# I don't want the beans

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [December 6, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375 "2003-12-06T14:33:29Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/61 "2003-12-07T21:41:44Z")

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I tried the traditional British breakfast once when I was in London. Not only was I served baked beans, but they were COLD!

I stuck to Weetabix and milk after that.

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**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/62 "2003-12-07T22:07:07Z")

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Traditional Alabama breakfast (at my house this menu served only on weekends, with or without hangover):

Bacon - fried, of course, but not so brittle they turn to ash when bitten.

Sausage - link if my daughter is home, or I have say-so. Otherwise, patty variety.

Grits - floating in butter, with salt and pepper. Noooo, not sugar! Yankees mess up grits doing that. Just stop it!

Eggs- as my family thinks my middle name is “Flo”, these are cooked to order. Over-medium, sunny-side up, scrambled with cheese, hardboiled and frisbee.

Buttermilk biscuits - sometimes cathead, sometimes shot-glass size. My kids like the little bitty circles sometimes. Also with gobs of butter, or apple butter.

Gravy - usually whatever grease is leftover, with flour, milk, salt and pepper. My husband ususally makes the gravy as I can’t seem to get the consistency down. Nobody likes to chop up gravy and guzzle milk to get it down, as a rule.

SOMETIMES tomato gravy. Same as above only add maters. However, I have to be out of town when this is served because it makes me think of puking into the skillet, simply because it’s easier and looks the same.

Lots of strong, hot coffee for the hungover adults (if any) and orange juice, milk and/or Gatorade for the tots.

Actually, nobody but my eight-year-old has the Gatorade. He’s not hungover, either.

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**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/63 "2003-12-07T22:17:52Z")

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Sugar on grits? Ugh.

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**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/64 "2003-12-07T22:30:42Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Bruce\_Daddy \*  
> \*\*Sugar on grits? Ugh. \*\*

Grits? Ugh. 😃

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**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/65 "2003-12-07T22:53:07Z")

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What on Earth are frisbee eggs?

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**Author:** ![wendyrules](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/85e7bf/32.png) [@wendyrules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wendyrules)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/66 "2003-12-07T23:06:49Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sylkyn \*  
> \*\*Traditional Alabama breakfast (at my house this menu served only on weekends, with or without hangover):
> 
> Bacon - fried, of course, but not so brittle they turn to ash when bitten.
> 
> Sausage - link if my daughter is home, or I have say-so. Otherwise, patty variety.
> 
> Grits - floating in butter, with salt and pepper. Noooo, not sugar! Yankees mess up grits doing that. Just stop it!
> 
> Eggs- as my family thinks my middle name is “Flo”, these are cooked to order. Over-medium, sunny-side up, scrambled with cheese, hardboiled and frisbee.
> 
> Buttermilk biscuits - sometimes cathead, sometimes shot-glass size. My kids like the little bitty circles sometimes. Also with gobs of butter, or apple butter.
> 
> Gravy - usually whatever grease is leftover, with flour, milk, salt and pepper. My husband ususally makes the gravy as I can’t seem to get the consistency down. Nobody likes to chop up gravy and guzzle milk to get it down, as a rule.
> 
> SOMETIMES tomato gravy. Same as above only add maters. However, I have to be out of town when this is served because it makes me think of puking into the skillet, simply because it’s easier and looks the same.
> 
> Lots of strong, hot coffee for the hungover adults (if any) and orange juice, milk and/or Gatorade for the tots.
> 
> Actually, nobody but my eight-year-old has the Gatorade. He’s not hungover, either. \*\*

OMG!!! Bugger all that cooking in the morning! My breakfast consists of a strong hot cup of tea lovingly brought to me whilst languishing in bed. After sedately sipping said cup of tea, I eventually crawl out of bed and consume another two cups of tea and many, many cigarettes!

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**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/67 "2003-12-07T23:42:11Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sylkyn \*  
> \*\*Noooo, not sugar! Yankees mess up grits doing that. \*\*

No, no, no. Yankees put sugar in the _cornbread_ and mess it up.

We don’t put sugar on grits for the simple reason that we never eat 'em.

Fried potatoes and buttered toast provide all the grease and carbs we need to start the day off right.

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**Author:** ![lurksfromwork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@lurksfromwork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurksfromwork)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/68 "2003-12-07T23:44:07Z")

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Mmmm…shouldn’t be reading this after the Xmas party last night and the early shift this morning. All i can concentrate on is baaacccooooon!!!

Full english would go down a treat apart from that horrible black shit!

This keeps repeating in my head for some reason, over and over!  
Bacon  
Sausage  
scrambled eggs on toast with cheese  
fried tomatos  
baked beans  
toast  
sausages  
tea  
naked girlfriend cooking all this  
Mmmmm mMmmmmm

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**Author:** ![lurksfromwork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@lurksfromwork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurksfromwork)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/69 "2003-12-07T23:49:02Z")

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Oh yeah,

What are grits and biscuits??

