# I don't have a sister **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 12, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940 "2001-08-12T21:25:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/81 "2001-08-15T08:04:04Z")
_“Take Feynn’s advice, because it’s wickedly brilliant, and let us know how it goes.”_ I guess I should add “wickedly brilliant” to my resume and say thank you to Beadalin for the compliment. Guin - I didn’t have much time to post this morning as I was on my way to work. Work for me happens to be Rehabilitation and one of my specialties and strengths is designing behavioural management strategies and guidelines for interventions. If my suggestion doesn’t work feel free to call on me and I am sure we could work out something that does work. As a rule, you should give a behavioural management strategy six weeks and then re-assess to see if the strategy is effective in reducing the incidence of undesirable behaviour. Since your sister has been at this for quite some time it may take a while to cure her. Besides the big hugs you might find that some big smooches are needed as well. Now, where in the fuck did I put those matches? Ah, there they are… Only from the “my daddy married his sister” school of thought would someone deny that ADD exists. I am one of many professionals that would not agree with the inestimable Crafter\_Man. I do agree with him when he says he should be beaten… with a pot full of noodles, al dente of course. 🙂 Phlip - I would like to see where in the handbook for 16 year old girls it says they are supposed to be cock teasing bitches. It shouldn’t come as any surprise that people would like to put you on a spit and roast you for making such commentary. Some of us have daughters (or sisters) and don’t take kindly to people generalizing about them in such a derogatory manner. ---
**Author:** ![Infectious\_Lass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e56c9b/32.png) [@Infectious\_Lass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infectious_Lass)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/82 "2001-08-15T15:19:26Z")
Hi it’s me again! I think I have gotten over that silly “I can’t read anymore eeeek” thing-I read the rest of the thread like a good brave little soldier 🙂 Thankyou Jr8 and Guinastasia for the nice things you said. I hope I did my bit to reinforce the simple truth that still living at home as an adult does _not_ mean you are ‘not properly mature’ If you don’t live at home you have more responsibilities yes-and sometimes taking on those extra responsibilities does make some people more mature, but if a person is mature already, how exactly does the fact that they are not currently exercising those responsibilities mean they are less mature? I don’t currently have the ability to er say look after an elephant, or manage the budget of a small eastern European country. Does that mean I wouldn’t be able to if I had to? no. To say that just because you haven’t exercised these responsibilities yet you somehow are less mature than people who have-that is just simply not true. Why is something inherently more worthwile because it is in the future rather than the present? And moving out on my own is a long term goal I’m discussing with my counselor so I will be moving out eventually hopefully-I know it isn’t ideal. And I don’t drive either like Guinastasia! That dosen’t make it easy either as she said! Thanks for the nice things you said about my name Jr8! Okay you convinced me, I’ll keep it:) I was a bit concerned that people might think it was to do with herpes and stuff and think it was obscene. Yes it is a comic book character, she’s a member of the Legion of Substitute Heroes. And okay since this is the Pit-FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING SHITTY FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKK!!! Yay. That was fun! ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/83 "2001-08-15T15:34:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crafter\_Man \* > **Side note: My wife is a registered nurse, and grew up in Hong Kong. She said ADD is virtually non-existent there. I found this odd; if it’s truly a disease, you’d think every country would be experiencing it.** That’s about the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Met anyone in the U.S. with malaria lately? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/84 "2001-08-15T15:39:09Z")
As far as it’s easy to find jobs-depends on the area. In Pittsburgh, decent jobs right now are hard to find. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/85 "2001-08-15T15:46:16Z")
