# "I don't want my kids seeing that." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 28, 2009, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821 "2009-02-28T20:35:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![original\_fake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a4c791/32.png) [@original\_fake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/original_fake)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2009, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/21 "2009-02-28T23:53:18Z")
> [@hawksgirl](#): > > Of course she is. How dare she have a job and pretend to be a normal person! > > Some people need to get over themselves in a big way. OMG! Not everyone is like me! Hide them, they make me uncomfortable! Grow up and deal. I haven’t seen the show, only a news clip (the girl and her co-host were waving their arms around). I wondered if that’s what they meant when they said she was flaunting it. Drawing attention to it. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/22 "2009-03-01T00:11:07Z")
> [@2ply](#): > > When ever someone says they don’t want their child to see something, they mean they are themselves are uncomfortable with it and use the child as an excuse. If the adult didn’t have a problem, the adult wouldn’t have such a hard time explaining it to a child. That seems a bit hasty a generalisation to me. Fundamental to any of these discussions is this question: - Are there _some concepts or visual experiences_ to which _some children_ at _some age_ should not be exposed? ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/23 "2009-03-01T00:12:41Z")
I can’t think of a kid’s show where arms don’t get waved around, during dances and stuff. How dare she act like she was a normal kid’s show host and…dance and sing or whatever she does. :rolleyes: ETA: Any child could be walking down the street with their parents any day and see somebody who is missing a limb, or using a chair, or any number of things. Should the parents grab the kids and run to prevent the kids from seeing them, lest they be “traumatized”? ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/24 "2009-03-01T00:16:43Z")
> [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](#): > > I think we as a society honestly do owe kids a little more consideration than leaving discarded biohazards around their play areas. And by extension, we can give some consideration to leaving some adult topics to adult settings. We owe it to \*each other \*not to leave discarded biohazards laying around _anywhere_. And the entire world is an “adult setting”. It makes more sense to ban kids from Target than it makes to fire pierced-tongue employee. The grownups are the ones with the money, after all. When you take your children out into the world, you run the risk of them seeing things you don’t approve of, or asking questions about things you’re uncomfortable about. Your options are to lock 'em in the basement, or to figure out a way to explain things to them in an age-appropriate fashion. Expecting every adult in the vicinity to modify their behavior in a way that you consider “child-appropriate” is NOT an option. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/25 "2009-03-01T00:18:52Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > That seems a bit hasty a generalisation to me. > > Fundamental to any of these discussions is this question: > > - Are there _some concepts or visual experiences_ to which _some children_ at _some age_ should not be exposed? Well, I don’t think kids need to know about things like rape or BDSM and the like. That’s probably kind of scary for them. But something like a missing arm…well, there are little kids missing arms and legs and eyes. But they’re people like you and me. Yeah, it’s uncomfortable to address this stuff, but if the lesson is that we’re all human beings despite some of us looking different, then I don’t think that’s ever a bad lesson. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/26 "2009-03-01T00:19:27Z")
From my personal observation, more kids are traumatized by the inappropriate reactions of their parents than by the actual events. It is the over-board reaction from the parent that “teaches” them that there is something wrong and that they should be or feel harmed by it. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/27 "2009-03-01T00:19:36Z")
IANA parent but I think it’s really sad that parents don’t use it as a teachable moment. At some point a child comes up against his/her own shortcomings, e.g. an asthmatic child doesn’t think he can play pro sports—the more they can look around and see others managing and succeeding and coping, the better. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/28 "2009-03-01T00:28:58Z")
> [@2ply](#): > > When ever someone says they don’t want their child to see something, they mean they are themselves are uncomfortable with it and use the child as an excuse. If the adult didn’t have a problem, the adult wouldn’t have such a hard time explaining it to a child. That’s a good way of putting it. Also, that some adults just don’t seem to like talking to their kids. Mind you, the article doesn’t say how many parents actually complained. Was it 1000, 100, 10, 2? The only things I don’t want my daughter to see are explicit sexual acts (not just kissing). However, she has seen lots of porn shops - hard to avoid when the place you’re going to requires you to walk across Soho - and there are tons of strip joints round here, including one that she can see from her bedroom window and one that has a gigantic poster of a semi-naked woman in a supposedly seductive pose. So I have had to explain those things to her as well - and it was easy. ‘Most adults like sex, and some adults like talking about it and looking at pictures of it as well as doing it.’ I laughed at this part of the article: > [@](#): > > Barbara Otto, the executive director of Health & Disability Advocates, a national American organization that lobbies, said in a phone interview that she would be surprised if a person like Burnell caused a similar reaction in the United States. > > The Americans with Disabilities Education Act has mainstreamed as many disabled children as possible into regular schools. “We have community inclusion of people with disabilities,” she said. “Kids are going to school with people with different abilities. In the United States, this would be unheard of.” Total bollocks. Most children with disabilities also go to mainstream schools in the UK, and there is ‘community inclusion’ here too. There is also still a tiny minority of fuckwit parents, and the same will go for the USA. It’s a bit off to use this story as a way of saying ‘hey hey hey, go USA, we’re the best!’ In her role, you’d also think that she’d make an effort to find out whether the UK has inclusive schooling before commenting as if it didn’t. I’m glad she’s not my advocate! ---
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/29 "2009-03-01T01:13:54Z")
I’d love for my kid to see Cerrie Burnell. He’s at that age when he’s asking questions about the differences in people, and his mother and I are happy to discuss humanity’s various shapes, colors and sizes. ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/30 "2009-03-01T01:28:28Z")
I worked as a camp counselor, watching over a group of 9-13 year old boys. Parents need to talk to their kids about porn and sex right before they get to the sixth grade (junior high.) Otherwise some 16 year old camp counselor is going to explain it to them. The people in the OP are idiots. They need to learn how to deal with adult concepts themselves before they decide to raise children. You don’t want to explain it to your kids huh? The problem is who is going to explain it to you. ---