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**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/70 "2003-12-07T23:50:37Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sylkyn \*  
> \*\*Traditional Alabama breakfast (at my house this menu served only on weekends, with or without hangover):
> 
> Bacon - fried, of course, but not so brittle they turn to ash when bitten.
> 
> Sausage - link if my daughter is home, or I have say-so. Otherwise, patty variety.
> 
> Grits - floating in butter, with salt and pepper. Noooo, not sugar! Yankees mess up grits doing that. Just stop it!
> 
> Eggs- as my family thinks my middle name is “Flo”, these are cooked to order. Over-medium, sunny-side up, scrambled with cheese, hardboiled and frisbee.
> 
> Buttermilk biscuits - sometimes cathead, sometimes shot-glass size. My kids like the little bitty circles sometimes. Also with gobs of butter, or apple butter.
> 
> Gravy - usually whatever grease is leftover, with flour, milk, salt and pepper. My husband ususally makes the gravy as I can’t seem to get the consistency down. Nobody likes to chop up gravy and guzzle milk to get it down, as a rule.
> 
> SOMETIMES tomato gravy. Same as above only add maters. However, I have to be out of town when this is served because it makes me think of puking into the skillet, simply because it’s easier and looks the same.
> 
> Lots of strong, hot coffee for the hungover adults (if any) and orange juice, milk and/or Gatorade for the tots.
> 
> Actually, nobody but my eight-year-old has the Gatorade. He’s not hungover, either. \*\*

Holy mother of eggs!

Who the hell can eat all of this at 8 AM???

In NY -

weekday breakfast - toasted buttered bagel w/a shitload of coffee (or tea in my case)

Weekend breakfast at the diner - eggs over easy, rye or wheat toast, diced potatoes with green pepper and eggs - or if we felt adventurous, challah french toast with bacon.

Now, I very rarely eat breakfast.

Ava

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**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/71 "2003-12-08T00:11:10Z")

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“Grits” are finely ground, hulled corn (maize, to you) kernels that are boiled in water and served as a breakfast side dish in the southeastern U.S. Think _polenta_. Or _corn meal mush_.  
A “biscuit” is a small leavened and shortened bread. Usually made from a dough with baking soda, rolled out to a uniform thickness, cut into the form of a disk, and baked. Breakfast biscuits are usually broken open and buttered (and jellied), or served with with fried ham and gravy.

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**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/72 "2003-12-08T00:15:40Z")

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**calm kiwi** asked:

> [@](#):
>
> **What on Earth are frisbee eggs?**

Well, I’ve come to call them that because they’re very hard fried, nearly to the status of a frisbee. The dogs love to catch them as they come sailing out in the backyard! Yay! A toy you can really fight over, break a tooth, then eat!

**avabeth** exclaimed:

> [@](#):
>
> **Who the hell can eat all of this at 8 AM???**

Well, it has been _done_ at 8 AM, but if you’ll note the subtle references to occasional hangovers, most times it is done around 10:30 or 11:00 AM…thus re-defining it as brunch. Also, I might note again, that it is _not_ done during normal work weeks. Most days everyone makes do with cereal (kids), coffee and cigs (yours truly) and leftover pork steak with onion, peppers and Tony’s Cajun Seasoning [sup]TM[/sup] stuffed between two bread heels, with a swig of Powerade left out on the counter from the night before (Sylkyn’s husband, the gourmet).

**lurksfromwork** , biscuits are round doughy concoctions made from flour, buttermilk (if you remember to buy it, regular homogenized if you forget, and water if you’re desperate) and eggs all mixed together and then rolled out in a flat (not TOO flat) sheet of dough. (Actually, I use Pioneer Baking Mix [sup]TM[/sup] because I’m lazy and it’s messy enough as it is.) Cut into shapes with coffee cup (for cathead size), cookie cutters (for regular size) or shot glasses (for cute size). Put on slightly greased cookie sheet in oven for about 15-20 minutes until they are golden brown.

If they’re too done, they’re excellent paperweights and make down-home, classy Christmas gifts. These should make thuds when dumped into the bowl. If not, they’re edible.

Grits are well…grits. Sort of the leftover zit poppings of hominy (errruuuggghh…I can’t _stand_ hominy…), but actually wonderful, CONTRARY to opinions above on this thread. They’re actually derived from corn. Hell, I don’t know what they are. Just eat 'em. With no sugar. But lots of butter. I’ve been Southern all my life, and I can’t even fix breakfast if I’m out of grits. It’s just wrong, is all.

And **Ukelele Ike** , we do tend to put a spoonful of sugar (sometimes…depends on my mood) in cornbread, but what is muuuuuch better is cracklin cornbread.

I hope my husband does not read this thread. He lives for cracklin cornbread. It’s the hardening your arteries are waiting for.

