# I don't want to attend my friend's son's high school concert **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 7, 2023, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-to-attend-my-friends-sons-high-school-concert/992780 "2023-11-07T21:05:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2023, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-to-attend-my-friends-sons-high-school-concert/992780/81 "2023-11-08T18:59:34Z")
You could make the excuse that you have to pick up your dry cleaning, but that won’t wash. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2023, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-to-attend-my-friends-sons-high-school-concert/992780/82 "2023-11-08T19:59:35Z")
I could say my zipper got stuck, but I don’t think that would fly. mmm ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2023, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-to-attend-my-friends-sons-high-school-concert/992780/83 "2023-11-08T20:05:10Z")
I was thinking that you could say you’d be in Dayton that weekend, making a pilgrimage to Orville and Wilbur Wright’s original bicycle shop. But I decided against it … for the very same reason. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2023, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-to-attend-my-friends-sons-high-school-concert/992780/84 "2023-11-08T20:54:43Z")
You have to rake your yard, and leave it at that. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2023, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-to-attend-my-friends-sons-high-school-concert/992780/85 "2023-11-08T21:06:05Z")
In the spirit of smart ass answers: “I will gladly give your son’s music program a donation of $70, and then you can donate $70 to my son’s (baseball team, arts program, scouts, etc)” ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2023, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-to-attend-my-friends-sons-high-school-concert/992780/86 "2023-11-08T21:23:29Z")
> [@Tibby](#): > > A _good_ friend will accept that rely with no explanation needed. A _bad_ friend will hound you for an explanation. > > A bad friend can then be either lied to or offended without regret—he forced your hand. [It’s beyond my control](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRxe9elGcMU) ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2023, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-to-attend-my-friends-sons-high-school-concert/992780/87 "2023-11-08T21:45:40Z")
Seriously though, it sounds like this is their fundraising concert. If you want to support, but don’t want to go, why not buy a few tickets and gift them to an elementary school band program closer to the concert venue? Or maybe to a family homeless shelter? Someplace where kids who need inspiration might get the chance to see a concert they otherwise wouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2023, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-to-attend-my-friends-sons-high-school-concert/992780/88 "2023-11-08T21:54:15Z")
It was prob blanket invite to local friends, feel free to show interest 👍 but decline to attend. Really they’d be delighted and surprised if you showed but it’s not going to put a strain in n your relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2023, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-to-attend-my-friends-sons-high-school-concert/992780/89 "2023-11-08T22:01:57Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I would be effectively saying “I don’t really care what your kid is up to.” No reason to start lying now. ---
**Author:** ![raspberry\_hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@raspberry\_hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raspberry_hunter)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2023, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-to-attend-my-friends-sons-high-school-concert/992780/90 "2023-11-08T22:05:39Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > > [@MandaJo](#): > > > > I will say this: while its true no one is owed an explanation, people who never give explanations as a matter of policy are hard to feel close to. > > Not relevant in the case because the friend is selling something and so no explanation is required to decline. > > If the friend tries to push after a response, “I’m sorry, I can’t.” then I would seriously reconsider the friendship. Yeah, this. I feel the same way as @MandaJo about people who never give explanations in general, but at the same time I would not feel that “come to my kid’s fundraiser/concert” specifically needed an explanation to decline. ---
**Author:** ![minor7flat5](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minor7flat5/32/258_2.png) [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-to-attend-my-friends-sons-high-school-concert/992780/91 "2023-11-09T16:22:06Z")
> [@tofor](#): > > You can also just say, “Thanks, but not going to make it this time” This is my preference. You owe nobody an excuse for most social things. Be polite and be honest. Giving an excuse opens up the “but maybe you could…” discussion. For example, “I won’t be able to drive there; my wife will be needing the car that week and mine has issues” would simply result in “Hey, I can stop by and pick you up!” The fact of the matter is you don’t want to go. You don’t need to justify that to anyone. Just say “Thanks for including me, but I won’t be able to go.” and if they have a rejoinder, then simply say “Sorry, I won’t be going” and repeat that as necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Mikkel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikkel/32/13151_2.png) [@Mikkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikkel)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2023, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-to-attend-my-friends-sons-high-school-concert/992780/92 "2023-11-11T12:22:11Z")
> [@slicedalone](#): > > It might be simpler to fork over the 70 bucks, have a last-minute emergency, Or, if the $70 hurt to much, then just 35 “We can’t both go” and then “I couldn’t make it”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-to-attend-my-friends-sons-high-school-concert/992780.md?page=4)