# "I don't masturbate." = "I am lying." **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 9, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948 "2005-12-09T21:53:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/21 "2005-12-10T01:44:29Z")
Oh, don’t be silly. Some people are so tightly wrapped that they can’t come unscrewed. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/22 "2005-12-10T01:54:58Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > It depends a little, I doubt anyone without a serious physical or mental problem, who is over 12 has never masterbated… > Someone who ‘proudly’ asays they never masturbate is I think almost always lieing. You’re making huge assumptions here. Even if 0.5% of a survey say they don’t masturbate, that’s still a lot of people who you’re discounting!!! ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/23 "2005-12-10T03:13:03Z")
I don’t think they’re always lying. I didn’t masturbate once until I was 18 and my now-ex jump-started me by touching me himself and then after that I wanted to do it. I didn’t have a particularly religious or uptight upbringing either, the thought just never occurred to me. You all might think I’m touched in the head and maybe I am, but I know lots of girls who started late or abstain totally. Well, okay, some. A few. I’m not lying. I think I would probably think a male was lying if they said it, though; either that or they have something wrong with them. Inconsistent, yeah, but that’s what I’d think. ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/24 "2005-12-10T03:23:53Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > We don’t all masturbate. Some of us don’t really care that much about getting off alone. > What’s to lie about? I’m lazy! I let someone else do all the work! I second that motion! If I was asked if I masturbated a year ago I would have answered no. Sure I tried a few times but it really didn’t do anything for me. I never reached climax from it and basically I got bored. Then my boyfriend gave me a vibrator when we were going to be apart for a few months. Wow I got addicted to that little invention. So now I guess I masturbate. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Thinktank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Thinktank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thinktank)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/25 "2005-12-10T04:11:53Z")
Well, I guess I found out the hard way (no pun intended). I really didn’t think such people existed until I met my wife, lol. Suffice it to say it’s not the underlining feature I married her for. I even bought her a vibrator that many women raved about at the sex shop and some lube for her; to encourage her to get busy when she felt inclined. She hasn’t used it yet, sigh. My wife and I have a very honest relationship though. There’s no reason for me to sneak around and peek at her all the time. If I ask her directly she _will_ give me the absolute honest truth. A very rare person indeed, heh… of course if someone else asked her, even a good friend she’d give no answer at all so…there you go. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/26 "2005-12-10T04:56:29Z")
Nope! I ADORE sex. Love it love it LOVE IT!!! But I very rarely take matters into my own hands (maybe once every 6 months). Right now I’m single, but was with my former boyfriend for seven years. I’ve always reacted physically so that when I’m not involved in a romantic relationship, it is as if once my heart shuts down, so does my libido. But that’s all it is, it has nothing to do with thinking it is a sin or something, I just have no desire. ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/27 "2005-12-10T04:59:53Z")
Yes. Lies lies lies. Maybe they don’t do it _often_, but they do it. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/28 "2005-12-10T05:13:17Z")
> [@flight](#): > > Believe me, it does happen. There are are at least several women out there who do not, and I have dated them. I have found that the frequency of masturbation in a woman is directly proportional to the quality of your sex life with her after the first two months. That’s pretty interesting. Exactly the opposite of my experience. Maybe I’m just weird though 😃 It’s funny, I can go for a long time without a thought of sex, not even self service, and then when I fall in love, it’s as if my body wakes up and says “Hello??? Oh HELL yes, I remember this”. I’d not had sex of any kind for about three years when I met my former boyfriend. For seven years and even on and off after we broke up we had a sizzling FREQUENT sex life. Maybe those girls you dated were just exceptions? Or maybe they lied about it? Or, I could be the oddball exception. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/29 "2005-12-10T05:23:14Z")
