# I don't like goiters on women... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 29, 2000, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348 "2000-07-29T18:07:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/1 "2000-07-29T18:07:11Z")
[With a tip of the hat (and apologies) to Jebus for inspiring this subject – or at least the format ;)] I just don’t like them on women, very unappealing on a woman. And yes I had a bad experience with a goitered gal. Ever have one those large, swollen neck-things go crashing down on your pelvis…it’s not fun. ~~Baloo P.S.: Jebus, I think we’d all like to hear something you _like_ about women for a change. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/2 "2000-07-29T18:18:43Z")
Goddamn it, I \* knew \* it was going to be goiters next. :rolleyes: I’m w/ \*\* Baloo \*\* on this one–Jebus, get your scrawny butt in here and tell us what you do like on women… ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/3 "2000-07-29T18:24:53Z")
I don’t mind a flat bottom or even the occasional goiter. What I really hate on my women is a penis. Can’t stand a woman with a penis. To quote Baloo, “Ever have one those large, swollen neck-things go crashing down on your pelvis…it’s not fun.” ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/4 "2000-07-29T18:37:43Z")
You suck Bratboy! I was about to post this, but you beat me to it…I should drag yer ass to the pit and scream NI at you until you appease me. Bastard. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/5 "2000-07-29T18:47:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monster104 \* > \*\*You suck Bratboy! I was about to post this, but you beat me to it…I should drag yer ass to the pit and scream NI at you until you appease me. > > Bastard. 😉 \*\* I’m sorry for beating you to the obvious penis joke. (You knew they were coming, I just happened to be first) BTW, I meant the jokes were coming, not the penises. Perv. Monster, here’s a shrubbery, does that appease you well enough? ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/6 "2000-07-29T21:28:01Z")
Aaahh, goiters. There’s nothing like them. How any man could not be aroused by a giant swollen gland coming out of someone’s neck I’ll never know. I like to caress them a little, rub them gently, or massage them with a firm touch. Something about iodine deficiencies just turns me on! ---
**Author:** ![Dumbguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dumbguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dumbguy)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/7 "2000-07-29T23:00:22Z")
I used to think goiters were bad until I dated a woman with scurvy. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/8 "2000-07-29T23:05:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by drainthelizard \* > \*\*How any man could not be aroused by a giant swollen gland coming out of someone’s neck I’ll never know. I like to caress them a little, rub them gently, or massage them with a firm touch. \*\* Have any of these women given you the opportunity to Squick their goiter? It’s heaven man… heaven. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/9 "2000-07-30T00:20:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dumbguy \* > \*\*I used to think goiters were bad until I dated a woman with scurvy. \*\* OH MY GOD! Please tell me you’re kidding!! (If you’re not kidding, give some details, like when where, how you found out, ages, etc. You piqued my curiosity.) ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/10 "2000-07-30T00:44:47Z")
I’m female, so all these tips from Jebus have really illuminated _my_ life. It’s obvious he has very fine, finicking standards. But for the rest of you, are goiters and scurvy really _so_ bad? Truthfully, are they as bad as, say, leprosy? I can readily understand how random body parts falling off in amorous moments could be alarming. Actually, leprosy would be even _more_ alarming in men, appendage-wise. (For the humor-impaired, _I am joking, m’kay_?) Veb ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/11 "2000-07-30T01:01:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TVeblen \* > \*\* > > Actually, leprosy would be even _more_ alarming in men, appendage-wise. > > \*\* I don’t know about that. I mean, I love to eat a woman out, but thats just ridiculous. BTW, what do you call a leper in a hot tub? Stew. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/12 "2000-07-30T01:01:59Z")
God, I never even considered that! Leprosy! Anyone know where I can find a leprous woman? I want to try this out now. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/13 "2000-07-30T02:02:31Z")
Leprosy, goiter, scurvy, etc etc… What about lice? ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/14 "2000-07-30T02:06:07Z")
You know what I really hate? Men with no brains above their waists. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/15 "2000-07-30T02:23:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ssskuggiii \* > \*\*You know what I really hate? Men with no brains above their waists. 😉 \*\* Having only one brain below the waist is not the problem. To quote Billy Crysal, “God gave man a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to use one at a time.” ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/16 "2000-07-30T02:24:33Z")
What about open pustulent sores? Mmmmmm! ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/17 "2000-07-30T02:28:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Feynn \* > \*\*What about open pustulent sores? Mmmmmm! \*\* Oh well you can just shove right in!! ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/18 "2000-07-30T02:29:49Z")
**Whammo** , you are one sick, demented, perverted puppy. Actually, it’s what we like most about you. \* Hmmm, I’m not sure that lice would qualify as a downer for non-Jebus types. Aren’t they fairly easily gotten rid of? (Lice, not Jebus, though now the topic is mentioned…) Maybe the comfy medicinal odor of lice dip is the perfume of love to some. (\* What did the leper say to the hooker? “Keep the tip.”) I’m only participating in this disgusting, tasteless thread to assist in the admirable goal of reducing the Jebus Standards to their ridiculous, inevitable depths. Trying to look dignified, Veb ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/19 "2000-07-30T02:37:53Z")
I, for one, am finding Jebus’ threads quite refreshing! Hey, he’s letting us know right off the bat that he’s an insufferable weenie! Kinda nice to not have to wonder about it, ya know? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2000, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348/20 "2000-07-30T02:46:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BratMan007 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by ssskuggiii \* > > \*\*You know what I really hate? Men with no brains above their waists. 😉 \*\* > > Having only one brain below the waist is not the problem. To quote Billy Crysal, “God gave man a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to use one at a time.” \*\* It’s not my fault you can’t think with both. I certainly can think with both brains at the same time. But then again I’m a woman with multitasking skills. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-like-goiters-on-women/27348.md?page=2)