# I don't know what you're TRYING to do, but you're GOING to get yourself fired. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 1, 2013, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231 "2013-05-01T18:43:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/61 "2013-05-02T17:21:17Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > we’re all human. I’m not. But I am waiting for an update from Skald. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/62 "2013-05-02T17:46:14Z")
A long time ago, I worked for a company that had monthly all-employee meetings. The main agenda topic once was a fashion show. A team of people put together examples of appropriate M-Th attire and inappropriate M-Th attire as well as for casual Fridays (both appropriate and not). We got models to volunteer to model outfits in each category and someone managed to get a local retail store to let us borrow some clothes. (It was cheap too, so there was an undercurrent of “We know we don’t pay you much, but you can still look professional on the cheap.”) I volunteered to model the inappropriate casual Friday outfit – Daisy duke booty shorts, a spaghetti strap tank, no bra, hair in pigtails with a baseball cap (baseball caps were out regardless). While that was one of the more spirited employee meetings and was very fun for all, _making_ it fun and entertaining was a great way to drive the point home without making anyone feel singled out or having to be obtuse assholes to administer the policies consistently. So that’s an idea for managers who want to present the dress code and have the message stick. Visual aids are your friends. Getting real live people to role-play is also really effective. I blame Hollywood/TV for some part of the not understanding how to dress for work. When I worked for that company, Melrose Place was one of the big shows. We had young recent college grads who were all trying to dress like Heather Locklear because that’s what they saw on TV and TV is accurate, right? That’s how people dress at work, isn’t it? (Uhhh, no.) ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/63 "2013-05-02T18:18:40Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > While the behaviour was reprehensible, the poor guy might be in the midst of a nasty divorce, or a hundred other things. At least he deserves to have the chance to explain himself; we’re all human. If the guy said what he said to ab equal colleague, perhaps you are right. But you just can’t talk to a superior that way no matter what’s going on in your private life. We all have tragedies and difficult times. Part of being a responsible adult is managing to balance those tough times with our jobs. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/64 "2013-05-02T18:31:43Z")
I’d fire both of them (or at least get them onto the written warning track). Getting warned/sent home three times for inappropriate clothing? If she was concerned about dressing appropriately and/or staying employed, the first one would have been enough. She is indeed testing you. The second guy - I would give him a chance to explain, but I would also give him a written warning for his behaviour - no one who wants to stay employed talks to their boss’ boss like that. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/65 "2013-05-02T18:37:02Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > But I am waiting for an update from Skald. It’s like waiting for a visit from Santa Claus. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/66 "2013-05-02T18:49:52Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > It’s like waiting for a visit from Santa Claus. Well, this being **Skald** it’s more like waiting for a visit from Santa Claus’s evil twin. 😃 I really, really want to know what happened! ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/67 "2013-05-02T18:50:19Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Tale the first: > I ot a promotion a short while ago that among other things means that I’m manaing 200 people rather than 20, What kind of fucked up promotion gives you more people to watch over and power over the dress code but removes your access to the letter “g”? I hope you at least got a decent parkin space out of the deal. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/68 "2013-05-02T19:13:31Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > This. The woman is testing you. Not necessarily. Like icarus said, she might just be clueless. In her mind she might be thinking she’s wearing her best clothes to work. She might not understand there’s a difference between a good outfit that you wear to work and a good outfit you wear to a nightclub. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/69 "2013-05-02T19:17:44Z")
