# I don't want your money - should I be insulted **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 26, 2018, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-your-money-should-i-be-insulted/813187 "2018-04-26T21:50:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2018, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-your-money-should-i-be-insulted/813187/41 "2018-04-27T14:16:56Z")
Were I in her place, I’d do the same thing. You did her a “solid” and got her a lot more money than she would have gotten otherwise. She is attempting to show her gratitude. What is there to be insulted about? ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2018, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-your-money-should-i-be-insulted/813187/42 "2018-04-27T14:32:04Z")
What \*\*Jasmine \*\*said. From her perspective, you earned her an unexpected $250. She would feel bad for not giving you a cut of it. You should take the money to make \*her \*feel good. For you to feel insulted is expecting her to read your mind; what she is doing is totally reasonable. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2018, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-your-money-should-i-be-insulted/813187/43 "2018-04-27T14:38:12Z")
I don’t see any future in taking offense at actions that are not meant to offend. Personally I don’t see any benefit to taking offense when it is intended either. Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2018, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-your-money-should-i-be-insulted/813187/44 "2018-04-27T14:58:32Z")
Not liking money… How about not being completely comfortable handling it? Cause honestly, not liking money is not going to work out well. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2018, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-your-money-should-i-be-insulted/813187/45 "2018-04-27T16:17:24Z")
> [@LiveFree](#): > > Plus, I actually don’t like money. You’re right to not like money, filthy, dirty, money causes all the world’s problems. I’ll tell you what, get that stinking money as far away from yourself as possible and give it to me. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2018, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-your-money-should-i-be-insulted/813187/46 "2018-04-27T16:20:18Z")
Take the money and treat yourself and your friend to a fabulous dinner. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2018, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-your-money-should-i-be-insulted/813187/47 "2018-04-27T16:26:57Z")
I’ve found it to be pretty common for someone who sells something on behalf of someone else to get a cut of the profit, particularly if there is a substantial one. I think you’re overthinking this, OP, and agree with the suggestion that you just take this person to lunch or dinner with the $50. Or if that would feel weird, just graciously say thanks. Out of curiosity, why do you feel so insulted? Is it a sense of pride? I know you like to do this, and I can imagine a little shyness or embarrassment if this is truly unexpected, but why take offense? Do you get similarly offended when someone does something nice for you? This is more or less just the person for whom you did something nice simply returning the favor. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2018, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-your-money-should-i-be-insulted/813187/48 "2018-04-27T16:40:28Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > Out of curiosity, why do you feel so insulted? Is it a sense of pride? I know you like to do this, and I can imagine a little shyness or embarrassment if this is truly unexpected, but why take offense? Do you get similarly offended when someone does something nice for you? This is more or less just the person for whom you did something nice simply returning the favor. Since the OP opened the door with the comment about alcoholism in the family, it is a pretty common situation for the family of alcoholics to deal with issues of codependency, which can feature a tendency towards one-way relationships. Sometimes the prospect of having a relationship based on reciprocal giving and support can be unnerving, because it’s not within such an individual’s comfort zone, since they are so used to having to be the provider and not the beneficiary. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2018, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-your-money-should-i-be-insulted/813187/49 "2018-04-27T16:55:24Z")
Her offering it isn’t an insult, but you refusing it could be. Especially if your main reason for refusing it is that she needs it more than you. Her offering you a share in the profits is acting like the two of you are on an equal footing, but a refusal would indicate that that’s not how you see things. You want to be the giver, and that leaves her to be the grateful recipient. I doubt she wants to be the recipient of your charity; she, hopefully, wants to be your friend. Doing her a favour (without actually asking if she wanted you to do so, if I read the OP right) and refusing to allow her to reciprocate could be seen as pretty domineering and/or patronising. You said she was cranky today, and that could be unconnected, but it could be because she feels like you just decided she was doing something wrong and took over. Yeah, she got more money because you did, but as you’re well aware, money isn’t everything. Just take the money. Be nice about it. Don’t insist on trying to be the only generous person in a friendship. ---
**Author:** ![LiveFree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@LiveFree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveFree)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2018, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-your-money-should-i-be-insulted/813187/50 "2018-04-27T17:01:54Z")
I’m going to take the money. Most of you have made some good points. I know I’d want to show my appreciation if I were in her place. So I get what most of you are saying [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-want-your-money-should-i-be-insulted/813187.md?page=2)