# "I don't want my kids seeing that." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 28, 2009, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821 "2009-02-28T20:35:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/61 "2009-03-02T09:24:59Z")
> [@Obsidian](#): > > …people smoking joints while strolling down the sidewalk\*… > > \*That may be unique to SF Nah, when we got to Glasgow my coworkers were surprised at how many people, and how early in the day, and in the center of town, and not close to any bars or pubs, would light up a joint. Back home (north of Spain) there’s areas called “tubos,” after a street in Saragosa, which have lots of bars and some of those bars are known for their arome d’herbes, but we’re not used to just catching a whiff of the riff someone’s wrapping up as we walk down the street. The 4th graders I was teaching Sunday school once came with all their homework done (suspicious) and behaved like little angels (oh my God), so we wrapped up the class in half the usual time. When I asked what the heck were they up to, they asked whether I’d please explain who was that Hitler guy that was so much on TV at the time (his fake diaries had just come to the light and not yet proven false) and who their parents refused to talk about. Would I normally talk about nazism to a bunch of 10-year-olds? No. Do I consider it a normal subject for “Jesus lovesya class”? No. But I did answer, and those “kids” are now taller than me and still give me hugs when we run into each other, and they still remember fondly that I was the only gronw-up who would explain what the fuss was about! ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/62 "2009-03-02T12:41:52Z")
Not long ago I was thinking about a coworker of mine who is in a similar vein, but not for her children… For herself. She’s 50ish and can’t hear a story that’s above G rated (not even sexual in nature, news stories, movies, anything), gets flustered when someone mentions drug or alcohol use in any context, vigorously defends all religious traditions (not that I have a problem with that, its more odd than anything… I mentioned that years before I didn’t know what ash Wednesday was and cleaned “dirt” from a patient’s forehead… Even though I’d gone to Catholic High School and simply forgot… She got angry and shocked that I didn’t understand this tradition. Even though she’s not Catholic). She lives in a very strange strange world. And I think she may be going a bit crazy… Though she gets angry and confused about people mentioning anything about alcohol or their college days she’s asked every one of my coworkers at least two or three times over the past couple years if they drink then drags them into a conversation about different kinds of wine. Even though she starts the conversation simply stating that she doesn’t drink. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/63 "2009-03-02T15:38:01Z")
Heh. Reminds me of this little story: A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, “Mom, what’s sex?” His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, “Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?” ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/64 "2009-03-02T15:43:33Z")
[QUOTE=Nava] But I did answer, and those “kids” are now taller than me and still give me hugs when we run into each other, and they still remember fondly that I was the only gronw-up who would explain what the fuss was about! [/QUOTE] **Nava** , was this in Spain? why was there such odd reluctance by parents to talk about it? a hang-over from the Franco period? ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/65 "2009-03-02T16:00:32Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Well, I don’t think kids need to know about things like rape or BDSM and the like. That’s probably kind of scary for them. But something like a missing arm…well, there are little kids missing arms and legs and eyes. But they’re people like you and me. Yeah, it’s uncomfortable to address this stuff, but if the lesson is that we’re all human beings despite some of us looking different, then I don’t think that’s ever a bad lesson. Gah. My poor mom had to explain the basic mechanics of sex, and rape, because of a conversation I had with a classmate in 2nd or 3rd grade. “My daddy’s in jail for rape, but he didn’t really rape the lady, because he didn’t stick it in her.” :smack:⭕eek: ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/66 "2009-03-02T16:37:36Z")
> [@whiterabbit](#): > > Truthfully, I love watching the wheels turn in their heads. I can see the confusion. Short=kid. But short and obviously not kid? Does. Not. Compute. It’s really cute. I really hope the guy at the grocery store thought the same thing when my daughter, having decided that Daddy’s explanation of how people come in all kinds of different shapes and sizes was insufficient, ran after him yelling “Hey, ascuse me, why are you so little?”. That was almost as much fun as the time she sought some clarification from the people at the next table in the restaurant by asking them what colour they were. ---
**Author:** ![lilflower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecccb3/32.png) [@lilflower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lilflower)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/67 "2009-03-02T16:54:27Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > It’s generally a sign of a parent who lacks imagination or is so overwhelmed by the larger context that they’re caught, deer-in-headlights, and can’t find a simple answer to the \*actual \*question asked. “It’s a cafe for adults” being the perfect example. The kid didn’t ask what goes on inside (although if he did, I’d say, “It’s private.” or, honestly, “I’m not exactly sure, I’ve never been to one.”) I didn’t say that I did not answer the question. And perhaps I wasn’t clear - I didn’t answer the question in as detailed a manner I would have had he asked “where do elephants live”. I did tell him it was a cafe for adults and that was that. My point is that there is more to an adult cafe than what I answered to him and I was unwilling to get into all the details. I always try to answer my kids’ questions because I don’t want to dismiss them and I do agree that there are age-appropriate responses. However, I was hoping to avoid all issues of adult entertainment perhaps forever. I don’t think that means I lack imagination. I think it just makes me a prude (and frankly, I can live with that). ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/68 "2009-03-02T16:57:20Z")
> [@original\_fake](#): > > [http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/29391313/](http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/29391313/) > > Can someone please explain the mentality of banning something like this from their homes? > > I’ve seen this type of thing happen in various ways and it never stops being confusing. Most recently I overheard an angry mother demand that a worker in the store portrait studio be fired for having facial piercings because she “shouldn’t have to explain to her four-year-old why the girl behind the counter at the store has metal in her tongue”. Especially when the explanation is so easy for a four year old to understand. “Honey, sometimes stupid people do stupid things.” There ain’t a four year old in the world who would disagree with that. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/69 "2009-03-02T16:59:07Z")