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**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/73 "2003-12-08T00:28:39Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sylkyn \*
> 
> * * *
> 
> **avabeth** exclaimed:  
> Well, it has been _done_ at 8 AM, but if you’ll note the subtle references to occasional hangovers, most times it is done around 10:30 or 11:00 AM…thus re-defining it as brunch. Also, I might note again, that it is _not_ done during normal work weeks. Most days everyone makes do with cereal (kids), coffee and cigs (yours truly) and leftover pork steak with onion, peppers and Tony’s Cajun Seasoning [sup]TM[/sup] stuffed between two bread heels, with a swig of Powerade left out on the counter from the night before (Sylkyn’s husband, the gourmet).  
> \*\*

Okay, that makes more sense. 10 or 11 AM, I can see. I don’t know why I thought this would be at 8 AM on the weekdays.

Although - I wouldn’t mind knowing how to prepare that tomato gravy. I’m a big tomato freak and it sounds right up my alley. Is it just like regular gravy with pureed tomatoes or cut-up tomatoes?

Ava

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**Author:** ![lurksfromwork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@lurksfromwork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurksfromwork)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/74 "2003-12-08T00:31:50Z")

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Thank ya!  
Wouldn’t mind trying either of those two…with the full english as backup just in case.

Corn is corn down here.

Maize is what i get lost in.

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**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/75 "2003-12-08T00:47:13Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by avabeth \*  
> \*\*  
> Although - I wouldn’t mind knowing how to prepare that tomato gravy. I’m a big tomato freak and it sounds right up my alley. Is it just like regular gravy with pureed tomatoes or cut-up tomatoes?
> 
> Ava \*\*

_(shivering uncontrollably…)_ I am the Anti-Tomato Freak, and it pains me that you would focus on that _one_ snippet of barf I stupidly inserted into my otherwise wonderful breakfast repast!

But yeah…it’s a little grease (bacon, preferably) flour, milk and chopped up (urrrgggghh) into teeny-tiny bloody specks (ack!!) tomatoes. Heat until boiling, then simmer. In my case, then lay back down with cold cloth to avoid dry-heaves.

I am the lousiest gravy-maker in the world, but I’m pretty sure that’s how my husband makes it. Gotta practice some, if you’re like me, however. It can’t be too thin or too thick. Or in my case, too toxic.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/76 "2003-12-08T00:50:12Z")

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And I wish to apologize to **spogga** for hijacking his thread into a nightmare of Southern idiosyncrasies.

I return you to your regularly scheduled blood lard bits.

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**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/77 "2003-12-08T00:50:40Z")

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Since you’re all so busy cooking breakfast, would you might whipping up some Huevos Rancheros for me? Extra Spicy and extra Tortillas please?

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**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/78 "2003-12-08T01:14:38Z")

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I, too, thought this would be along the lines of the “She really wanted the mayo” thread at first. Quite enjoyable, though, and an interesting cultural learning experience.

As you’ve noticed from the variance in definitions of the typical American breakfast, what you would get in a breakfast here really depends on where in the country you are. A typical breakfast at a diner here in Southern California would generally consist of:

2 eggs, fried or scrambled (usually fried)  
Buttered toast  
Sausage or bacon  
Orange juice, coffee or tea (I’m the only person I know who orders tea in restaurants)  
Hash browns

I used to live in the Washington, D.C. area, and there I remember getting a biscuit (as described Sylkyn) with breakfast most of the time. French toast also seemed more common there. Otherwise, not that much difference.

A lot of Californians also take hash (forget the browns) with their breakfast, but that’s another story. 😉

Also, breakfast or another meal in America (especially in California) isn’t necessarily American. We are the beneficiaries of a lot of cultural mixing, and I (as well as most of my friends) consume a lot of Mexican food and food that either originates in or is inspired by various other cultures. I’m Jewish, too, and that’s another set of ethnic food I eat a lot.

Are the potato cakes described by spogga, anything like latkes (potato pancakes)? If so, I’m moving to England.

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**Author:** ![SparrowHawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@SparrowHawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SparrowHawk)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/79 "2003-12-08T01:38:52Z")

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Nobody’s mentioned Portugese sausage and rice. I can’t understand it.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-the-beans/217375/80 "2003-12-08T01:40:45Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sylkyn \*  
> **we do tend to put a spoonful of sugar (sometimes…depends on my mood) in cornbread**

Well, the other Southerners should be arriving shortly to beat you with their kudzu rakes. If therre’s one thing I’ve gleaned from my years on this board, it’s that you should NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES add either wheat flour or sugar to cornbread, or be condemned as a Scalawag.

I do MY cornbread in a greased 8-inch cast iron skillet, with only white cornmeal, buttermilk, egg, salt, and cream of tartar. Although I occasionally get razzed about the egg, most of the Dixiecats here respect that.

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