# I don't understand Blow Jobs **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 6, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218 "2003-02-06T16:09:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![InLikeFlynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f19dbf/32.png) [@InLikeFlynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InLikeFlynn)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/21 "2003-02-06T17:38:29Z")
It is true that they are held in high reguard by most men. If I met the girl of my dreams and she meet or Exceeded all of my desires but didn’t give head. C-YA!! It’s better than sex. It is like having a custom fit vagania that is always wet, it’s not messy (for the guy), facials give a man a sence of power. There are some girls that I would never have intercourse with but would gladly take a blowjob from! Blowjobs are all good! ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/22 "2003-02-06T17:42:30Z")
I think you only come across blowjob-crazed men in areas where blowjobs are scarce. It’s the variety thing so many have already mentioned. I went to high school in a community that was heavily Roman Catholic, and all the girls I went out with were Catholic. This meant saving the ol’ maidenhead until the nuptial night. So I went through high school not getting laid, but getting enormous amounts of oral sex. By the time I went away to college I’d had it with blowjobs, I was dying for pussy. You can see where this is leading, can’t you? Once ensconced in my liberal temple of higher learning I started getting laid alla time, but running up against the proposition that blowjobs were a Tool of the Ruling Patriarchy to Keep the Sisterhood Down. So, yes, blowjobs became the tempting forbidden fruit. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/23 "2003-02-06T18:11:48Z")
Well, I agree with the various themes of control, a little power, and not having to do anything. There are a couple other little points nobody’s brought up: 1. Way effective birth control. 2. You don’t have to wonder whether the woman had an orgasm first. (granted, you _know_ she _didn’t,_ but still… that guilty doubt is an awful feeling… being able to shrug it off takes a whole lot of pressure off of a lot of guys’ minds…) which leads into… 3. Once it’s done, the guy can return the favor, and, again, there’s no doubt about whether or not the lady is satisfied… and again with the birth control… ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/24 "2003-02-06T18:27:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by InLikeFlynn \* > \*\*It is true that they are held in high reguard by most men. If I met the girl of my dreams and she meet or Exceeded all of my desires but didn’t give head. > C-YA!! \*\* I see, you must have **very deep relationships**. With this attitude I doubt you will ever meet the girl of your dreams. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by InLikeFlynn \* > \*\* It’s better than sex. It is like having a custom fit vagania that is always wet, it’s not messy (for the guy), facials give a man a sence of power._\* Better than sex? No, I don’t think so. There’s nothing better than when two people achieve simulatenously, IMO. What’s this shit about “facials give a man a sense of power”? Do you need to splash your load on a woman’s face in order to find a sense of power? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by InLikeFlynn \* > \*\*There are some girls that I would never have intercourse with but would gladly take a blowjob from! > Blowjobs are all good! \*\* I think you equate blowjobs with something more than sexual fun. I’m just curious-do you think women are equal to men? ---
**Author:** ![sciguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@sciguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciguy)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/25 "2003-02-06T18:42:17Z")
\ Well how else can you guarantee that you get both the joy of genital stimulation _and_ have her shut up? Can’t get better than that 😃 \ ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/26 "2003-02-06T18:45:47Z")
My two cents: It’s an extremely intimate act. If your partner won’t, there may be a feeling of being slighted or rejected. As well, many men enjoy an interesting relationship with their penises. As such, to have your partner pay such special attention to the “biggest part of you” is a delight. Finally, ditto what Richard Jeni said. Oh, I forgot: lol. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/27 "2003-02-06T18:45:58Z")
