# I Don't Do Death Well **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-do-death-well/168642 "2003-04-14T15:09:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cadolphin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c37758/32.png) [@cadolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cadolphin)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-do-death-well/168642/21 "2003-04-15T12:02:20Z")
Thank you doesn’t seem like enough but I don’t know what other word to use. I feel closer to many people now and feel wanted and safe here - I need a safe place right now. Thank you everyone!!! I’m still having trouble sleeping through the night, as I’m sure y’all would have figured out since you understand I’m fighting depression right now, but I want to try to get back to sleep so I’ll see you later. Warm snuggy hugs all around, Kathy ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-do-death-well/168642/22 "2003-04-15T12:39:48Z")
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kathy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Grief brings out the worst in some people, I’m afraid. Glad to see you didn’t get chased off. (IOW, what Shayna et al. said) Robin ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-do-death-well/168642/23 "2003-04-15T16:57:31Z")
Kathy, I’m so sorry for your losses, all of them, and I’m sorry some folks feel the need to be so…crass. Yeah, we’ll go with crass, and maybe I can stay off my soapbox. (I have a nice big one built extra-high for just exactly this topic, but it’s such a PITA to put away when I’m done with it.) Anyway, you might check around for a grief-counseling group in your area, one that’s tailored to the loss of animal companions. There are such things out there, believe it or not. A lot of them are run by vet schools, but I’m sure there are others in a place the size of LA. I just wish there was more constructive help I could give you. Saying “I’m sorry” always seems so woefully inadequate, but there’s never much else I can do. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-do-death-well/168642/24 "2003-04-15T17:51:13Z")
I was going to pop in here with my customary “know strength” post, but that seems a little impersonal. So I’ll go with this oft-used road instead: {{{{ **cadolphin** }}} (one of my arms is bigger’n the other;)) Email’s in my profile if you want to vent about whatever, or just talk, or even _not_ talk.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-do-death-well/168642/25 "2003-04-15T18:06:41Z")
cadophin, i was thinking of you when i opened a thread offering hugs all round. so you can have plenty of them from me, i have plenty to share. ((((((((((((((((((((((cadoplhin)))))))))))))))))))))))))) ---
**Author:** ![Stephi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stephi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephi)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-do-death-well/168642/26 "2003-04-15T19:15:28Z")
I lost my dog Tigger in October of last year. All i can say is, it gets better after a while. So, hang in there! {{{{{cadolphin}}}}} ---
**Author:** ![Infectious\_Lass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e56c9b/32.png) [@Infectious\_Lass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infectious_Lass)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-do-death-well/168642/27 "2003-04-15T22:07:54Z")
Cadolphin, you almost certainly don’t know me, as I am an infrequent poster-mostly lurker, but I too, feel for you right now…I’m sorry that certain people in the other thread were such…well I don’t think I can say outside the Pit what I think of them…needless to say what TVeblen said articulated my feelings more eloquently than I ever could. It will get better. It doesn’t seem like it right now, but it will, believe me. My thoughts are with you. You will be alright, you really will. ---
**Author:** ![cadolphin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c37758/32.png) [@cadolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cadolphin)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-do-death-well/168642/28 "2003-04-16T00:48:40Z")
**avabeth** , it feels good to hear whatever I said helped with your depressed kitty. I’m interested… what are you trying and how is it working out? > [@](#): > > Veb was right on the money and I was glad to see when I got up the next morning that she’d closed that thread. Veb Rocks! I TOTALLY AGREE! > [@](#): > > Perhaps we can set aside some time to share a real hug. I really like that idea **Shayna**! Maybe drag the hubbies out to dinner or something soon??? > [@](#): > > cadolphin, sometimes the ole 1…2 punch, is more like a ton of bricks. You hit the nail on he head **rocking chair**. We’d been fighting to keep **Shae** alive and everyone knew about that, but it seems like a number of people missed I said my **Aunt** _and_ **Shae** (_and_ **my sister’s Dog** - yes, his name was “Dog” died the day before **Shae** ) passed away within 5 days. **irishgirl** I didn’t see your hug thread…must have been while I wasn’t peeking in on SDMB on Sat, or while **Rico** was my knight in shining armor and whisked me away about 1 hour up the coast. We stayed at a wonderful real hotel with a room overlooking the ocean. We left the sliding glass door open to the balcony (we were on the 3rd floor so it seemed safe to leave it open) so we could hear and smell the wonderfully therapeutic ocean (or at least it’s therapeutic for me). It’s great to meet you **presidebt and Infectious Lass** Thank you everyone for welcoming me back with open arms!!! \*\*{{{{{{{{HUGS TO ALL OF YOU}}}}}}}}}} \*\* Kathy ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-do-death-well/168642/29 "2003-04-16T01:13:53Z")
☹ So sorry, my sympathies. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-do-death-well/168642/30 "2003-04-16T02:01:08Z")
cadolphin, I hope you’re doing a bit better now, and time is healing your wounds. My heart feels for you; the loss of an aunt and then a beloved four-legged family member dying in your arms must have been horrible. My cat Mojo died in my arms awhile back. To watch death happen is a traumatic, aching experience. I remember how empty and drained I felt afterwards; to have it compounded by a family funeral that day seems unbearable. I hope tomorrow’s sunrise shines beautiful light on you, and the nurturing love in your heart will find all best expression in time. In the meantime, {{{{Kathy}}}}. Take care. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2003, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-do-death-well/168642/31 "2003-04-20T00:25:13Z")
I’m so sorry, Kathy. Sorry for your loss, sorry I wasn’t here for you, sorry life hit you so hard in such a short amount of time. There is no way to “Do Death Well”, so please don’t beat yourself up. There is no way for people to understand how anyone else feels, so please don’t allow anyone else’s opinion make you feel WRONG about how you are feeling. I go through a really bad “funk” every year…the anniversary of the week my mom was diagnosed terminal. (Which happened to coincide with your loss this year, I am SO sorry…) For my friend, it is her (my friend’s) birthday that she mourns most for HER mom. Another friend mourns most every year around her parent’s anniversary. Grief is very individual, and NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TELL YOU HOW OR WHEN OR HOW MUCH TO GRIEVE! OR WHO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO GRIEVE FOR!!! I love you. You have my prayers and my support and my apologies. My Love, Cheri [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-do-death-well/168642.md?page=1)