# I don't work. I don't have little kids. Am I a SAHM? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 6, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-work-i-dont-have-little-kids-am-i-a-sahm/627480 "2012-07-06T23:55:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2012, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-work-i-dont-have-little-kids-am-i-a-sahm/627480/21 "2012-07-07T18:45:35Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I really don’t understand why the OP has any confusion whatsoever. You are the very definition of a SAHM. Yeah I’ve never heard of someone saying a SAHM isn’t a SAHM just because her kids are older than 5. You’re a SAHM until your kid turns 18. Still, based on what you do, self-identifying as a SAHM isn’t truly accurate. SAHM in itself kind of implies that you don’t do anything outside the home (other than errands). If asked, “So what do you do for a living?” I would say something like, “I certify pit bulls as part of the Canine Good Citizen program at the Sacramento animal shelter.” Bringing up that it’s volunteer work isn’t even necessary. I mean if you want to say that, that’s cool. But I can’t imagine an acquaintance asking you, oh do you get paid for that or do you do it for free? ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2012, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-work-i-dont-have-little-kids-am-i-a-sahm/627480/22 "2012-07-07T20:13:24Z")
> [@Pai325](#): > > Schools, hospitals, libraries, and many other places rely on people like you, so it’s not a pejorative. :dubious: I’m pretty sure schools, hospitals, libraries, and other places have paid employees that do the vast majority of the work. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2012, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-work-i-dont-have-little-kids-am-i-a-sahm/627480/23 "2012-07-07T22:11:49Z")
When people ask what you do, the best answer is; “As I please!”. ---
**Author:** ![Uber\_the\_Goober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/58956e/32.png) [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2012, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-work-i-dont-have-little-kids-am-i-a-sahm/627480/24 "2012-07-07T22:20:26Z")
Sounds more like SAHW, (wife) or like someone else said just go for “MILF”. ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2012, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-work-i-dont-have-little-kids-am-i-a-sahm/627480/25 "2012-07-07T22:32:09Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > …Anyway, when people ask what you “do,” it’s usually because they are trying to keep the social chitchat going. Since that’s the goal, why not say something that promotes it… I agree with CairoCarol, there’s no reason to get defensive when asked (OP does not sound defensive but some answers offered by other posters do), people are just trying to find something to talk about. I am sort of in the same situation…I have three children and they’re all in school (well, not right now they’re not, sigh) so I feel a slight need sometimes to account for what I do with all the free time while they’re in school (no big mystery really, errands and housework pretty much covers it. And the Dope of course). I almost always say I’m a stay-at-home-mom. If a form asks me for my occupation I say “homemaker”. What do you say on forms? Occasionally to be flip I say I’m a lady of leisure. Sometimes in answer to “What do you do?” I just say “Nothing!” with a manic grin of happiness. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-work-i-dont-have-little-kids-am-i-a-sahm/627480/26 "2012-07-08T03:12:19Z")
> [@Hedda\_Rosa](#): > > Well I’m not sure what title you want to give yourself but being home with your teen is important. My husband and I hope to organize our lives so that I can stop working when our kids get to high school - and I have worked every day of both of my kids lives. > > Basically I’ve always thought that teens need their moms home and underfoot a lot more than preschoolers or kindergardeners do. Your 5 year old isn’t going to ruin her life in the hours from 3 - 6PM but no matter how well you raised her in the early years your 16 year old just might. I quit my job when my kids were 11 and 12 for exactly this reason. It was supposed to be for only a year since we couldn’t afford for it to be permanent but it turned into almost 3 by the time I found a new job. It wasn’t ideal but it had a huge impact on my relationship with the kids and I think it was a really important time to be with them. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-work-i-dont-have-little-kids-am-i-a-sahm/627480/27 "2012-07-08T04:49:56Z")
Take your pick- SAHM, homemaker, housewife, retired, charity worker, pitbull program manager, part-time writer, etc. While I agree it’s not cool too denigrate someone’s choices, I’m not sure why this topic “isn’t anyone’s business.” If you were a model, lawyer, day-laborer, business owner, psychic or unemployed-in-mom’s-basement, people would probably want to talk about it. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-work-i-dont-have-little-kids-am-i-a-sahm/627480/28 "2012-07-08T05:14:03Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > :dubious: I’m pretty sure schools, hospitals, libraries, and other places have paid employees that do the vast majority of the work. Of course they do, but volunteers pick up the slack. At school they shelve books in the library and check out books. In elementary they often do class parties, cut ot the laminating, Xerox, and other clerical jobs. In hospitals they valet park the cars for the elderly or infirm, bring around newspapers, books, and flowers. I didnt mean that they did surgery or taught classes (although as a volunteer in my daughter’s school I graded papers, took kids out in the hall for mini-lessons and gave make-up Iowa tests), and I’m sorry if I gave the impression I thought they did. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-work-i-dont-have-little-kids-am-i-a-sahm/627480/29 "2012-07-08T11:53:30Z")
Well what do you do? What is your productive weekday like? Is it mainly housekeeping, child related or volunteer work? How would you place the order of the 3? If you had to assign a percentage to each what would it be? ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-work-i-dont-have-little-kids-am-i-a-sahm/627480/30 "2012-07-08T22:57:51Z")
Sometimes I call myself “domestic manager”, but lately I say I’m semi-retired from the full time job of parenting. And spousing too. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-work-i-dont-have-little-kids-am-i-a-sahm/627480/31 "2012-07-09T01:02:23Z")
I think you’re a stay-at-home Mum until your children are no longer children. I didn’t return to work until my younger son was in Year 5 (11 years old) but it never occurred to me that I was anything other than a stay-at-home Mum. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-dont-work-i-dont-have-little-kids-am-i-a-sahm/627480.md?page=1)