Crafter\_Man: ADHD is not a disease, perse, but a disorder-it is caused by a chemical imbalance. And I NEVER blamed my problems soley on that. I simply said, it makes it HARDER for me. It does not mean that I can’t do anything, or that I am not responsible. My point of posting those threads was to say, your credibility is not very high around here. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/86 "2001-08-15T16:00:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pldennison \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Crafter\_Man \* > > **Side note: My wife is a registered nurse, and grew up in Hong Kong. She said ADD is virtually non-existent there. I found this odd; if it’s truly a disease, you’d think every country would be experiencing it.** > > That’s about the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. > > Met anyone in the U.S. with malaria lately? \*\* Um, are you saying ADD is an infectious disease, i.e. it can be _contracted_?! ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/87 "2001-08-15T16:05:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crafter\_Man \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by pldennison \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by Crafter\_Man \* > > > **Side note: My wife is a registered nurse, and grew up in Hong Kong. She said ADD is virtually non-existent there. I found this odd; if it’s truly a disease, you’d think every country would be experiencing it.** > > > > That’s about the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. > > > > Met anyone in the U.S. with malaria lately? \*\* > > Um, are you saying ADD is an infectious disease, i.e. it can be _contracted_?! \*\* No, I’m saying that regardless of the nature of any given disease, it does not have to occur in every country to be genuine. Such a notion is patently silly. There could very well be climactic differences or dietary differences between the United States and Hong Kong that account for differences in the neurotransmitter levels that result in ADHD and ADHD. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/88 "2001-08-15T16:14:19Z")
Guinastasia, I’m not trying to beat up on you. I’m simply trying to do the _right_ thing by telling you to take responsibility for your own life, and to not blame _your_ problems on others. Someone needs to speak the truth here… You also complain about not having any money, and not being able to finds a decent job. Guinastasia, you have posted 4745 messages in 13 months. That’s 84 a week. And that’s just on this board! If you were to put the time and energy you put into this board _into a job_, then I’m confident you would make something of yourself. Why hasn’t your mom or dad pulled the plug on your computer? As I’ve repeatedly told you, the best medicine for you is _forced responsibility_. As soon as you graduate, your parents need to boot you out of the house. You’ll hate it at first, but it will be the best thing for you in the long run. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/89 "2001-08-15T16:19:18Z")
For one thing, I’m picky about where I want to work. For another, I also have school and my internship to deal with. And WHERE did I blame my problems on someone else? I simply said, my sister was pissing me off… _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/90 "2001-08-15T16:22:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pldennison \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Crafter\_Man \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by pldennison \* > > > \*\* > > > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > > > \*Originally posted by Crafter\_Man \* > > > > **Side note: My wife is a registered nurse, and grew up in Hong Kong. She said ADD is virtually non-existent there. I found this odd; if it’s truly a disease, you’d think every country would be experiencing it.** > > > > > > That’s about the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. > > > > > > Met anyone in the U.S. with malaria lately? \*\* > > > > Um, are you saying ADD is an infectious disease, i.e. it can be _contracted_?! \*\* > > No, I’m saying that regardless of the nature of any given disease, it does not have to occur in every country to be genuine. Such a notion is patently silly. > > There could very well be climactic differences or dietary differences between the United States and Hong Kong that account for differences in the neurotransmitter levels that result in ADHD and ADHD. \*\* Me thinks you’re grasping straws. It is my opinion (which many professionals share) that ADD is a trendy disease designed to provide parents with a “medical” excuse for their children’s bratty behavior. ADD isn’t the only one; there are lots of trendy “diseases” specifically designed to absolve personal responsibility. Take alcoholism, for example. “It’s not my fault; I’m an alcoholic!” Yea, whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/91 "2001-08-15T16:34:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crafter\_Man \* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by pldennison \* > > There could very well be climatic differences or dietary differences between the United States and Hong Kong that account for differences in the neurotransmitter levels that result in ADHD and ADHD. \*\* > > Me thinks you’re grasping straws. > > It is my opinion (which many professionals share) that ADD is a trendy disease designed to provide parents with a “medical” excuse for their children’s bratty behavior. But, as you