# I feel dishonest **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 18, 2012, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584 "2012-07-18T01:37:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584/1 "2012-07-18T01:37:59Z")
My mother recently got an ipad after she saw mine when I went to visit her. Mainly, she wants it to keep track of her traveling children. Anyway, while I was visiting I showed her how we could play words with friends. So we have been playing but I have sometimes been letting her win. She likes to play for fun. I feel so dishonest. ---
**Author:** ![goonhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ebca7d/32.png) [@goonhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goonhead)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584/2 "2012-07-18T01:59:29Z")
Does your mom play Words with other people? If she’s accustomed to playing against competitive people, she should be able to handle losing to you. ---
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584/3 "2012-07-18T02:24:36Z")
No, she only plays with me. She calls me and we stay on the phone the whole time. My Mom is old school. She is not competitive at all. I am enjoying spending the time with her. I just feel a dishonest. ---
**Author:** ![goonhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ebca7d/32.png) [@goonhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goonhead)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584/4 "2012-07-18T02:33:33Z")
You could gradually let up as she gets better at the game. It probably doesn’t hurt to go easy on her as she’s learning it, but she could eventually be ready to play against other people. ---
**Author:** ![FeAudrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7feea3/32.png) [@FeAudrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FeAudrey)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584/5 "2012-07-18T02:59:28Z")
I have no idea how this particular game works, but I do know how to deal with disparities in game players’ abilities: handicapping. Offer the less-advantaged competitor (child, disabled, slower-responding, new to the game, etc) some compensating advantage – extra points, playing pieces, turns, time, whatever will level the playing field. It preserves the self-respect of the players as being fair, and can be tweaked until the wins are balanced. Or not, if you want to tilt the outcome a little … 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584/6 "2012-07-18T03:08:37Z")
Are you looking to solve any problem here? If so, then what? Or, are you just venting or getting it off your chest? ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584/7 "2012-07-18T03:12:42Z")
> [@echo7tango](#): > > Are you looking to solve any problem here? If so, then what? Or, are you just venting or getting it off your chest? I’m guessing this stuff is something mundane and pointless she must share. ---
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584/8 "2012-07-18T03:33:57Z")
I was just putting it out there. My Mom doesn’t use a computer so she is learning a lot at once. I don’t know why I feel so guilty. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584/9 "2012-07-18T03:48:43Z")
Nah, don’t feel guilty. You’re entertaining her, probably teaching her new words, keeping her mind sharp. Do not feel guilty, do not let her know you ‘let’ her win. Just enjoy the time with your mom. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584/10 "2012-07-18T04:29:38Z")
I would feel awful if she found out. I know she is happy to play and connect with me. There are a lot of miles between us. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584/11 "2012-07-18T04:57:40Z")
> [@\_Olive](#): > > I would feel awful if she found out. I know she is happy to play and connect with me. There are a lot of miles between us. Oh, so I wasn’t supposed to send her a link to this thread? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584/12 "2012-07-18T06:18:45Z")
Are you sure she doesn’t know? If she’s just happy to connect with you, she might be humoring you to keep it going and make you happy. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584/13 "2012-07-18T12:14:34Z")
When you were little, did she ever play games with you and let you win? ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-dishonest/628584/14 "2012-07-18T13:18:51Z")
My mother sends me cheques for my birthday and Christmas. I never cash them. I blatantly lie to her about the lovely things I buy with the money, and thank her for these fabulous gifts. Do I feel guilty? Hell no. It makes her day to think she’s been able to buy me something nice; and it makes _my_ day knowing that she has this pleasure without the financial pain. Don’t waste your time feeling bad, **~Olive~**. Someone’s gotta win, and it might as well be your mum.