> [@3trew](#): > > I really hope the guy at the grocery store thought the same thing when my daughter, having decided that Daddy’s explanation of how people come in all kinds of different shapes and sizes was insufficient, ran after him yelling “Hey, ascuse me, why are you so little?”. > > That was almost as much fun as the time she sought some clarification from the people at the next table in the restaurant by asking them what colour they were. I’ve had that exact thing happen a few times. At least your daughter said “excuse me”! 🙂 I have to be having a really horrible day for a little kid’s curiosity to bother me much, because heck, I would have been curious myself. I have much less patience with adults, though I will usually just ignore them (or pretend to) and go on with whatever I’m doing. Also, kids ask. Adults don’t, they just stare (at least on occasion when I notice people looking at me). I’d far rather be asked an innocent question, really. ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/70 "2009-03-02T17:27:34Z")
The _Daily Mash_ has thought up a suitable punishment for those stupid parents:- [http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/satan-makes-room-for-parents-who-complained-about-disabled-tv-presenter-200902241599/](http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/satan-makes-room-for-parents-who-complained-about-disabled-tv-presenter-200902241599/) ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/71 "2009-03-02T17:52:56Z")
We’re pretty open with most things and try to give age-appropriate explanations, but I absoluletly hate all the Natural Male Enhancement ads shoved down our throats (pun intended) at all hours of the day. ---
**Author:** ![GillianBoardman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc79bd/32.png) [@GillianBoardman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GillianBoardman)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/72 "2009-03-02T19:25:03Z")
> [@Kevbo](#): > > If a kid is going to freak out over such a disability, seems to be better that it doesn’t happen in person. My oldest daughter is a double amputee, and has been since she was a year old. We used to vacation at the beach every summer, and it wasn’t the other children that made my blood boil, it was their parents. We’d spread out the blanket, then my daughter would take off her prosthetics and make her way down to the water…other children would stare for a few minutes, and then if their parents didn’t rush to intervene, (which too many did!), theyd ask her what happened. She’d tell them. They’d listen, nod, and then usually ask her if she could swim, when the answer was yes, off they’d all go to play in the waves…now five minutes later they might be fighting over boogie boards or buckets, but that’s just normal. Adults, who should know better, would alternate between staring and pretending not to look. My inner Mama Bear would come out, and I’d want to smack them all. Maybe someday I will. She’s grown now, but still likes the beach, and adults who should know better still stare. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/73 "2009-03-02T19:28:36Z")
> [@TroubleAgain](#): > > Gah. My poor mom had to explain the basic mechanics of sex, and rape, because of a conversation I had with a classmate in 2nd or 3rd grade. > > “My daddy’s in jail for rape, but he didn’t really rape the lady, because he didn’t stick it in her.” > > :smack:⭕eek: Hmm. Well, I suppose knowing about them is one thing. I guess I meant, like showing them graphic porn depicting BDSM and rape. Then again, we probably don’t need to show them graphic porn at all. Since we can describe sex in general to kids without showing them porn. > [@norinew](#): > > Some years ago, when my 9YO **mudgirl** was in a family play-center (before she was old enough for Pre-K), one of the other mothers commented to me that she had to stop letting her kids watch _Blue’s Clues_ because Mrs. Pepper was pregnant, and she didn’t want to have to explain to her kids what _that_ was about. > > The real irony in the situation? The mother in question was pregnant! :rolleyes:😕 **norinew** –that’s really sad. Pregnancy is an off-limits discussion in that family? Gah. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/74 "2009-03-02T23:17:50Z")
Oh, shoot: remember the kerfuffle a few years ago when Mattel issued a pregnant Midge? Even though Midge, in the Barbieverse, is **married** to Alan, it was still disgraceful, shameful, too bad! And back in the '80s, there was a doll family, I think the Hart family, and that mother was pregnant, and there was a similiar outrage. Can’t even have a pregnant doll. Jeezoman. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/75 "2009-03-02T23:27:58Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > **norinew** –that’s really sad. Pregnancy is an off-limits discussion in that family? Gah. One of the worst things about limiting these discussions, IME, is that if you don’t answer a child’s questions, eventually they’ll stop asking, and go look for their info someplace else. Then heaven only knows _what_ misinformation they’re going to get! ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/76 "2009-03-02T23:34:04Z")
