# I Don't Get and Am Sick of Trans-Stuff **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 12, 2016, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519 "2016-08-12T02:10:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 31
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/603 "2017-11-26T12:04:14Z")
I really wish this thread would get locked. Whenever I see the title on the front page, I involuntarily flash on an image of somebody getting Really Sick in a Trans-Am. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/604 "2017-11-26T12:26:07Z")
> [@Turek](#): > > I don’t know about wine, but there are some nice maple-flavored breakfast whiskeys. Part of me viscerally objects to this. But another part of me wants… ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/605 "2017-11-26T16:50:20Z")
> [@kamino neko](#): > > part of me viscerally objects to this. > > But another part of me wants… Trans! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/606 "2017-11-26T18:29:35Z")
> [@My\_Dog\_Jack](#): > > I don’t hate you but keep it up and you might just get me there… Well, Let me help you along with that, sweet cheeks. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/607 "2017-11-26T18:39:08Z")
I was at something the other day where the person leading the discussion wanted everyone to “tell us your name, where you live and what your pronouns are.” Since I had no idea WTF the last part meant, I left. I think I’m too old for today’s world. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/608 "2017-11-26T19:38:13Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I really wish this thread would get locked. Whenever I see the title on the front page, I involuntarily flash on an image of somebody getting Really Sick in a Trans-Am. Well something like this would certainly make me do so: > [@Turek](#): > > I don’t know about wine, but there are some nice maple-flavored breakfast whiskeys. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/609 "2017-11-26T19:50:07Z")
> [@Turek](#): > > I don’t know about wine, but there are some nice maple-flavored breakfast whiskeys. I had maple Crown Royal on Thursday. That did not work for me. At all. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/610 "2017-11-26T21:01:32Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I was at something the other day where the person leading the discussion wanted everyone to “tell us your name, where you live and what your pronouns are.” Since I had no idea WTF the last part meant, I left. I think I’m too old for today’s world. You honestly do not know what the word “pronoun” means? _Seriously?_ Pronouns have been around for like, 10,000 years or so. It’s a very simple question - are you he, she, they, or something else? And the fact that someone showed you courtesy and asked you how you liked to be addressed was enough to cause you to leave? Isn’t that just a tad bit over the top? ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/611 "2017-11-26T21:09:22Z")
At the least, you’d think maybe he’d have stuck around, hoping to find out exactly “WTF the last part meant” rather than just fleeing back into ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/612 "2017-11-26T21:09:55Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I had maple Crown Royal on Thursday. That did not work for me. At all. Maple Royal Crown, on the other hand, is delicious. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/613 "2017-11-26T21:09:56Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > You honestly do not know what the word “pronoun” means? _Seriously?_ Pronouns have been around for like, 10,000 years or so. It’s a very simple question - are you he, she, they, or something else? And the fact that someone showed you courtesy and asked you how you liked to be addressed was enough to cause you to leave? Isn’t that just a tad bit over the top? No (perhaps), I think it’s not understanding the question. If someone asked me what pronouns I used 10 years ago, I would have had a blank look on my face. “I?” “Me?” “They”, when referring to a group of others? “You” if referring to someone else that I’m talking to? Not until I heard the question in the context of gender identity did I have any understanding of what was actually being asked. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/614 "2017-11-26T21:11:07Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I was at something the other day where the person leading the discussion wanted everyone to “tell us your name, where you live and what your pronouns are.” Since I had no idea WTF the last part meant, I left. I think I’m too old for today’s world. Some people are transgender but don’t display it or pass poorly or look androgynous. Other people prefer to be called by non-gendered pronouns. Some people are genderfluid. It’s pretty straightforward - they want to know how to refer to you - he, she, they, xe, etc. Because just because it’s self-explanatory for the majority doesn’t mean you shouldn’t attempt to make the minority feel more comfortable. This is assuming you literally didn’t get it, and aren’t just being a dismissive douche. But I recognize your name and I’m pretty sure that the latter doesn’t really describe you. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/615 "2017-11-26T21:14:06Z")
I wouldn’t have gotten this, either. For me, it’s “you” if talking directly to me, “he” or “him” if talking about me in the third person, and “me, myself, and I” if I’m talking about myself. Anybody else, of course, I’ll call them whatever they prefer to be called. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/616 "2017-11-26T21:30:34Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > You honestly do not know what the word “pronoun” means? _Seriously?