# I don't care **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 21, 2009, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-care/518373 "2009-11-21T04:12:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Livardo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/43a26b/32.png) [@Livardo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Livardo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-care/518373/1 "2009-11-21T04:12:04Z")
Isn’t it rude to say “I don’t care” when in conversation with somebody? This is what I was thaught when I was a kid. I noticed some people at work have gotten into the habit of saying “I don’t care”. For example, I was talking with a colleague about some documentation we maintain. She was telling me about some revisions which were needed for the doc, and at some point she said “this stuff here, I don’t care”. I looked back at her and sarcastically said, “oh really, you don’t care, huh?” and she ran off crying. Just kiddin… she shrugged her shoulders and said “oh sorry”. I told her I was just bustin’ her chops but still, I think it’s kind of rude. This is obviously not a big deal in the big scheme, but hey, it’s Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share. Oh, and whatever you think about this thread… I don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-care/518373/2 "2009-11-23T04:14:49Z")
It’s rude to tell a person that you don’t care what they think or what they say. It’s not rude to tell a person that there is something that you don’t care either way about. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-care/518373/3 "2009-11-23T05:54:34Z")
It’s not always rude: “I don’t care what we get on the pizza, you decide,” is not rude It can be rude, but sometimes it’s effective to be rude. Sometimes it’s the only way to get someone to shut up. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-care/518373/4 "2009-11-23T17:33:26Z")
I don’t remember the subject, but a couple of weeks ago Mrs. Homie and I were discussing some mundane topic. I had told her all of the information I had on the subject, but she kept pressing me for more, insisting that we discuss the minutiae of the issue in exacting detail. I got fed up and told her “I really don’t want to talk about this any more because I don’t care about it.” FTR, that was the _wrong_ thing to say. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-care/518373/5 "2009-11-23T18:16:17Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > It’s rude to tell a person that you don’t care what they think or what they say. It’s not rude to tell a person that there is something that you don’t care either way about. > [@madmonk28](#): > > It’s not always rude: “I don’t care what we get on the pizza, you decide,” is not rude Someone tell my wife that. She’d ask, for example, if I want chicken or beef for dinner. I’d reply “I really don’t care” (or something along those lines: “Don’t have a preference”, “you pick”, “doesn’t matter to me”, etc.) and she’d get quite upset about that. ☹ Any married guy knows this, no matter what you say to your wife, it’s The Wrong Thing To Say. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-care/518373/6 "2009-11-23T18:24:40Z")
My husband said that to me just yesterday, with regard to going over to my sister’s house and watching the football game (go Riders!) or staying at home. I did a bit of the womanly thing, trying to figure out if he really wanted to stay home and was just being passive-aggressive by saying he didn’t care, when he really did want to stay home, but he didn’t want to say he wanted to stay home because…then I figured, “Fuck it. He’s a grown man - if he wants to stay at home, he’ll say he wants to stay at home.” So we went and had a good time. ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-care/518373/7 "2009-11-23T19:38:41Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > It’s not always rude: “I don’t care what we get on the pizza, you decide,” is not rude It may not be ruse, but it’s inaccurate. I guaran-damn-tee you care about what’s on the pizza. Maybe if the previous question was 'Pepperoni or sausage?", but I’m pretty sure you don’t want pineapple, anchovies, and jalapenos. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-care/518373/8 "2009-11-23T20:03:52Z")
> [@JSexton](#): > > It may not be ruse, but it’s inaccurate. I guaran-damn-tee you care about what’s on the pizza. Maybe if the previous question was 'Pepperoni or sausage?", but I’m pretty sure you don’t want pineapple, anchovies, and jalapenos. ROCK ON DUDE Now, peanut butter, blue cheese and littleneck clams would be a different story. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-care/518373/9 "2009-11-23T20:27:17Z")
My two cents. IMO there is a slight difference between being preemptive with that phrase or answering a question with it. If I am going through a document and I say to you "I don’t care which graph uses blue lines and which uses red, you decide ", thats not rude in the least IMO. On the other hand, depending on the importance of the question, answering with a “I don’t care” can come off anywhere from very mildy rude to downright rude. YMMV and I dont care 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-care/518373/10 "2009-11-23T20:37:20Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > Someone tell my wife that. She’d ask, for example, if I want chicken or beef for dinner. I’d reply “I really don’t care” (or something along those lines: “Don’t have a preference”, “you pick”, “doesn’t matter to me”, etc.) and she’d get quite upset about that. ☹ > > Any married guy knows this, no matter what you say to your wife, it’s The Wrong Thing To Say. Except Mr. Neville. That’s what he always says when I ask him questions about what he wants for dinner. I don’t care, though 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-care/518373/11 "2009-11-23T21:01:49Z")
It is NOT the right thing to tell your mom when she’s telling you a long and boring story about her friend, whom you haven’t seen in fifteen years and never particularly cared about even when you actually did see her fairly regularly. One lesson learned the hard way. Be patient with your mom, even when she’s boring the shit out of you. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-care/518373/12 "2009-11-23T21:13:05Z")
Consider this very important piece of information: Jimmy cracked corn. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-care/518373/13 "2009-11-23T21:45:25Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > It is NOT the right thing to tell your mom when she’s telling you a long and boring story about her friend, whom you haven’t seen in fifteen years and never particularly cared about even when you actually did see her fairly regularly. > > One lesson learned the hard way. Be patient with your mom, even when she’s boring the shit out of you. God, it’s hard sometimes. “Oh, I was in the grocery store and when I came out I ran into Edna and the funniest thing happened… you remember Edna?” “Um, no? I don’t think so?” “Oh, you remember Edna. She’s the lady who always wears the hats to church and you used to play with her granddaughter and blarghmanregareth…” “YES OKAY I REMEMBER EDNA IS KNOWING EDNA IMPORTANT TO THE STORY JESUS CHRIST WHAT HAPPENED AT THE GROCERY STORE?!” “Oh, well I forgot my car keys.” The lesson is that you should always, ALWAYS pretend you remember Edna.