# I don't get it: What is 'Trophy Wife' supposed to mean? Why do they exist? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 18, 2011, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830 "2011-02-18T18:06:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![No\_Wikipedia\_Cites](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@No\_Wikipedia\_Cites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_Wikipedia_Cites)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/1 "2011-02-18T18:06:26Z")
I keep hearing the phrase “Trophy Wife” thrown about I suppose it means a wealthier older man with a significantly younger woman. But I don’t get it. Does Trophy signify that Uncle Moneybags just wants to show off a honey (and we are supposed to recognize that he has status and wealth to balance the disadvantage of his advancing age? And then be impressed?) Or is it just that older men are attracted (it seems) to as young a female as society will legally let them have, or consent to them, and they really don’t care about anything else? (And so we call them Trophy wives because we are bitter at Old Man Moneybag’s moneybags) And are the ‘trophy wives’ not only younger but also beautiful? Many younger women are ug-oes. Do they have to be both young and perfect 10? I dont get it. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/2 "2011-02-18T18:14:03Z")
Some women are attracted to men with money even if the man is ugly or old. This allows an ugly, old but wealthy man to offset his obvious physical unattractiveness with a clear sign that a younger woman who is very attractive is sleeping with him. Or maybe he isn’t that interested in buying a second yacht. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/3 "2011-02-18T18:23:30Z")
I think that the notion of a trophy wife isn’t necessarily young or hot (although they usually are), but rather choosing a wife to project a certain image instead of for love. That could mean marrying a prim, proper, matronly woman to appear more respectable, or marrying a young hippie chick to appear more freewheeling. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/4 "2011-02-18T18:23:52Z")
I don’t think a Trophy Wife need be very young, or younger than her husband at all. In fact, my sister in law is a perfect Trophy Wife, and she’s four years older than her husband. But still smokin’ hot. In my head, Trophy Wife is a \*beautiful \*woman who doesn’t generally work, unless it’s at fundraisers or charities, doesn’t use whatever education she has (that is, she may have a degree, but she doesn’t work at a job requiring it) and spends quite a bit of money to keep her appearances tip top - gym memberships, frequent spa and salon visits, new dresses for every occasion, etc. The Trophy Wife is concerned with her husband’s career far more than hers, if hers even exists, and she considers it her job to make him look successful, virile and affluent by making herself look very well “taken care of”. She’s smart, and pretty, and can make appropriate small talk at dinner parties thrown by his workplace, but she’s not much interested in creating success for herself, but through him. Although, all that being said, I’ve teased my SO about being his Trophy Wife (and I add, “But hey, not every trophy is First Place!”) simply because I am so much younger than he is. There \*is \*definitely a strong connotation that a Trophy Wife is beautiful, and since we tend to find younger women more beautiful, I think the concepts have been conflated a bit. But in reality, there are Trophy Wives in their forties, and while I’m younger, I’m not really a Trophy Wife at all, so age difference isn’t the determinate factor here. ---
**Author:** ![heathen\_earthling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/13edae/32.png) [@heathen\_earthling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heathen_earthling)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/5 "2011-02-18T18:24:48Z")
To me it just implies that he is primarily interested in her physical attractiveness, and she is primarily interested in his money/status. I don’t think it is a requirement that the man be significantly older than the woman. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/6 "2011-02-18T18:37:50Z")
I think younger definitely is part of the equation. What else is a trophy but something shiny and signifies that you’ve won something? If she’s young and pretty, that means “I’ve got status significant enough to attract this … and by the way don’t you wish you were me?” Myself, I am a trophy-wife wannabe; though I’m younger than my husband by a decade, I’m not young and hot enough to be anyone’s trophy. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Heyoka13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Heyoka13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heyoka13)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/7 "2011-02-18T18:47:06Z")
I would contend, by definition, a trophy wife is the second wife. The first did her duty raising the kids, standing behind her man as he struggled to the top, made what ever personal sacrifices were needed to support the family, and then when he gets the ‘itch’, boom, she is chucked as quickly and cheaply and as with as little regards to her feelings and sacrifices as possible, just for the thrill of some hot arm candy. If the first wife is living, bitter, older, and heavier than the second wife, it is an automatic trophy wife scenario. Not that there is anything wrong with that . . . . ---
**Author:** ![Mk\_VII](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mk\_VII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mk_VII)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/8 "2011-02-18T18:52:20Z")
An example would be Bernie Ecclestone [http://www.gstaadlife.com/2008/02/bernie-ecclesto.html](http://www.gstaadlife.com/2008/02/bernie-ecclesto.html) ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/9 "2011-02-18T18:54:13Z")
In my understanding, trophy wives are never first wives. The first wife is the one who helped the guy on his way up, and then is dumped for someone younger and (now) more attractive. There are cases of men marrying for money, or for the woman’s social position, but I wouldn’t consider them trophy wives. I guess it is possible for them to be involved in charities, but not required. Attractive people marry other attractive people of more or less the same age all the time, but that isn’t the trophy wife case either. ---