> [@inkleberry](#): > > Yes. > > Lies lies lies. > > Maybe they don’t do it _often_, but they do it. Aha…Okay, I got fooled by the verbiage. I’m thinking the “DO” in do you masturbate is present tense and means currently. So when someone asks me " do you?" my answer is no because I don’t. Not currently and not for about the last year. If you want to know who has EVER masturbated you should ask a more open question “do you now, or have you ever”…to which I agree, I doubt that anyone has NEVER masturbated. Sheesh, as someone else mentioned the Kinsey report, or Masters and Johnson, even babies and children self stimulate even if they don’t “go all the way” or completely understand it. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/30 "2005-12-10T05:30:13Z")
Why do you want to know? Do you need to watch? Is it any of your business? Are you paying me for this information? ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/31 "2005-12-10T12:01:21Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > Are you paying me for this information? Is this the sort of thing you usually get paid to talk about :dubious: ? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/32 "2005-12-10T13:02:20Z")
Well, since you’re already painting anybody who says he/she doesn’t masturbate as either mentally abnormal, pathologically frigid, or a liar, I doubt you’re going to get many people posting in this thread honestly trying to convince you differently. Without going into it, I know for a fact that not everyone who claims not to masturbate is a liar or mentally abnormal, and may very well have a strong sex drive, that he/she satisfies with interaction with other people. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/33 "2005-12-10T13:55:34Z")
From [this thread “Why the taboo on masturbation?”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=5429732) > [@Maastricht](#): > > If you want sources, the [Kinsey report](http://www.indiana.edu/~kinsey/research/ak-data.html#masturbation) says: > > > [@](#): > > > > 62% of females reported that they had masturbated (p. 142, Female). > > 45% of females who reported having masturbated indicated that they could reach orgasm within 3 minutes (p. 163, Female). > > Yeah, but that’s 1956, you say? Well, I couldn’t find more recent data this quickly, but I did a survey myself, among female psychology students, in my second year of studying psychology in the Netherlands (1990, that must have been). Of 70 returned questionaires, 70 % of women indicated that they masturbated. I could see no reason why that percentage would be higher among women who didn’t fill in the questionaire, so I think 70% is about as high as it gets, at least in that group. > > My point is, that this leaves at least 25 % of women who never masturbated, as opposed to fewer then 2 % of men. So, not necessarily lying. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/34 "2005-12-10T14:07:23Z")
Your mouth says “no” but your hand says “yes.” ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/35 "2005-12-10T15:27:36Z")
Well, maybe it’s a matter of definition. I know that for years I simply fantasized to orgasm. I never used my hands or other implements because it wasn’t necessary. Perhaps some women say they don’t “masturbate” because they don’t use any tools. ---
**Author:** ![Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilvert_s_Pagan)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/36 "2005-12-10T16:04:28Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Your mouth says “no” but your hand says “yes.” My mouth would say “yes” too, but I’m not from Nantucket. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/37 "2005-12-10T18:01:27Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > From [this thread “Why the taboo on masturbation?”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=5429732) Maybe not masturbating was even more common than I thought. Oh, and I forgot, let me pipe in here with another ancedote: my first serious girlfriend, never masturbated. Part of the whole neuroticism/weirdness package that made me break up with her. ---
**Author:** ![Thinktank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Thinktank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thinktank)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/38 "2005-12-10T20:09:49Z")
> [@niblet\_head](#): > > Perhaps some women say they don’t “masturbate” because they don’t use any tools. That’s put in funny way to me. I was thinking of masturbation as something you do primarily with your hands, especially since I am a man and don’t require anything else, but it’s still the same act with or without a vibrator so I can’t see any reason why anybody would deny the act because of an “accomplice” =)…whatever’s involved in the outcome is not important, just the outcome 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/39 "2005-12-10T20:42:30Z")
Over the years, I’ve dated a few girls and women who said they didn’t masturbate. Maybe it’s a coincidence, but each of these girls / women were members of the Catholic church. Is there a correlation? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948/40 "2005-12-10T21:15:46Z")
WOOOOOOO! I’m lying like a mother fuck! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-masturbate-i-am-lying/334948.md?page=3)