yourself pointed out, **most** child psychologists think it’s a real medical condition. Just because they get paid to treat it doesn’t automatically remove their credibility, anymore than a doctor diagnosing an illness he or she treats makes him or her automatically suspect. > [@](#): > > ADD isn’t the only one; there are lots of trendy “diseases” specifically designed to absolve personal responsibility. Take alcoholism, for example. “It’s not my fault; I’m an alcoholic!” Yea, whatever. Alcoholism as a “trendy disease”? That’s a new one on me. I don’t know anyone who says that alcoholism absolves one from responsible behavior, merely that it often leads to irresponsible behavior. So what’s your view on dyslexia? Genuine medical condition, or just too damn stupid to learn to read? How about AIDS? Is it a “trendy disease”? It certainly got a lot of media attention. And how about those Legionnaires – was it all in their heads? ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/92 "2001-08-15T16:35:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crafter\_Man \* > **Me thinks you’re grasping straws.** Yes, because we all know that what you ingest into your body has absolutely no effect on the way your brain operates. And that things your parents do while you’re _in vitro_ cannot possibly affect your brain chemistry. Nope. Never happens. > [@](#): > > It is my opinion (which many professionals share) You know, silent or invisible majorities are a poor cite. > [@](#): > > that ADD is a trendy disease designed to provide parents with a “medical” excuse for their children’s bratty behavior. Of course, it’s just coincidence that giving Ritalin to a “normal” person has an amphetamine effect, whereas giving it to someone properly diagnosed with ADD or ADHD results in less hyperactivity and better focus. Right? Is ADD perhaps overdiagnosed? Probably. Does that make it any less real? Nope. > [@](#): > > ADD isn’t the only one; there are lots of trendy “diseases” specifically designed to absolve personal responsibility. Take alcoholism, for example. “It’s not my fault; I’m an alcoholic!” Yea, whatever. I’ve never heard an alcoholic say any such thing. In any case, if you’re going to deny that there is a significant genetic component to predisposition towards alcoholism, I’m afraid you’re going to be quite, quite embarrassed. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/93 "2001-08-15T17:18:34Z")
> [@](#): > > ADD isn’t the only one; there are lots of trendy “diseases” specifically designed to absolve personal responsibility. Take alcoholism, for example. “It’s not my fault; I’m an alcoholic!” Yea, whatever. Yeah, and what about this “nearsightedness”? Damn lazy kids could see the board if they’d just try! Dr. J ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/94 "2001-08-15T17:24:41Z")
CRAFTER – My brother is an alcoholic who finally got his drinking under control. He doesn’t have a college degree because he drank away the opportunity to get one and now he’s married with a family and can’t get back to school except for a class here, a class there. My uncles (mother’s brothers) are alcoholics, one of whom has been distanced from the family because he never calls or visits unless he wants money and because he cannot refrain from getting drunk and behaving badly when he _is_ around. The other uncle is a homeless person so crippled by alcohol addiction that he has not held a job in over fifteen years, and at this point his family doesn’t know where he is or if he’s dead or alive. My biological grandfather (mother’s father) was also a homeless hobo (due to alcoholism) who was murdered for a bottle in a gutter in Denver. But I’m sure they’d all be thrilled to hear that they are “trendy.” ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/95 "2001-08-15T17:28:27Z")
Trendy or not, they obviously weren’t taking any responsibility for themselves. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/96 "2001-08-15T18:21:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Oh and Phlip? The apostrophe is your bitch and is ready and willing to be used. I just had to say that’s one of the funniest thing I’ve read on the boards in a long time. ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/97 "2001-08-16T01:11:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Side note: My wife is a registered nurse, and grew up in Hong Kong. She said ADD is virtually non-existent there. I found this odd; if it’s truly a disease, you’d think every country would be experiencing it. Just last week the _Far Eastern Economic Review_ had an [excellent article](http://www.feer.com/2001/0108_09/p026innov.html) about mental health in Asia, especially Hong Kong. Here are some quotes: > [@](#): > > “People think that if doctors treat their physical symptoms then they will be able to deal with their own emotions and cheer up,” says Cindy Lam, an associate professor in the family medicine unit at The University of Hong Kong. “They’re blaming their bad mood on their physical health but really it’s the other way around.” > [@](#): > > Asian countries desperately need a model because mental-health problems here still carry a huge stigma, are under-recognized and under-treated. > [@](#): > > In Hong Kong, about one-third of people admit they are not working as effectively as they should be because of mental or emotional problems. Seems that perhaps there are other reasons that ADD isn’t noticed there. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/98 "2001-08-16T06:29:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crafter\_Man \* > \*\*Take alcoholism, for example. “It’s not my fault; I’m an alcoholic!” Yea, whatever. \*\* On behalf of all the other recovering addicts and alcoholics here, let me just say ‘Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, you slimy piece of shit!’ Or was that over the top? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/99 "2001-08-16T12:24:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crafter\_Man \* > **Phlip: I agree with everything you’ve said. So are we alone in this?** [Yes](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=82138). You are, rather. And while I’m not Phlip, I don’t think he wants to be alone with you in any sense of the word. > [@](#): > > Guinastasia, you sound as if you’re 23 going on 12. I mean, just listen to how you describe your sister. You called her a This is the Pit, where we are allowed (sometimes even encouraged!) to use such language. Some of us find it cathartic. Think it’s immature? Go blow a fork. > [@](#): > > My estimate is that you were a very spoiled and undisciplined kid growing up, and your parents have continued this treatment to this day. They thought they were “helping” you by never insisting you take responsibility for your actions, but instead they created a brat. Don’t tell me . . . you took a (developmental, possibly) psychology class in high school or college so you feel qualified to speculate on the upbringing of a person you’ve never met, and you’re making these statements based solely on what you’ve read in this thread. It is by the grace of God that the gene pool hasn’t become a solid mass of waste by now. Please get out now; there are stairs to your left and you’ll find nice towels in the bathroom up ahead, marked “Darwin’s Exceptions.” I expect that brown filth emanating from your general presence in the pool to go away within a week or so. > [@](#): > > So what you _really_ need, Guinastasia, is a healthy dose of **responsibility**. What you _really_ need, Crafter\_Man, is to take this thread and read Guin’s posts until your eyes bleed. Then gouge them out, because they’re obviously doing you ill by deceiving you into thinking Guin doesn’t already have lots of responsibility. > [@](#): > > If I were your father, There’d be a LOT more Pit threads if you were her father. I think she might well disown herself rather than face THAT. > [@](#): > > You will quickly realize that your sister was a non-problem when compared to _real_ problems, and your maturity level will grow. “Clean-up in Aisle 5 . . . the big-ass sponge fell into the water and his ego is over-inflated again.” > [@](#): > > Lastly Guinastasia, do not blame your personal problems and deficiencies on OCD and the so-called ADHD. Go to Hell. Go directly to Hell. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. [/quote] That’s a cop-out. Hell, I don’t even think the latter is a real disease. [/QUOTE] Good for you. The APA disagrees on both accounts, and if I could find that blasted AbPsych book that’s helped me out so many times I’d be able to cram so much information on BOTH down your throat that you’d drown in the stuff before you got out of our beloved gene pool. However, google is a lovely tool when used correctly. Here’s some info on [OCD](http://anxiety.psy.ohio-state.edu/ocd1.htm) and that non-disease [ADHD](http://www.mhsanctuary.com/add/dsm.htm). Now, before you go crying to me that neither of these is an official APA page, let me point out to you the following things: 1. On the bottom of the ADHD page, if you read, it says: “DSM IV - May 26, 1999,” which means “This was taken from the DSM-IV.” 2. The top of the OCD page starts thus: “The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV) is a guide to the diagnosis of mental disorders in the United States. The following are a list of the criteria for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).” If you have credible medical cites to the contrary of what these seem to indicate (that neither is a cop-out and that ADHD is a real disease), let’s see them now. Otherwise shut your hole. And get out of the damn pool already. ---
**Author:** ![John487](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@John487](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John487)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2001, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940/100 "2001-08-16T12:27:02Z")
two things: 1. crafter man is an idiot. 2. i’m an only child, so you all can blow me. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-have-a-sister/75940.md?page=6)