**Author:** ![Heyoka13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Heyoka13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heyoka13)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/10 "2011-02-18T18:57:59Z")
Why do they exist? Men are _peegs_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/11 "2011-02-18T19:09:40Z")
The Trophy Wife is more of a prize than The Young Bimbo. She is usually beautiful & may be younger than Hubby. She is also educated, socially skilled & “accomplished.” In the old days, accomplishments were fancy sewing, playing an instrument & speaking French; now, athletic skills & the right sort of volunteer work are what count. She _might_ work–as an entrepreneur or as a professional. But she will have time to look good on Hubbie’s arm as he moves in more rarefied circles. Wifie #1 supported Hubbie as he built his career & kept the kids out of his hair. She’s probably kept herself looking pretty good–but she’s not Brand New any more. Since she did quite well in the divorce, she shouldn’t complain. (She will still do volunteer work–just for the less-glamorous causes; Diseases, rather than Cutting Edge Art Groups.) Trophy Wife might give Hubbie a baby or two–with a full staff to handle the messy stuff. And he will take time out to enjoy the babies; they will be revelations! The kids from the first marriage have trust funds–they shouldn’t complain, either. (The Houston society pages are quite educational.) ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/12 "2011-02-18T19:17:38Z")
I don’t get the reason for this thread even existing. Of course the guy is trying to show off, that’s the definition of trophy. WTF? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/13 "2011-02-18T19:23:10Z")
I never understood [this Thurber cartoon](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://sweatandsprezzatura.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/062108.jpg%3Fw%3D395%26h%3D327&imgrefurl=http://sweatandsprezzatura.wordpress.com/2010/09/01/the-naked-woman-on-top-of-the-bookcase/&usg=__b82hYfeCi17oJKQ--ToN8m0g4G0=&h=294&w=350&sz=35&hl=en&start=0&sig2=tNpjsfDi7rLN3mvN7myJgw&zoom=1&tbnid=zQVKN3VSrHhfGM:&tbnh=144&tbnw=173&ei=2cZeTZDLNYujtgflx-TVCw&prev=/images%3Fq%3DThurber%2Bcartoon%2Bmy%2Bfirst%2Bwife%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1239%26bih%3D782%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=132&vpy=92&dur=1076&hovh=206&hovw=245&tx=135&ty=105&oei=2cZeTZDLNYujtgflx-TVCw&page=1&ndsp=25&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0) until now. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/14 "2011-02-18T19:30:49Z")
In my opinion, a trophy wife is won or bought - the love that most people marry for isn’t really part of the equation. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/15 "2011-02-18T19:49:18Z")
I don’t think that a trophy wife has to be a second wife, young, beautiful, or a lazy princess. Nor does the husband necessarily have to be a tool or a showoff. The only criteria is that she increase his social status. But I think that the term is usually used by cynical or jealous people. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/16 "2011-02-18T19:50:41Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > I think younger definitely is part of the equation. What else is a trophy but something shiny and signifies that you’ve won something? If she’s young and pretty, that means “I’ve got status significant enough to attract this … and by the way don’t you wish you were me?” This has always been my understanding. The trophy wife is a young hottie that the guy couldn’t get if he wasn’t rich and powerful. She’s a statement to the other guys: “Look! I’m bangin’ a 23-year old aerobics instructor!” ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/17 "2011-02-18T19:52:55Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I don’t think that a trophy wife has to be a second wife, young, beautiful, or a lazy princess. Nor does the husband necessarily have to be a tool or a showoff. The only criteria is that she increase his social status. No way. If the hypothetically-single I married (the also hypothetically-single) Meg Whitman that would definitely raise my social status and she would in no way be a trophy wife. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/18 "2011-02-18T19:58:24Z")
> [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > No way. If the hypothetically-single I married (the also hypothetically-single) Meg Whitman that would definitely raise my social status and she would in no way be a trophy wife. Some people would call her one though. Because they would think that there’s no way you could actually love a bimbo like that. ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/19 "2011-02-18T20:05:58Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > doesn’t use whatever education she has (that is, she may have a degree, but she doesn’t work at a job requiring it) Of course, this describes the a fair majority of jobs, especially in the service sector where the college credential is valued more as an IQ/diligence test than a way of learning stuff. \ > [@](#): > > This has always been my understanding. The trophy wife is a young hottie that the guy couldn’t get if he wasn’t rich and powerful. She’s a statement to the other guys: “Look! I’m bangin’ a 23-year old aerobics instructor!” Yeah, I’d say mutual status climbing is the key here - the girl gets to say “hey I have a rich/powerful husband”; the guy gets to say “hey, I’m banging a hot chick” Of course the male hindbrain _is_ attracted to nubile ladies and the female hindbrain _is_ attracted to status and power, so it’s tough to draw the line of what’s “real” (socially legitimate) love and what’s socially illegitimate status climbing. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830/20 "2011-02-18T20:24:55Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Some people would call her one though. Because they would think that there’s no way you could actually love a bimbo like that. Not on this planet they wouldn’t. A pool boy marrying a 60 year old rich widow does not have a trophy wife - though she might have a trophy husband. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-get-it-what-is-trophy-wife-supposed-to-mean-why-do-they-exist/571830.md?page=2)