**Author:** ![not\_alice](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_alice/32/7283_2.png) [@not\_alice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_alice)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/31 "2009-03-01T01:57:56Z")
> [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](#): > > And by extension, we can give some consideration to leaving some adult topics to adult settings. There is an age appropriate answer for everything. It depends on the age, the question, and mostly, the parenting skills. I am not a parent, and on the few occasions I am with a kid, I keep that in mind. Kids don’t need to know all the details of anything, only that their questions are valued enough to have an answer they can trust in. Piercings? “Some people like the way it looks” should suffice into the teens probably. Condoms on the playground or in the street? “Sometimes we find trash that is unhealthy to touch. If you see stuff like that, ask me for help picking it up, or just else leave it alone.” Really, not more complicated, maybe less so, then when your kid asks “why do we go to this church but the neighbors go to that one?” Somehow I think “different people have differnet beliefs and there are churches for most of them” is appropriate up until adulthood. The “People in those other churches are damned to hell for all time”-talk can wait until their 30s 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/32 "2009-03-01T02:08:56Z")
Complaining about the disabled TV person is unmitigated dumbasssery. Accusing her of flaunting it is a particularly small-minded and controlling form of dumbassery. People who hate on others and want to control them always accuse them of “flaunting” or being “uppity”. It’s the old “I don’t mind gays as long as they don’t act identifiably,” or “Negroes are fine as long as they use the back entrance and don’t look at my daughter,” or “retarded children shouldn’t be bussed to school during my commuting hours,” or “women are great, but should stay out of politics and make me a sandwich” kind of thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Obsidian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/51bf81/32.png) [@Obsidian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obsidian)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/33 "2009-03-01T02:23:28Z")
> [@scifisam2009](#): > > The only things I don’t want my daughter to see are explicit sexual acts (not just kissing). However, she has seen lots of porn shops - hard to avoid when the place you’re going to requires you to walk across Soho - and there are tons of strip joints round here, including one that she can see from her bedroom window and one that has a gigantic poster of a semi-naked woman in a supposedly seductive pose. So I have had to explain those things to her as well - and it was easy. ‘Most adults like sex, and some adults like talking about it and looking at pictures of it as well as doing it.’ I’ve always thought “I don’t want my kid to see X!” was a luxury of suburban parents, able to raise this children in a sanitized and family-friendly environment. Live in a city, you need to learn how to deal with used condoms, porn shops, bums peeing on the side of buildings, lots of cursing, strange outfits, ambiguous gender, people smoking joints while strolling down the sidewalk\*, etc. And City Kids turn out just fine. \*That may be unique to SF ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/34 "2009-03-01T02:24:57Z")
Actually, BSDM is not too far from child’s play. Rough housing, pinning some down until they say uncle is not too far distant from basic BSDM and safe words. Yes, the child’s play lacks the erotic element, but the basics are there. I find explaining things as my kids bring them up works well. The key is to not get flustered, and not to get too far ahead. Personally, explaining princesses was much harder than explaining sex. ---
**Author:** ![MissGypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/35 "2009-03-01T04:35:10Z")
> [@whiterabbit](#): > > Little kids can sometimes handle things far better than their parents. > > I finally came up with an explanation about my height for little kids who ask, because they do > when somebody looks like an adult but is 4’2". “Some people are really tall, like basketball players, you know? And some people are really short, like me. Most people are in the middle, like your mom/dad. I’m a grownup, I’m just a really short grownup.” > > There’s no need to get into the details of my medical condition, or for hers. I would think – as a non-parent, mind you – that for a really little kid saying, “Some people only have one arm. You have two!” would be enough. > > Being a walking life lesson sucks sometimes, but I’m not going to hide away, and neither should she. I love your attitude, and your graciousness to little kids who ask questions. My best friend uses a wheelchair or braces and crutches to move about, and he’s always been willing to answer even the strangest questions from small children, because they simply want to know. I try to answer my kids questions openly and honestly, about any disability, and to affirm that all people are more alike than they are different. So what if this lady is missing part of an arm? Some people can’t hear, so we use sign language. Some people can’t see, so they can read using Braille. I wear contacts, because I have poor eyesight. Kids are more understanding than adults, if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/36 "2009-03-01T04:49:10Z")
If anything, a lot of kids will probably think it’s really cool, I would bet. ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/37 "2009-03-01T05:23:18Z")
I remember seeing my first black person at a McDonald’s. I was probably about four years old. Reacting to my astonishment, my mother told me - “People come in all different colors.” I searched for a blue person for years. Never found one. I was lied to. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/38 "2009-03-01T05:39:01Z")
**MissGypsy** , I find that little kids tend to think “Okay, she’s a grownup!” and go on from there. My favorites are the two I remember who asked me if I was a mommy. They must think all women have kids. So I told them that I’m not a mommy but I’m a grownup. Truthfully, I love watching the wheels turn in their heads. I can see the confusion. Short=kid. But short and obviously not kid? Does. Not. Compute. It’s really cute. ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/39 "2009-03-01T05:40:26Z")
> [@GameHat](#): > > I remember seeing my first black person at a McDonald’s. I was probably about four years old. > > Reacting to my astonishment, my mother told me - “People come in all different colors.” > > I searched for a blue person for years. Never found one. I was lied to. [This guy is blue](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2297471.stm), as was my grandmother, but her blue was due to a heart condition. ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/40 "2009-03-01T05:47:59Z")
> [@lee](#): > > [This guy is blue](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2297471.stm) I’m not sure if “blue because you’re a damned fool that ingests all sorts of crazy folk remedies” counts. ;D [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821.md?page=3)