Disclaimer: i am a member of four unions. Number 2 sounds like a union hothead. If so, grieve him and prepare to get sued. If not, grt him alone and ask him to explain. As said above, he may have had a very bad personal moment. Give him one chance to apologize. Perhaps remind him that that foul language could cost customers. That in addition to the unprofessional behavior. If he becomes that enraged with you, open the door to invite the Security person. And have him removed from the building. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/70 "2013-05-02T19:20:15Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > What kind of fucked up promotion gives you more people to watch over and power over the dress code but removes your access to the letter “g”? I hope you at least got a decent parkin space out of the deal. That explains why \*you \*have no job. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/71 "2013-05-02T19:35:19Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > Have you tried pictures? > > As in this is appropriate dress for Casual Friday > [http://psbananas.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/IMG\_8153-Version-2.jpg](http://psbananas.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/IMG_8153-Version-2.jpg) > > This is not > [Casual Apparel in the Workplace: What Not to wear on Casual Friday?](http://brocklej671.blogspot.com/2013/02/what-not-to-wear-on-casual-friday.html) > > Sometimes people are fashion idiots. > > Mr. Potty Mouth owes you an apology and a promise to never behave like that again. He got his free pass, one more time and he is done. His coworkers should have shut him down when he started and not have let it escalate. Am I the only one who thinks those jeans are ridiculously tight for the office? Really? I thought it was a joke. Oh well, thanks for the laugh. . . ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/72 "2013-05-02T19:39:16Z")
I’m very interested in hearing about today’s conversation with Employee #2. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/73 "2013-05-02T19:39:42Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Am I the only one who thinks those jeans are ridiculously tight for the office? Really? I thought it was a joke. > > Oh well, thanks for the laugh. . . Yeah jeans with visible cameltoe should be a no-no. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/74 "2013-05-02T19:41:15Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Am I the only one who thinks those jeans are ridiculously tight for the office? Really? I thought it was a joke. > > Oh well, thanks for the laugh. . . Nope, not just you, those are too tight. They reveal some rather personal topography. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/75 "2013-05-02T19:43:56Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > What kind of fucked up promotion gives you more people to watch over and power over the dress code but removes your access to the letter “g”? I hope you at least got a decent parkin space out of the deal. Maybe the uy whose job and computer he inherited didn’t type so ood ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/76 "2013-05-02T19:44:49Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > I volunteered to model the inappropriate casual Friday outfit – Daisy duke booty shorts, a spaghetti strap tank, no bra, hair in pigtails with a baseball cap (baseball caps were out regardless). I’m going to hope that I’ve been wrong all this time in my belief that you are a man. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/77 "2013-05-02T19:46:43Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > [QUOTE=Leaffan] > we’re all human. I’m not. [/QUOTE] No, you’re an unholy combination of a lion, snake and goat, but we still love you. > [@](#): > > But I am waiting for an update from Skald. As am I. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/78 "2013-05-02T19:48:30Z")
Question for Skald: Does your HR manual have a list of offenses which can get one immediately fired? I’ve been at places where theft, hitting someone, and drugs could. The second guy seemed close to that point. I can see where someone on the phone can get so carried away that he forgets where he is, but mouthing off to you is a different story. However, I suppose that waiting to get his direct manager involved would be a good idea. There might be history. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/79 "2013-05-02T19:58:41Z")
> [@Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](#): > > I didn’t see this in your post, so forgive me if you said something about it. However, you shouldn’t rely on your verbal presentation on the dress code. At minimum, distribute a nice, neutral e-mail describing the new policy’s specifics. > > Fire the other guy. No, give each employee a copy AND have each employee sign a letter saying that they have recieved a copy and will comply. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231/80 "2013-05-02T20:04:54Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > No, give each employee a copy AND have each employee sign a letter saying that they have recieved a copy and will comply. An emailed memo should suffice assuming a policy that all employees are responsible for information contained in memos (emailed or otherwise). Then on a first offence the memo itself can be printed out and signed if need be. Looking forward to hearing the continuation. For the dress code lady, I’d say just give her a different dress code than everyone else. For the angry guy, it’s so shocking that he’d behave this way that I’d check to see whether there’s a history and whether there’s some special circumstance in this case. I’m not a fan of making decisions based on a single incident. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-know-what-youre-trying-to-do-but-youre-going-to-get-yourself-fired/657231.md?page=5)