I have to admit that while my wife likes giving, I do not. Therefore, oral is not a regular thing in the Heap house (not that anything at all is since she lives so far away). Occasionally she just really wants to give it, which I appreciate, because it feels good, but I have told her I do not like giving it to her, and so she does not have to do me any favors. As for how it feels; different for so many people it would seem. I practically never come from it (only twice in my life thus far) so I don’t really get that satisfaction, but I think of it a lot like a back rub. It is a good, long back rub condensed from an entire back area into a much smaller and stimulating area. It also occurs to me that I have been posting to far too many sex/oral threads lately and I have not seen my wife in many weeks. Lordy … ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/28 "2003-02-06T19:44:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cjhoworth \* > Actually, my problem’s the opposite. I don’t understand why some women _don’t_ like giving blow jobs. Granted I haven’t got a lot of experience here, but I can’t see why someone wouldn’t want to do something which gives her partner so much pleasure, although I admit the taste leaves a lot to be desired. I don’t _mind_ giving blow jobs, but honestly. Have _you_ ever given one? Try sucking on something fairly big, for a long period of time while being careful to not bite or scratch it with your teeth for a longish period of time. You’re jaw gets mighty sore after awhile, even with taking short breaks. I don’t give them often and when I do it’s a very intimate thing. If I’m going to give myself a jaw ache it had better be something special. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/29 "2003-02-06T19:54:50Z")
I have similar feelings to **essvee**. I have never felt more accepted -absolutely, unconditionally accepted- as when a woman has been that kind of intimate with me. Even the self-loathing part of me -and it’s no small part of me- has to admit then, that yeah, I think she must really like me. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/30 "2003-02-06T19:57:18Z")
OF, trying to concentrate on licking a whelk-flavoured jellybean while your nose is buried in short curly hair and being banged repeatedly by a greedily overenthusiastic pubic bone, and your lips and (in my case) beard are getting plastered in something warm and sticky, is not necessarily a barrel-o-hoots either. Mind you, I’ve never really let this put me off cumulonimbus. There was one lady friend who just never smelled quite right, even when fresh out of the bath, but otherwise, I’ve been all for it since the day I popped that cherry. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![nogginhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5e9695/32.png) [@nogginhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nogginhead)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/31 "2003-02-06T20:03:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Obsidian Flutterby \* > \*\*I don’t _mind_ giving blow jobs, but honestly. Have _you_ ever given one? Try sucking on something fairly big, for a long period of time while being careful to not bite or scratch it with your teeth for a longish period of time. You’re jaw gets mighty sore after awhile, even with taking short breaks. > \*\* Ms. Nog has the same argument, and she also has a diagnosis of TMJ to go with it. I’m lucky if I get the traditional once-a-year-on-my-birthday. I agree with the giving up of control theme and the not having to worry about whether you partner is gonna make it theme. For me, these are reasons to like oral sex both giving and receiving. There’s little as sexy for me as her orgasm, seen up close. Now, if you want to get into male psychology, let’s consider why it’s so important (for some men) for her to _swallow_. I had a buddy once (OK, he was a god and therefore used to the best women) who was deeply troubled by this in a woman who he really liked, really liked him, and who would do almost anything he asked. She went down on him all the time, but he didn’t enjoy it so much because she didn’t like to swallow. ---
**Author:** ![DougC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/32 "2003-02-06T20:49:56Z")
> [@](#): > > …I enjoy getting oral sex, but if it never happened again, it wouldn’t be the end of my world or anything… - - - As noted: it’s not like your doctor telling you that doing it will give you cancer and kill you, , , -it’s someone you consider to be the SO saying “I know you like it and all, but I don’t, so we’re not going to do it, no matter how much you like it.”. ~ ---
**Author:** ![SlowMindThinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@SlowMindThinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlowMindThinking)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/33 "2003-02-06T21:15:24Z")
sciguy, I had a boss with a poster similar to your signature, only it was “incompetence” not “stupidity”. As someone who is thinking about leaving his wife over the lack of bj, perhaps I can add something. I have always thought that it is the sheer warm, soft, wriggly pleasure. After reading some of these posts, I am not so sure. My wife is very repressed, and I surely have fixated on that which I do not receive, so I can agree with Ukulele Ike. I am more than a little of a perfectionist, and concentrate on her so hard during sex, that it would be good to just flat out relax and enjoy, and be glad I could trust my wife with my favorite parts. So, I agree with that position also. However, there is more than that. A woman who won’t give head, probably won’t do a lot of other things, either. (That is my case.) Plus, the following angers me. I get great pleasure from going down on her, that pleasure does not derive from the physical pleasure of going down on her, but from knowing I am pleasing her so much. (For the last 15 years, or so, the only way she has achieved orgasm has been with me lighting the fire down below, and then letting her hop on top.) The fact that she obviously derives no pleasure from pleasing me, and is only willing to do those things that physically please her, is starting to piss me off. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/34 "2003-02-06T21:35:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SlowMindThinking \* > \*\*The fact that she obviously derives no pleasure from pleasing me, and is only willing to do those things that physically please her, is starting to piss me off. \*\* Move over…Your oar keeps hitting my elbow. I’m sure others are going to be joining us, please don’t stand and remember your preservers. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/35 "2003-02-06T21:50:03Z")
