possible that this kid said, “Next time use the crossing guard” in the best, most polite, sweet way possible and the OP is totally misunderstanding the tyke’s attitude. But, unlike "I’d appreciate it if . . . " or "If it’s not too much trouble . . . " which both are not _commands_, "Next time do this . . . " is kinda a command. Is it not? > [@](#): > > And it doesn’t make the kid in the OP a monster just because he hasn’t taken the Dale Carnegie course. Who here has called the kid a monster? (I mean, seriously, and meant it?) > [@](#): > > And maybe he just _sounds_ “snotty” because he’s little and his voice is naturally high. Maybe he should get a voice filter, so that everything he says comes out like The Rock is speaking. 🙂 And maybe he’s “commanding” adults and that tends to come off as snotty. We will never really know, since neither of us were there. But one thing I do know. Kids _are_ capable of being snotty. Yes, it happens. And when they are snotty to us, we have a right to not take kindly to it. We even have the right to tell them, “there’s no need to be snotty.” Not flip them the bird, not bitchslap them. But tell them. But you know, the OP didn’t even do that. The OP posted this semi-trivial Pit thread instead. Big whoop. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/142 "2004-02-21T01:02:28Z")
> [@yosemitebabe](#): > > The problem is, I think, that seven year olds shouldn’t be “handling” adults in the same way that an adult in authority over others should. YMMV on that as well, I am sure. In no way do I believe the child should be, or was, “handling” the adult. “Handling” requires a level of understanding of the nuances of interpersonal relations that seven year olds very rarely posess. Odds are he was given a phrase to use verbaitm whenever he saw someone crossing the street without the crossing guards. The language of the phrase is reasonably respectful(assuming we have an accurate transcript). Matters of tone on the part of the speaker and/or interpretation on the part of the listener are probably the foundation of any issues here. Drawing any concrete conclusions is probably impossible. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/143 "2004-02-21T02:18:45Z")
I seem to be the only one in this thread who would be annoyed no matter what age of person gave me such a command. I don’t care if it’s Grandma Moses, I’m not stopping my walk to wait for the crossing guard to get set up. Julie ---
**Author:** ![Denis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5e9695/32.png) [@Denis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Denis)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/144 "2004-02-21T02:48:15Z")
Wow. Amazing. My wife and I have two children, ages 9 and 4. We have both gone to the mat for them. If we were within earshot of either one of them saying to an adult “Next time, wait for the crossing guard,” they would get a huge piece of our minds about courtesy to adults/strangers. Those of you who object to people remonstrating (even nastily) with a child for being a snot, in my opinion, have a very dim and condescending view of children’s intelligence. Even, **Jayjay** , who said he flipped off a busload of mouthy 13 year olds gets a pass from me. I don’t know about some reading this, but I got way worse from my contemporaries at that age, and I dished it out. I’m not talking about physical abuse, mind you, I’m talking about verbal reminders about what is or isn’t acceptable in general. Children are precious, but they aren’t as fragile as many of you seem to think. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/145 "2004-02-21T07:05:19Z")
The [dictionary](http://m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=zoo&x=0&y=0) defines “zoo” as “a place, situation, or group marked by crowding, confusion, or unrestrained behavior.” I would venture to say that if you find this unkind, you have never worked in a school or daycare center before, and have forgotten much of your own childhood. Now, the immediate responses to the OP have been to rationalize the kid’s actions and look for wrongdoing on **featherlou** ’s part. Why is that? Is it impossible that a 7-year-old could deliberately be rude, and is it wrong to dislike him for it? Why? ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2004, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/146 "2004-02-22T06:58:49Z")
I’ll preface this by saying I don’t have any kids of my own. However, I am a teacher of 7th graders, so I’m around them a lot, and in general, I like them a great deal. Certainly, some of them are capable of enormous snottiness, and have no compunction whatsoever about telling adults their business. I’ll give an example that quite cheesed me off at the time: I was off duty, hanging out with a friend in a public place. My friend hadn’t shaved that day, and looked a bit scruffy, but it was our day off, for god’s sake. We were both smoking cigarettes too, horrors. At this moment, one of my students walks by and sees me. I knew I was in for it, and sure enough, on Monday, she says to me, “Who was that gross guy you were hanging out with? Your boyfriend?” Well, excuuuuuse me. I responded, “No, actually, he’s gay, and not gross, just unshaven. If you had to run a sharp piece of metal across your face every day, you might take a day off from it too. Give a guy a break.” She thought about that a moment, and rather than admit she was outta line, she then retorted with a wrinkled nose, “You were smoking. You shouldn’t smoke.” Can’t tell you how this aggravated me, but I didn’t bitchslap her or give her the finger. I like my job, and I also like this particular kid, but I thought her comment and scornful tone were the height of rudeness. My response? “I am an adult, and even though I know smoking is bad for me, I can decide to do it anyway once in a while if I want to. That’s one perk of being an adult, along with eating dessert before dinner if I want to. Thanks for your concern, but I really do know what I’m doing. When I want your advice on my personal choices, I’ll ask for it specifically.” Don’t think she bought it, but she did shut the fuck up and will at least be a little more careful about mouthing off in that way again, at least to me. My point is, yeah, some kids do get above themselves. Self-righteousness is odious in people of any age, and pointing it out firmly but politely should be sufficient to deal with it, no? ---