_ Pronouns have been around for like, 10,000 years or so. It’s a very simple question - are you he, she, they, or something else? And the fact that someone showed you courtesy and asked you how you liked to be addressed was enough to cause you to leave? Isn’t that just a tad bit over the top? I know what “pronoun” means, but, if I’d not been exposed to trans/enby stuff, I’d be quite confused about what they were asking for when saying “what are your pronouns?” Having it mean “what pronouns do you prefer people use when talking about you, but not actually addressing you?” is not as obvious as you might think. And, yes, if I was surrounded by people talking about something I didn’t understand, and it seemed rude to ask for an explanation and interrupt, then I probably would just leave. To be honest, I was actually surprised to learn that people ask this. It makes me feel very slightly uncomfortable to be asked. My deep voice and beard and other male signifiers aren’t enough? Granted, this is a fleeting feeling that doesn’t matter, but I’ve not been misgendered all my life. It surprises me that more binary trans people don’t find it insulting and worry if they don’t actually pass. And here’s hoping that didn’t create self-doubt in anyone. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/617 "2017-11-26T21:32:16Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > No (perhaps), I think it’s not understanding the question. If someone asked me what pronouns I used 10 years ago, I would have had a blank look on my face. “I?” “Me?” “They”, when referring to a group of others? “You” if referring to someone else that I’m talking to? > > Not until I heard the question in the context of gender identity did I have any understanding of what was actually being asked. You may have had a blank look on your face, and you may have asked questions about what they meant, but would you have left? ETA: and in response to BigT’s response. The entire point of asking the question may not have been to confuse people, but instead, to open up the discussion of what pronouns people prefer to have used around them. I doubt that it’d be rude to ask, and even if it were, then you can see how others answer the question. Besides, it could be interesting to just throw down a “her”, and “she”, and see how I like being referred to with different gender pronouns for an evening. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2017, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/618 "2017-11-26T21:53:37Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > You may have had a blank look on your face, and you may have asked questions about what they meant, but would you have left? > > ETA: and in response to BigT’s response. > > The entire point of asking the question may not have been to confuse people, but instead, to open up the discussion of what pronouns people prefer to have used around them. I doubt that it’d be rude to ask, and even if it were, then you can see how others answer the question. Besides, it could be interesting to just throw down a “her”, and “she”, and see how I like being referred to with different gender pronouns for an evening. That’s true, I wouldn’t have just walked out. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/619 "2017-11-27T00:17:34Z")
Maybe an explanation of why they’re asking about pronouns first would’ve helped, then. To clear up confusion. “Hey, we’re going to have you tell us your ‘pronouns’ because X.” You know, to avoid any misunderstandings, or people taking offense where none is intended. People aren’t born knowing these things, and the whole, “I don’t have time to educate you!” (which I’ve seen people say) can be off puting and tends to alienate those who genuinely WANT to learn. “Never assume malice what can be explained by ignorance, blah blah blah”. Or however that phrase goes. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/620 "2017-11-27T00:48:54Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > You honestly do not know what the word “pronoun” means? _Seriously?_ Pronouns have been around for like, 10,000 years or so. It’s a very simple question - are you he, she, they, or something else? And the fact that someone showed you courtesy and asked you how you liked to be addressed was enough to cause you to leave? Isn’t that just a tad bit over the top? Fight or flight response, if you will. I have never heard anybody ask what someone else’s “pronouns” are. Since I had no idea what was expected and didn’t want to embarrass myself, I eased myself out of it. I also don’t think I need to identify that way. If others do, that’s their choice, but putting everyone on the spot seems wrong. By the way, I don’t understand how a person can be identified as a “they”, unless multiple personalities are involved. Please explain. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/621 "2017-11-27T01:03:47Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > By the way, I don’t understand how a person can be identified as a “they”, unless multiple personalities are involved. Please explain. Since “they” has been used as a singular in situations of gender uncertainty since the 14th century, when gender neutrality became an issue, some people chose to use it to refer to themselves to avoid having to use a particular gender construct. The American Dialect Society chose “they” as the [2015 Word of the Year](https://www.americandialect.org/2015-word-of-the-year-is-singular-they), in the meaning “gender-neutral singular pronoun for a known person, as a non-binary identifier.” ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2017, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519/622 "2017-11-27T01:44:21Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Fight or flight response, if you will. I have never heard anybody ask what someone else’s “pronouns” are. Since I had no idea what was expected and didn’t want to embarrass myself, I eased myself out of it. OK, that’s cool. > [@](#): > > I also don’t think I need to identify that way. So you never use pronouns to describe yourself? I thought the only people who didn’t use pronouns to identify themselves were Bob Dole and professional wrestlers. > [@](#): > > If others do, that’s their choice, but putting everyone on the spot seems wrong. It’s actually the opposite. It’s showing respect for your gender identity, whatever it may be. > [@](#): > > By the way, I don’t understand how a person can be identified as a “they”, unless multiple personalities are involved. Please explain. “They” - generic term that can be used for both multiple persons and an individual. I was taught this about 45 years ago in 1st grade. You’ve never in all your life and all your time online ever encountered anyone using “they” as a generic, genderless term? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519.md?page=30) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-and-am-sick-of-trans-stuff/762519.md?page=32)