# I don't have a girlfriend anymore **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 21, 2000, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134 "2000-11-21T15:40:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/41 "2000-11-21T17:21:06Z")
I have _got_ to start waking up earlier. I always miss this stuff in the mornings. Congrats, Crunchy! (whoo hoo! I have the gender right this time!) Salud! ::toasts the happy couple with a mug of milk:: ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/42 "2000-11-21T17:24:27Z")
\*Froggy went a-courtin’ and he did ride, Ding-dang-dong go the wedding bells… Here’s to Cheshire, Here’s to cheese, Here’s to the pears and the apple trees, And here’s to the lovely strawberries… Ding-dang-dong go the wedding bells!\* May you two have a very happy future together. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/43 "2000-11-21T18:00:17Z")
Wonderful news! Mazel Tov to you both! ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/44 "2000-11-21T18:18:27Z")
Con-grads!! Good Luck! and Best wishes!! Hey, the title had me mislead too! Never again will I take that frog seriously. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/45 "2000-11-21T18:23:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*For any newbies who don’t know what we’re talking about, here’s the [infamous tuxedo jacket](http://home.att.net/~jskellogg/lynda/linda28.htm) I wore to my sister’s wedding reception. > \*\* What sofa did you skin to make that thing? Poor Sofa. ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/46 "2000-11-21T18:27:43Z")
Congratulations!!! I’m sure your proposal was far more romantic than a contest to see who could pique your interest the most. I’m sure you’ll be very happy. [/QUOTE] Does anyone know a good virtual divorce lawyer??? Does this mean we have to return all the tacky wedding presents we received? 😕 I heard you have to give them all back if the marriage lasts less than a year. (1 months & 3 days. Who would have thought we would last this long) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/47 "2000-11-21T18:29:42Z")
Oh yay! I am oh so happy for you! Woo woo, congratulations!! ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/48 "2000-11-21T18:32:47Z")
Congratulations! Please tell Honesty hi for me, and that I send her my best. Also, whatever became of her little turtle? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/49 "2000-11-21T18:41:22Z")
**Silo** - people have been taking me seriously?! **little\*bit** - Why do we need to get virtually divorced? It’s not like the virtual marriage was legal or anything. I’ll still need an SO here on the boards. **Anthracite** - her turtle is fine. If you’re referring to the alligator snapping turtle her father had, he’s given it to the zoo last I heard. ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/50 "2000-11-21T18:49:56Z")
I guess a divorce isn’t _necessary_. I just figured 2 wives was more than any man should be asked to handle. There’s a strange sort of satisfaction in the knowledge that I will always be your first wife. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/51 "2000-11-21T20:16:26Z")
Dude, I’m only going to offer one peice of advise. Don’t feed her any wedding cake at the reception. It’ll cure her nymphomainia! Congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/52 "2000-11-21T20:37:59Z")
\ Another one bites the dust. God giveth SD flirting, but man taketh away. 😃 Who loves you Froggy baby? Congrats to you and the Mrs. When she boots you out you can come stay at my place. ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/53 "2000-11-21T20:47:44Z")
Congrats, Crunchy! ::: hoists glass in honor of the impending nuptuials ::: ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/54 "2000-11-21T20:48:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nymysys \* > \ Another one bites the dust. God giveth SD flirting, but man taketh away. If it makes you feel any better, I still plan to be the flirtatious board slut I’ve always been. Honesty doesn’t mind, she knows my flirting is just for fun. > [@](#): > > When she boots you out you can come stay at my place. Great, now I’ll be looking for a reason to pick a fight and get booted out. Thanks a lot, Nymysys. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/55 "2000-11-21T20:53:25Z")
Firstly, Crunch, allow me to extend my laurel-&-hearty handshake on your recent betroth-ment. Next: > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by little_bit \* > **Does anyone know a good virtual divorce lawyer???** May I offer my services as a completely unqualified virtual-lawyer? Quickie Mexicans a specialty. Quickie Mexican divorces also a specialty. 🙂 Let’s get this over with… Your Honor, we petition for a quickie Mexican divorce on the grounds of alienation of affectation caused by someone purportedly referred to as “Honesty”. Judge: **So ordered, get this two timing** \ **out of my courtroom!** Baliff, assisted by Tygr, bundles Mr. Frog out of courtroom. Tygr turns to the ex Mrs. C. Frog. “So, how YOU doin’?” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/56 "2000-11-21T21:10:49Z")
Hey, **Tygr** , didn’t read past that post? She said she didn’t see any reason for us to get virtually divorced after all. Geez, even fake virtual lawyers are as sleazy as the real thing! ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/57 "2000-11-21T21:35:49Z")
AHH!! Glad 'tiss good news! May your love age as gracefully as you two age together through the years. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/58 "2000-11-21T21:37:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > **If it makes you feel any better, I still plan to be the flirtatious board slut I’ve always been. Honesty doesn’t mind, she knows my flirting is just for fun.** WELL then! How **you** doin, hon? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/59 "2000-11-21T21:39:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*Geez, even fake virtual lawyers are as sleazy as the real thing! \*\* 😃 You’ll be getting my virtual-bill… little\*bit: I’t seems to me that Mr. Frog isn’t treating this situation with the virtual gravitas it deserves. Might I interest you in filing for virtual palimony? Have your machine call my machine; we’ll do virtual lunch. ---
**Author:** ![degroof](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ba9def/32.png) [@degroof](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/degroof)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134/60 "2000-11-21T22:16:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > I told her things were changing and that we just shouldn’t be boyfriend/girlfriend anymore. I told her that I was thinking of a change in our relationship. Hopefully you didn’t pause _too_ long here. > [@](#): > > Then I pulled the little box out of my pocket and showed her the ring and asked her to marry me. Good thing you didn’t forget the ring. Could’ve gotten ugly. (pictures Mr. Frog frantically searching pockets for ring while would-be fiance considers the potential lethality of various pieces of dinnerware) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-girlfriend-anymore/42134.md?page=4)