I’m a man, and I specifically _dislike_ blow jobs. I’ve only been with my wife, no one else, and maybe she doesn’t do it right. But the teeth get in the way and all. She’s offered to try to do it differently, but I couldn’t care less. Actual intercourse feels awfully nice, and a good hand job can be almost as good. I don’t need oral. I _do_ enjoy giving oral, but that’s a completely different animal, so to speak. I don’t mind watching oral in a porno, but it’s not as …erm… interesting as the actual sex. hrh ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/36 "2003-02-06T21:52:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Urban Ranger \* > \*\*Because men are pigs. Or at least a large number of them. \*\* So am I to understand that a woman having strong drives and expressing them is sexy (and I’ll agree with you this far,) but a man doing the same is a pig? There’s nothing wrong with wanting variety, wanting different sensations, wanting to simply relax and enjoy a passive roll. Hell, there’s nothing wrong with a vigorous skull-fuck so long as your partner is sincerely into it. As soon as you pick your favorite, or even your second favorite, sexual activity and vow to give it permanently, we can come back and discuss how men are pigs for enjoying oral sex. I happen to believe we are sexual creatures, and there is nothing wrong with admitting that sexual compatibility is important. I’ve broken off relationships over it, and I think it was more considerate than being an un-piglike, yet miserable, partner. [sub]Yeah, I’m sure this was said with at least a modicum of humor, so let’s just consider my comments to be just that, and not an attack[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/37 "2003-02-06T21:55:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Waverly \* > \*\*There’s nothing wrong with wanting variety, wanting different sensations, wanting to simply relax and enjoy a passive roll. Hell, there’s nothing wrong with a vigorous skull-fuck so long as your partner is sincerely into it. > \*\* ROFLMAO! Nice one… hrh ---
**Author:** ![Parallax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@Parallax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Parallax)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/38 "2003-02-06T23:49:39Z")
I have a bunch of things that I want to say about this but I’m having trouble getting them all in order to write about them - I guess the idea of oral sex is getting me too excited to get my brain settled down to write. 😃 Let me see if I can cover everything: 1. You can do things with your mouth that you just can’t do with other body parts. Your mouth is the only part that can really apply any kind of suction and your tongue has the dexterity to make all sorts of good feelings. Your fingers can do things similiar to your tongue but your tongue is soft and wet - quite a difference. 2. When getting oral sex it is “special” time. The person giving oral sex to you is giving you attention selflessly. It is nice to just be there and get individual attention without having to worry about anything else. I also have a problem with being a little - uh - quick, shall we say, during intercourse so oral sex helps me make sure that my wife gets an orgasm as well. I love giving her oral sex and it is great when she has a mind blowing orgasm from it. 😃 I also have my strongest orgasms from oral sex - probably because I can concentrate a bit more and last longer without just going off quickly. This was probably TMI for most of ya - but is my 2 cents worth. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/39 "2003-02-07T00:35:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Mind you, I’ve never really let this put me off cumulonimbus. But doesn’t the parachute get in the way? 😉 Anyway, I like oral sex. Giving and receiving. I’m not real good at stimulating a man all the way to orgasm (guess I tire more easily than most or something), but I really do like it. It’s one of those things that I myself can’t imagine _not_ doing at some point during sex. And **Gorgon**? Next time you see your wife…tell her I said hi. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218/40 "2003-02-07T02:17:48Z")
Oh, man is this going to be TMI, and I can’t believe I’m posting to this thread again! **Obsidian Flutterby** , I have given blow jobs, including to someone who took longer than most to come. Yes, my jaw did get tired, and yes, it did get a bit boring after several minutes. On the other hand, being aware of the gentleman’s increasing excitement enhances my own dramatically. I do agree with you about the jaw ache, though, but isn’t that what hands are for as well? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-blow-jobs/153218.md?page=3)