# I don't enjoy bad pizza. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 4, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338 "2009-05-04T20:55:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Alastair\_Moonsong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@Alastair\_Moonsong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alastair_Moonsong)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/21 "2009-05-05T05:53:39Z")
There are only two kinds of pizza I do not like… -Plain cheese pizza -Pepperoni pizza My favorite pizza is Grilled Chicken, Bacon, Onions, Roasted Peppers, Extra Cheese, with BBQ sauce instead of tomato sauce. But I’ll eat virtually any pizza from any joint ever as long as its not Cheese or Pepperoni. ---
**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/22 "2009-05-05T06:49:35Z")
> [@Ponch8](#): > > Whoever said that never ate the rectangular pizza at my school cafeteria when I was in school. Oh god. My mom works in special services. A couple years ago they went to round pizzas with regular slices and she said there was rebellion among the autistic kids district wide. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/23 "2009-05-05T12:52:36Z")
> [@gladtobeblazed](#): > > Not as horrible as Little Caesars. That’s just about the worse I’ve ever had. I’ll take frozen pizza over Little Caesars any day. I offer Chuck E Cheese pizza as the worst. What do I win? ---
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/24 "2009-05-05T12:59:39Z")
> [@racer72](#): > > I offer Chuck E Cheese pizza as the worst. What do I win? Every pizza produced by the colleges I have gone to has sucked balls. Absolutely the worst pizza I’ve ever had. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/25 "2009-05-05T13:03:35Z")
The worst Pizza I have ever had was in Italy(Naples),the best in the U.S.,Palm Beach Ithink it was. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/26 "2009-05-05T13:42:56Z")
As a former Bronxite who moved to the Midwest, I know how frustrating the search for good pizza can be. When I lived in Louisville, I found the best way to find good pizza was to ask the locals which pizza they liked, then eliminate that place. Now that I’m in Cincinnati, I know to avoid LaRosa’s and Donato’s. Neither is inedible, but thye also aren’t good pizza. Thank goodness for the Flying Pizza mini-chain in NE Cincy and Dayton (the Columbus one was not good), which serves REAL NY pizza. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/27 "2009-05-05T14:26:28Z")
I used to be in the “there’s no such thing as bad pizza” group, but over the past 8 or so years I am in the same group as the **OP**. With all the “good” pizza around the twin cities (Broadway, Davannis, Carbones, Punch, Nea, Cosetta, Luce) I just don’t have the time (or calories) to waste on the bad crap. If it says Dominos, PizzaHut, PapaJohns, or LittleCeasars I will take a pass even if it’s free community breakroom pizza. Blech! ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/28 "2009-05-05T15:37:17Z")
Can we talk about bad blow jobs as well? Because - just like pizza - there’s definitely such a thing. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/29 "2009-05-05T16:13:13Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > Supermarket bought, cook at home pizza is horrible. Digornio’s, which I have surely misspelled, is quite good – certainly better than Pizza Hut, which is probably used in Turkish prisons to force confessions – and well worth the price (easily 3 times as much as its competitors). ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/30 "2009-05-05T16:25:27Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > But, really, if you’re ever in the south Jersey area, head to People’s Pizza in Cherry Hill. Get a slice of plain. You’ll thank me. Actually, based on your description of good pizza, I don’t believe I would. If you have a place that makes a Chicago-style or other deep-dish pizza, I might be persuaded to have a bit of that, but NY style pizza is narsty. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/31 "2009-05-05T16:30:46Z")
I don’t know about bad pizza, but I’ve had some really good brine. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/32 "2009-05-05T16:33:15Z")
Shakeys here in CA is the most horrible pizza I’ve ever had. I choked down half a slice and will never try it again. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/33 "2009-05-05T16:43:24Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Actually, based on your description of good pizza, I don’t believe I would. If you have a place that makes a Chicago-style or other deep-dish pizza, I might be persuaded to have a bit of that, but NY style pizza is narsty. You monster. :mad: Nah, I acknowledge Chicago-style as a legitimate type of pizza, but I think I view it the same way as you view New York-style. You can’t fold a slice of Chicago-style properly! Also, this thread has made me _seriously_ crave some good pizza. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/34 "2009-05-05T17:02:05Z")
I had pretty bad pizza in Norway. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/35 "2009-05-05T17:19:03Z")
All delivery pizza is awful. It’s insanely salty (to the point that I usually wake up in the middle of the night with cottonmouth afterwards). ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/36 "2009-05-05T17:46:18Z")
Is there a food about which Dopers don’t go off into discussions, comparisons, and declarations of the rightness of the kind one prefers? I had a pepperoni pizza Hot Pocket for lunch. I am now angry at you all for talking about real pizza. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/37 "2009-05-05T18:22:22Z")
In all my many years of scarfing down pizza, I have had great, good, and indifferent. One time only did I have an inedible one. It was bought at a quaint roadside cafe just outside of Lake Placid, NY. We were saying in a motel across the street. Really, I can’t pinpoint why, or put it into words, but one bite and we threw the whole thing out in the motel dumpster. How hard is it to screw up a pizza??? We couldn’t even stomach the picked off cheese. It was a lot like Dominos, only extremely BAD Dominoes, if such a thing is even possible. ---
**Author:** ![Redwing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dfb087/32.png) [@Redwing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redwing)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/38 "2009-05-05T19:28:51Z")
Bad pizza and bad blowjobs certainly exist. But, and I truly believe this, they require effort to create. Even at the mediocre, indifferent level, both will add some spark, some color to a given day. For either to actually make a day _worse_ isn’t something that happens by accident. To make a bad pizza, one has to go beyond mere indifference into actual malice–the crust must either be burnt, or undercooked (Domino’s has managed both in the same pizza I believe), the sauce must be some reddish concoction that’s only relationship with the tomato is in color (Pizza Hut, I’m certain, as advanced research in this realm as far as is possible without violating the laws of physics)–the cheese, if it is cheese, must have reached a level blandness that Kraft could only dream of reaching with Velveeta–the toppings must first be something the alley would refuse on quality, and must be distributed in random clumps that make math departments weep as much as they make it impossible to evenly divide between the diners. I, fortunately, can not comment on what it would take to make a bad blowjob, and I’ve decided that I’m not going to try to imagine such a thing. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/39 "2009-05-05T19:39:16Z")
I loved those soft, greasy, rectangular school cafeteria pizzas. In fact, they were so popular that the school gave you an option to pay a little more to get two pieces. They didn’t do that for any other item. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2009, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338/40 "2009-05-05T19:49:17Z")
You could have shingled a roof with the crust used on what our junior high school attempted to pass off as pizza. Absolute worst crap of a pizza I ever tried to eat. Some store-bought pizza is decent, but most take-out beats it, even the major chains. I agree, Chuck E. Cheese is barely palatable for me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-enjoy-bad-pizza/495338.md?page=3)