**Author:** ![zephyrine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/35a633/32.png) [@zephyrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zephyrine)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2004, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/147 "2004-02-22T07:26:39Z")
> [@DeaganTheWolf](#): > > Kids, espescially deserve little to no respect when they act snotty because they are KIDS! They need to be corrected, whether through a good example, or a good stream of four letter words. A good example is the correct response. Kids deserve respect. They are still learning how to function in society. Some adults deserve respect. The rest of them don’t. > [@](#): > > You mess with a stranger and you roll the dice on whaich you are going to recieve. I was taught to NOT talk to strangers as a child, if My mother or father caught me talking to, much less mouthing off to a strange adult like that, i’d been grounded for certain. This child has probably been **taught** to tell people when and where to cross. It is quite likely that he takes his responsibiity seriously… by some officious adult. Kids aren’t born thinking that it’s wrong to cross the road at certain times, or smoke, or anything else. They are taught by adults that these things are evil and wrong, and they are gullible. As for the whole “I hate kids” stance - oh, grow up! ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/148 "2004-02-23T21:43:41Z")
> [@Gundy](#): > > That’s part of my point. If she was so assed up about it, she SHOULD have said something. Like, “Hey kid, I’m an adult, you don’t need to tell me when to cross.” Why “SHOULD” she have? How did it become her responsibilty to correct the child for any misbehaviour (if there was) on his part? She’s not his parent, teacher, or any other type of caregiver. I think by just going about her business and ignoring the child she did the right thing. If the kid was really that bad and it was me, I might have made a phone call to the school and lodged a complaint with whomever was in charge of the crossing guards. Let them correct Junior - it’s not my job. Pretty much like if I was at a restaurant and the hostess had a snotty attitude, I wouldn’t say something to him/her, I’d say something to the manager. > [@](#): > > Instead, she came here and whined. Um, isn’t that the whole point of the Pit - to rant about things that’ve annoyed one? > [@](#): > > …it about acting civilly to other people, regardless of age How was featherlou not civil in this situation? She didn’t yell at him, she didn’t act snotty in return, she didn’t flip him off, she ignored him. Coming here and writing up a rant isn’t being rude. Regardless of whether she likes children or not. ---
**Author:** ![theR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/977dab/32.png) [@theR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theR)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2004, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/149 "2004-02-23T21:59:31Z")
I’ve always found it rather amusing that many of the people who most vocally proclaim their dislike of children are the adults that act the most like the stereotype of the very same group they dislike. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/150 "2004-02-24T04:12:10Z")
> [@Mauvaise](#): > > Why “SHOULD” she have? How did it become her responsibilty to correct the child for any misbehaviour (if there was) on his part? She’s not his parent, teacher, or any other type of caregiver. I think by just going about her business and ignoring the child she did the right thing. > > If the kid was really that bad and it was me, I might have made a phone call to the school and lodged a complaint with whomever was in charge of the crossing guards. Let them correct Junior - it’s not my job. Pretty much like if I was at a restaurant and the hostess had a snotty attitude, I wouldn’t say something to him/her, I’d say something to the manager. If an adult is snotty with me, I tell them so – and I behave the same way with kids. It’s not about taking responsibility for the child’s behavior, it’s about letting people know they’ve crossed a line. If nothing else, it would perhaps prevent a second occurrence. I think it’s a silly way to go about things to let people be snotty with you and then come on to a message board to complain about it. > [@](#): > > Um, isn’t that the whole point of the Pit - to rant about things that’ve annoyed one? _Um_, I suppose it is. Doesn’t make dopey rants like this one any less so. Obviously, opinions vary. > [@](#): > > How was featherlou not civil in this situation? She didn’t yell at him, she didn’t act snotty in return, she didn’t flip him off, she ignored him. Coming here and writing up a rant isn’t being rude. Regardless of whether she likes children or not. My comments regarding civil behavior were more directed to the people who “jokingly” suggested bitchslapping or cursing out kids. ---
**Author:** ![htns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@htns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/htns)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/151 "2004-02-24T04:53:31Z")
How about this for a response? Just roll your eyes, say “yeah, right, whatever” to the kid, then forget the incident. Well, it’s what I’d do. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/152 "2004-02-24T06:31:50Z")
> [@Gundy](#): > > My comments regarding civil behavior were more directed to the people who “jokingly” suggested bitchslapping or cursing out kids. What’s with the quotes around jokingly, anyway? Do you think that whoever posted that wasn’t really kidding, and was earnestly advocating committing assault on random children in public? Or are you just so completely fucking humorless you wouldn’t recognize a joke if you were looking in a mirror? And what’s so bad about cursing at children, anyway? They’ve got to learn how to swear from _somebody_. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/153 "2004-02-24T11:55:14Z")
