# I feel like a dumbass **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 28, 2000, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852 "2000-09-28T07:49:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/1 "2000-09-28T07:49:34Z")
I ran out of gas on the way to work today. I’ve noticed for a couple of days that my gas tank was near empty, but I kept saying, “I’ll get to it tomorrow.” Well, today, I was kind of late to work, so I didn’t have a chance to go to the gas station (which is approximately 20 seconds’ drive from my studio). So I hopped in the car and hoped I could make the 15-minute drive. I was almost there when I started hearing unpleasant “I am empty” noises from the gas tank, and the steering began to freeze up. Thankfully, there was a legal parking space right in front of me that I was able to roll into, so I could hop out and run to work. The nice people at the gas station that my office is next to let me borrow a gas can instead of making me buy one – I come in there every day for sodas and Oreos, so they recognize me. At least I didn’t have to shell out 10 bucks for being a dumbass, too. It was a pretty pleasant day, otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/2 "2000-09-28T08:05:32Z")
Everybody manages to run out of gas once, **Snooooopy**. You’re not a dumbass unless you do it again within the next five years. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/3 "2000-09-28T08:49:03Z")
You’re not a dumbass, Snooooopy. After all, you picked the best place to run out of gas. 🙂 I had quite a vivid mental picture of your gas tank sputtering, “I’m ::cough:: empty! ::wheeze::: I’m ::gasp:: empty!” in a scratchy, gas-tank voice (however _that_ sounds). I should lay off the caffeine. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/4 "2000-09-28T15:02:43Z")
Snooop - (sorry if I forgot some o’s) you are not an idiot. I can’t stress this enough. You, are NOT, an idiot. My SO, however, is. He managed, in my old car, to run out of gas four times. Under exactly the same circumstances. In exactly the same spot on our drive home. He also has forgotten to fill necessary and life sustaining engine fluids and managed to effectively kill two other cars via cracked heads in the space of two months. THAT, my dear, is being an idiot. Snooops, my dear, you have a LONG way to go to fit the dumbass category. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/5 "2000-09-28T15:11:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > I had quite a vivid mental picture of your gas tank sputtering, “I’m ::cough:: empty! ::wheeze::: I’m ::gasp:: empty!” in a scratchy, gas-tank voice (however _that_ sounds). I had an old car with an electric fuel pump that made a clicking noise. And the clicking noise changed when it started sucking air instead of gasoline. I still ran out of gas once, but I guess a 60-second warning is better than none at all. ---
**Author:** ![wardensu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/71c47a/32.png) [@wardensu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wardensu)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/6 "2000-09-28T15:15:05Z")
Snooooopy you’re not an idiot. I know because I’m blond and do it all the time. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/7 "2000-09-28T15:37:11Z")
I’ll relay (whether you want to hear it or not) my idiot running out of gas story, and you’ll feel soooo much better about yourself. I’ve only run out of gas once. It was when I was 16, I’d been driving about a month. There I am tooling down the rural back roads of northern Maine in my dad’s 76 Pinto wagon, with the cool bubble windows in the back, without a care in the world when - sputter sputter - cough cough - dead engine. Now here’s me - “What happened? Why did the car stop? What is going on?” I call my dad from a nearby house and explain to him exactly what happened - did he think the battery died? - did it throw a rod? - did the flux modulator over condense the tubulator? Hell I had no idea what happened. Dad - “Son, what’s the gas guage say?” Me - “Oops.” So there, put that in yer pipe and smoke it. Who’s the bigger idiot now? ---
**Author:** ![SeaDiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@SeaDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDiver)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/8 "2000-09-28T17:22:41Z")
Hey, don’t feel bad. It’s not like they publicly flog people for stuff like running out of gas. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/9 "2000-09-28T20:42:53Z")
**Snooooopy** , you ran out of gas? Say it ain’t so! Now _what_ are you going to put in your newspaper column? ::ducks and runs:: ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bc8723/32.png) [@Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Lord_Davidson)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/10 "2000-09-28T20:53:58Z")
One night, I went out with my friends. We drove separate cars (7 of us in 2 cars) and were on our way to the new Hooters in a nearby town. Well, I had to get on Interstate 15 (Merritt Parkway, for all you Connecticut-ites) to get there the easy way. Just as I’m about to get on the entrance ramp, I look at my gas gauge: empty. Freaking out, I pulled a U-turn, cut off 2 cars, and rocketed to the gas station right near the highway entrance. There, I used my last $10 for gas, which meant I wouldn’t be eating anything at Hooters (not that people go there to EAT), but one of my friends bought me a steak and cheese sandwich. What a guy. ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/11 "2000-09-28T21:16:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SeaDiver \* > \*\*Hey, don’t feel bad. It’s not like they publicly flog people for stuff like running out of gas. 😃 \*\* When did they change that policy? Is this Bush’s “compassionate conservatism”? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/12 "2000-09-28T22:15:44Z")
Yikes! I’ll bet the Red Baron got away, too. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/13 "2000-09-29T02:42:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pluto \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by SeaDiver \* > > \*\*Hey, don’t feel bad. It’s not like they publicly flog people for stuff like running out of gas. 😃 \*\* > > When did they change that policy? Is this Bush’s “compassionate conservatism”? \*\* No **pluto** , George Bush’s concept of “compassionate conservatism” means calling the homeless, “ **outdoorsmen**.” ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/14 "2000-09-29T05:24:40Z")
Way to get your political opinions in, **Zenster**. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/15 "2000-09-29T05:55:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MysterEcks \* > \*\*Way to get your political opinions in, **Zenster**. :rolleyes: \*\* Check in **MysterEcks** , when you have something funny to say. PS: Snooooopy, had some fun last weekend, didn’t we? ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/16 "2000-09-29T06:21:59Z")
**Zenster** said: > [@](#): > > Check in **MysterEcks** , when you have something funny to say. Ok. Al-Buddhist-temple-Gore and campaign finance reform. (Way to get my political opinions in, huh, **Zenster**? :D) ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/17 "2000-09-29T16:24:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MysterEcks \* > \*\ ***Zenster** said: > > > [@](#): > > > > Check in **MysterEcks** , when you have something funny to say. > > Ok. Al-Buddhist-temple-Gore and campaign finance reform. > > (Way to get my political opinions in, huh, **Zenster**? :D) > > \*\* Ooooh **MysterEcks** , you almost slipped that one right past me, it was soooo subtle and funny. If you merely want to Gore bash why not do it [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=40203). That way you won’t have to be funny or brilliant (which you weren’t anyway). [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/18 "2000-09-29T19:50:37Z")
Hey, Zen, is this the line to lick Al’s asshole? I’ve got some extra jelly and syrup, if you want any. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/19 "2000-09-29T20:59:52Z")
Hey **Tim** , why don’t you go back and find that green magic marker that someone used to write **“penis eater”** on your face. That way I can mark a spot for you to pour your syrup on. Al Gore’s all asshole if you hadn’t noticed by now. You probably just probably haven’t bothered to read [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=773071) thread. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Lucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852/20 "2000-09-29T21:09:24Z")
My ex-husband and I owned a business. He was working one day driving the company truck: A big truck. He calles to tell me there’s some problem with it that he can’t figure out so he’s getting a tow home. this was extrememly expensive. You know the end of the story, of course. What an idiot. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-a-dumbass/34852.md?page=2)