# I don't understand the joke **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [January 13, 2021, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403 "2021-01-13T05:04:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dodgy\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7bcc69/32.png) [@Dodgy\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dodgy_Dude)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403/1 "2021-01-13T05:04:31Z")
I was reading the script for _Predator_. The scene early in the movie where the two helicopters are taking Arnold’s team to start the mission. The original joke Hawkins tells Billy goes like this: HAWKINS Hey, Billy, how many marines does it take to eat a squirrel? Billy looks back, shaking his head, uncomprehending. HAWKINS Two. One to eat it and one to watch for cars. > **[Predator Movie Script](https://www.scripts.com/script.php?id=predator_543&p=5)** > > Read, review and discuss the entire Predator movie script by Jim Thomas on Scripts.com What does that mean? 🤔 ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403/2 "2021-01-13T05:06:10Z")
It implies that not only would Marines eat roadkill, but that they’d eat it right there on the road. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403/3 "2021-01-13T05:07:26Z")
Right. I means the guy eats roadkill rather than a squirrel he shot. ---
**Author:** ![mikecurtis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikecurtis/32/3284_2.png) [@mikecurtis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikecurtis)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403/4 "2021-01-13T05:21:18Z")
I’d always heard the punchline as: “Three. One to eat and two to stop traffic!” ---
**Author:** ![Dodgy\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7bcc69/32.png) [@Dodgy\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dodgy_Dude)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403/5 "2021-01-13T05:21:49Z")
Oh! I figured they were taking a shot of some kind at the Marines (the team being some sort of special forces group.) Thanks, kenobi. 👍 ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403/6 "2021-01-16T07:40:34Z")
> [@Dodgy\_Dude](#): > > Oh! I figured they were taking a shot of some kind at the Marines Well, you have to be kinda stupid to stand in the middle of the road eating roadkill… That’s how roadkill happens. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403/7 "2021-01-16T17:00:28Z")
Marines are TOUGH! Cars don’t hit them, they hit cars! ---
**Author:** ![Chingon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chingon/32/17645_2.png) [@Chingon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chingon)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403/8 "2021-01-16T17:19:51Z")
It also implies that the marines couldn’t actually kill a squirrel, but needed to find one already dead. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403/9 "2021-01-16T17:28:13Z")
If it comes down to survival, roadkill will do. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403/10 "2021-01-16T17:29:31Z")
But you don’t have to eat it in the middle of the road. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403/11 "2021-01-16T18:15:49Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/p4E6KtQg_z0/maxresdefault.jpg "Why Don't We Do It In The Road? (Remastered 2009)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4E6KtQg_z0) 😆 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403/12 "2021-01-16T18:50:09Z")
They can eat it in the road if they want to. They’re TOUGH! ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403/13 "2021-01-16T22:48:52Z")
I’m glad they replaced that with the big pussy jokes. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2021, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-understand-the-joke/930403/14 "2021-01-17T09:08:39Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Cars don’t hit them, they hit cars! Only in Soviet Russia.