# I don't know what to do about work, am I overreacting **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 2, 2016, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591 "2016-08-02T22:51:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591/41 "2016-09-12T16:11:53Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > He doesn’t have the right to family leave. He’s not covered by the federal FMLA. But that is not to say he is not covered by a similar state law, which are typically broader (though obviously not so say he is, either). **Wesley** , I feel for you. But I think I know which I would regret more between potentially giving up a job I don’t like or giving up time to spend with my dying mother. Good luck to you, sir. ---
**Author:** ![amaguri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@amaguri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amaguri)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591/42 "2016-09-12T17:10:47Z")
My husband’s mom was dying of cancer. He wasn’t eligible for FMLA because he’d only been at this job for a few months… He asked to take (unpaid) time off and he also offered to work part time but the company asked him to either continue working full time or resign. He resigned, his mom died a few months later, and I don’t think he has any regrets about spending the extra time with his mom. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591/43 "2016-09-12T22:11:58Z")
I do get to spend Friday, Saturday and Sunday with her each week. So it isn’t like she lives on the other side of the country. However, when she takes a turn for the worse I’m going to have to re-evaluate. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2016, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591/44 "2016-09-13T01:43:25Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t know. I don’t know if I can work for a company that treats its employees like that. Am I overreacting? The problem is the market is terrible and jobs are hard to find. I’m terrified I’ll never find another decent job. And this job has various really nice perks (flex time, no traffic, decent time off compared to most jobs, ergonomically safe, etc). Based on your scenario I have to disagree that is necessarily the hill you want to die on with respect to taking a stand. If you get fired by being very demanding on this issue (and per your OP this is the best situation you have ever had) you may never be able to replace this job and poverty and it’s horrors may follow. You’ve got the three days a week with her into the future locked in and your 2 weeks of vacation time pending and you want a few more weeks. A needed worker asking for month off is a big deal to small companies. If I was an elderly dying parent and I had a kid endangering their ability to make a living to stick to my side 24/7 for extended periods of time up to a month or so until the end I would tell them not to do that. I would feel three days a week until I passed is fine. You may feel differently but I don’t think you are being all that abused based on your OP given the time you currently have (3 days a week + 2 weeks vacation to use). Re “12 weeks” of your ex boss childbirth is a very different kettle of fish vs a dying parent. That you are seeing this as your time out due is not a rational assessment of the situation. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591/45 "2017-09-08T22:31:38Z")
Mom survived her cancer and my boss quit. Everything came up Milhouse. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591/46 "2017-09-08T23:46:20Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Mom survived her cancer and my boss quit. > > Everything came up Milhouse. I love a happy ending. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591/47 "2017-09-08T23:46:59Z")
I am glad to hear that your mom is doing well. It sounds like it all worked out OK in the end? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591/48 "2017-09-08T23:49:17Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Mom survived her cancer and my boss quit. > > Everything came up Milhouse. Awesome! I am very happy for you and your mom. Sometimes I really want to believe in Karma. Did your boss quit to “pursue other opportunities” or to “spend more time with family”? That would be even better. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591/49 "2017-09-09T00:02:57Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Awesome! I am very happy for you and your mom. Sometimes I really want to believe in Karma. Did your boss quit to “pursue other opportunities” or to “spend more time with family”? That would be even better. She had personal issues and had to leave. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591/50 "2017-09-09T00:05:19Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > I am glad to hear that your mom is doing well. It sounds like it all worked out OK in the end? Yup. New boss is much better than the old boss, I like her much better than the old one. Also mom is arguably healthier now than she was before her cancer diagnosis. The treatments she got caught the cancer early, but the lifestyle changes she had to make have given her more energy than she had before she got sick. So, so far, things look like they are in the clear. Hopefully mom will be around for another 5-10 years or so. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591/51 "2017-09-09T12:48:25Z")
Glad to hear the good news. Best of luck for the future. ---
**Author:** ![LiliesOfTheField](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c0e974/32.png) [@LiliesOfTheField](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiliesOfTheField)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2017, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591/52 "2017-09-10T21:56:08Z")
Whoops. ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2017, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591/53 "2017-09-17T04:41:37Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > … > > Also mom is arguably healthier now than she was before her cancer diagnosis. The treatments she got caught the cancer early, but the lifestyle changes she had to make have given her more energy than she had before she got sick. > > … Go, Mom! I’m glad things worked out well. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2017, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591/54 "2017-09-17T04:50:35Z")
How’s things with your niece/nephew and parents? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-to-do-about-work-am-i-overreacting/761591.md?page=2)