> [@amarone](#): > > According to [this](http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/tvandradioblog/2009/feb/24/cerrie-burnell-tv-disability-cbeebies) article, there were 9 official complaints. So I guess about 59,999,991 people didn’t complain. And the article I linked to also represents the overwhelming response to these small-minded people. 9 complaints. 😃 It really is important to remember that the vast majority of parents _didn’t_ complain. There wouldn’t have been 60million people watching, but it is a very ppopular channel, so the figures are still illuminating (and I bet a couple of thsoe complaints were from people who hadn’t even seen the presenter). > [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Personally I would go with: > > (under age 9-10 or so) “Those are ads for shows that only grownups go to. Also, don’t pick up stuff from the ground. It’s garbage and you don’t know where it’s been.” (Yes, I am turning into my grandmother; why do you ask?) > > (over age 9-10 or so and assuming we’ve already discussed what sex is) “Some people pay to have sex with other people. It’s against the law in most places.” Discussion of the moral rectitude of this may or may not follow, depending on how interested the kid is in the topic. That sounds about right to me. I can understand not wanting to talk to your kids about paid sex. Especially because some ads do make it pretty blatant that this is paid sex, so you can’t gloss over it. Still, you can find ways that won’t traumatise the kids at all. > [@Rilchiam](#): > > Yeah, man. > > Disclaimer: I am also not a parent, so I realize I don’t know my ass from a hole in the ground, but I don’t get this mania for explaining **everything** to kids. I would think that part of growth and development is learning how to figure things out for yourself. So give the kid a little bit of information, and let him process the rest of it as he goes along. I can’t help thinking that these detailed explanations are a good way to brainwash a child. > > (I can say ass, can I not?) I agree that you don’t necessarily have to sit them down and give them a long lecture, but sometimes older kids will come up with pretty detailed questions that deserve answers. It’d be rude to ignore them. > [@Nava](#): > > The 4th graders I was teaching Sunday school once came with all their homework done (suspicious) and behaved like little angels (oh my God), so we wrapped up the class in half the usual time. When I asked what the heck were they up to, they asked whether I’d please explain who was that Hitler guy that was so much on TV at the time (his fake diaries had just come to the light and not yet proven false) and who their parents refused to talk about. Would I normally talk about nazism to a bunch of 10-year-olds? No. Do I consider it a normal subject for “Jesus lovesya class”? No. But I did answer, and those “kids” are now taller than me and still give me hugs when we run into each other, and they still remember fondly that I was the only gronw-up who would explain what the fuss was about! Lovely. 🙂 Like the man on the bus, that someone else mentioned, who answered kids’ questions honestly, even if they were difficult - it’s a good thing to do. > [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > **Nava** , was this in Spain? why was there such odd reluctance by parents to talk about it? a hang-over from the Franco period? Many people find Nazism difficult to talk about even to adults, so they’re not sure how to explain it to a kid, or they don’t have a lot of info on it themselves. Others just might be too horrified at the thought of talking to their kids about someone who killed millions of people just because they were different - they want their kids to be shielded from that level of inhumanity for as long as possible. It’s an understandable squick, unlike the tiny number of people who want to shield their kids from normal people who happen to have disabilities. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/77 "2009-03-02T23:57:08Z")
> [@whiterabbit](#): > > … Should the parents grab the kids and run to prevent the kids from seeing them, lest they be “traumatized”? No, you are toally not understanding the nature of these complaints. The child is not the one who should be removed from the offensive scene. It is the person who is so rude as to be armless or legless who should be removed for the good of the children. There should be like, a complaint number to call, and a van will be dispatched with some people in nice white coats to take the bad people away. ---
**Author:** ![Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecc23a/32.png) [@Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicolas_Bourbaki)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/78 "2009-03-03T01:16:36Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > **Then again, we probably don’t need to show them graphic porn at all.** Since we can describe sex in general to kids without showing them porn. _For God’s sake, woman, who do you know that’s arguing for the opposition?!_ Please tell where they live, so I can take steps to avoid them. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/79 "2009-03-03T01:56:09Z")
> [@Nicolas\_Bourbaki](#): > > _For God’s sake, woman, who do you know that’s arguing for the opposition?!_ Please tell where they live, so I can take steps to avoid them. :eek: I had a friend in college who said her parents had once sat all the kids down and made them watch a porno. I don’t know if it was for sex ed purposes or if it was supposed to be like forcing your kid to smoke a cigarette so they won’t be tempted to take up the habit later. Or maybe porn had been found in the house, culprit unknown, and the punishment was humiliation for everyone. Anyway, my friend was the baby of the family – her siblings were teens but she was still in elementary school. She said the whole thing was really confusing, scary, and embarrassing for her. Sadly, this sort of brilliant decision making apparently wasn’t unusual for her parents. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821/80 "2009-03-03T02:23:08Z")
> [@original\_fake](#): > > [http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/29391313/](http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/29391313/) > > Can someone please explain the mentality of banning something like this from their homes? I thought the article explained it very well. Parents are concerned that the image of this woman might upset their children. I think it’s a legitimate concern, but, I must say, the response of those who want her off the air is not a proper course of action to combat their concerns. This is something that might actually scare their children or make them feel uncomfortable. This is a golden opportunity for children to be exposed to someone with a handicap in a safe environment where they might be able to expand their horizons. Odesio [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-my-kids-seeing-that/487821.md?page=5)