Jar, Calm down. I know your feelings about children, and I understand why you feel them. You really have to take a step back and stop assuming that everyone who has differing opinions about children to you are out to destroy YOUR opinions. You apparently saw the title of the OP and who posted it and decided what was going to be in it before you read it. The kid was snotty. I like kids, but I cannot stand snotty kids. I realise that they are young and they are just doing what kids do. I don’t offer them a free pas but I realise that I was probably once like that. I let it pass. I wouldn’t be adverse to flipping the bird to a bunch of kids who were rude to me. As an aside, the way you Hamadryad and gundy all rushed into the thread to say exactly the same thing, are you surprised that people call you cliquey? ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/154 "2004-02-24T13:01:08Z")
Just wanted to poke my head into the thread to say: I stopped my own rebuttal because **Gundy** was doing a much better job of saying what I thought, without foaming at the mouth like I was. She still is. The people who talk about bitchslapping or cussing out the kid in question - _and who are not joking_ - need to get a fucking grip. **TwistofFate** : Having the opinion that the kid in question shouldn’t be pigeonholed as a little brat who ought to be bitchslapped, sworn at, and otherwise heaped with abuse doesn’t make anyone “cliquish.” If I’ve ever been a member of a clique (other than band members in high school), I’m not aware of it. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/155 "2004-02-24T13:03:51Z")
who wasn’t joking about hitting the child? ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/156 "2004-02-24T13:08:14Z")
> [@TwistofFate](#): > > who wasn’t joking about hitting the child? How do I know? I’m not a mind-reader. I’m just saying if _anyone_ wasn’t joking, he or she needs to get a fucking grip. There’s been a lot of hostility in here, and you never know exactly how out-of-touch with reality folks can get. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/157 "2004-02-24T14:21:13Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > What’s with the quotes around jokingly, anyway? Do you think that whoever posted that wasn’t really kidding, and was earnestly advocating committing assault on random children in public? Or are you just so completely fucking humorless you wouldn’t recognize a joke if you were looking in a mirror? > > And what’s so bad about cursing at children, anyway? They’ve got to learn how to swear from _somebody_. I have more of a sense of humor about children than most parents I know – I don’t think they’re sacrosanct. But if in one breath you (again, the general-not-specific you) tell me you don’t like kids, and then “joke around” about hitting them, I’m less apt to take it in fun. Besides, I don’t know the people here in person, and if strangers start joking about smacking my mom around, I won’t take it too well either. I think it’s as rude to swear to a child you don’t know in person as it is to swear to an adult you don’t know in person. Common, polite language with strangers and all that. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/158 "2004-02-24T14:25:29Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > I stopped my own rebuttal because **Gundy** was doing a much better job of saying what I thought, without foaming at the mouth like I was. She still is. Some folks do think I’m foaming at the mouth, which makes me wonder what it looks like when I _do_ lose my shit. > [@](#): > > **TwistofFate** : Having the opinion that the kid in question shouldn’t be pigeonholed as a little brat who ought to be bitchslapped, sworn at, and otherwise heaped with abuse doesn’t make anyone “cliquish.” If I’ve ever been a member of a clique (other than band members in high school), I’m not aware of it. Exactly. I’m not defending jarbaby or Hama, I’m defending my own opinion on the subject. That my opinion happens to intersect with theirs doesn’t make it a clique or a cult or anything. But it does make anyone who thinks so look like a dope for believing that the only possibility that when more than one person disagrees with their opinion it’s got to be the result of a hive mind. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/159 "2004-02-24T15:18:00Z")
> [@TwistofFate](#): > > Jar, > > Calm down. I know your feelings about children, and I understand why you feel them. I haven’t posted to this thread in days Twisty. Precisely because of that. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2004, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720/160 "2004-02-24T15:26:50Z")
> [@Gundy](#): > > Some folks do think I’m foaming at the mouth, which makes me wonder what it looks like when I _do_ lose my shit. > Exactly. I’m not defending jarbaby or Hama, I’m defending my own opinion on the subject. That my opinion happens to intersect with theirs doesn’t make it a clique or a cult or anything. But it does make anyone who thinks so look like a dope for believing that the only possibility that when more than one person disagrees with their opinion it’s got to be the result of a hive mind. I never said that you were part of a hive mentality, I was just pointing out the way the three of you reacted to people in this thread does give some people the evidence that they want to see for “cliquey” behaviour. there are obviously previous encounters with the OP over the subject of children, and this has coloured some of the responses to this thread. There have been posts been taken completely out of context, and more strawmen than a Wurzel Gummige convention. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-appreciate-little-children-telling-me-how-to-cross-a-road/229720.md?page=9)