# I feel like my needs are simple compared to most people **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 21, 2015, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476 "2015-05-21T04:50:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/1 "2015-05-21T04:50:40Z")
Also that my brain is emptier, or less noisy or something. People have told me how they view a situation, or how people are viewing each other in some situation and the level of detail they ascribe and judgement they make so much more complicated and detailed than I would. Also inner monologues or self judgements, again so detailed and complicated and “noisy”, I almost find it scary to think of being like that. Ditto for needs, I think if I could boil down my ideal life to a simple phrase it would be predictable and conflict free, drama free as much a possible. I want power over no one except myself and my own life, I want no power over others, I don’t care if I am respected or hated(as long as it doesn’t have real world consequences) and having to puzzle over how I am viewed seems like drama to me and yea I want to run away from that. I hate expectations on me, either good or bad. I don’t care if no one except my wife and son remember me when I’m dead, I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered, I do not want or care to make a mark on the world. I would be happy to be forgotten once the two people I love dearly pass on by humanity. I dunno my ideal life would be having enough money I never had to worry about working, and then live as cheaply and anonymously and invisibly as possible in a crowded urban area. As long as I have access to books, movies, educational material, raise and teach my son and spend time with my wife, get to experiment or cook and build and learn I’d be happy as a clam. ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/2 "2015-05-21T10:16:46Z")
> [@grude](#): > > I dunno my ideal life would be having enough money I never had to worry about working… There’s always a catch, and that one’s usually it. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/3 "2015-05-21T10:31:52Z")
I’m with you. If I didn’t have to worry about money, my needs would be fulfilled by a tiny apartment with internet access, and minimal interaction with people. Well, if I really didn’t have to worry about money, I would first go on that decade-long debauched binge in Bangkok that I’ve been planning. But after that it would be all recluse in tiny apartment. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/4 "2015-05-21T10:59:44Z")
You may find more people in line with your thinking than you might expect. I too look for a drama-free life as much as possible. I have my own family and small circle of friends beyond that but they are all low-maintenance (probably why we are still friends). I earn plenty but spend little (apart from holidays) “things” wear me out. As long as I have a creative and sporting outlet and chance to read and watch films then I’m fine. I find more pleasure in free rhubarb from our small garden than I ever could from a Porsche. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/5 "2015-05-21T16:12:38Z")
At the risk of sounding like a dick, I’m gonna wager that the reason you don’t think you have many needs is because you have everything you need. You have a job, you have a house, you have a wife, and a child. You may in fact be a simple man, I don’t know. But I’m guessing your circumstances aren’t as humble as they coud be. I have never met a person who admits they thrive on drama or that they are high-maintenance. Most people think they are child-like innocents with simple pleasures. This includes myself. But alas, here I am, typing on a Bluetooth keyboard on a tablet, a few inches away from a desktop computer and a high-definition portable radio, in a climate-controlled office 11 stories above ground. What more could I possibly want? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/6 "2015-05-21T16:42:09Z")
Reading this thread right after [this other one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=757391), I see that I can blame you for the problems the Japanese porn industry is having. > [@Japanese Porn Industry Comes Up Short in the Male Department](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/japanese-porn-industry-comes-up-short-in-the-male-department/720469/5): > > \*\*"Many industry insiders blame the conundrum on a growing social trend known as herbivore men: Those who shun sex and traditional masculine values in favour of a quiet, uncompetitive lifestyle. ‘Mentally, men have become weaker,’ said actress Yuko Shiraki. ‘They’re less macho, less proactive about sex.’ > > “Celebrated director Tohjiro agrees Japanese men are going soft. ‘I’ve been in this business for 27 years and you can see the increase in herbivore males,’ he said. ‘Men aren’t hungry anymore. They’ve lost their desire. Everything’s on a plate for them. It wasn’t like that for my generation. If we got a banana or a pineapple, we went crazy with joy. These days, men don’t get excited by anything. The same applies to sex and attitude towards women and relationships. They just click on the internet for it’.”\*\* ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/7 "2015-05-21T17:09:45Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > At the risk of sounding like a dick, I’m gonna wager that the reason you don’t think you have many needs is because you have everything you need. You have a job, you have a house, you have a wife, and a child. Exactly. Those aren’t simple needs. What is it that you think most people need that you don’t? A lot of that inner turmoil, those monologues and self-judgments, those complex views of the world, have to do with people trying to obtain simple things like a fulfilling job that can support them; acceptable, non-stressful housing; a loving life partner, and children. I personally would like to have just one of those four things, and a lot of the struggle in my life is trying to figure out how I can obtain one. I feel like I have very simple needs, but they are not being fulfilled, and that makes my life detailed and complicated and noisy. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/8 "2015-05-21T17:12:42Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > At the risk of sounding like a dick, I’m gonna wager that the reason you don’t think you have many needs is because you have everything you need. You have a job, you have a house, you have a wife, and a child. You may in fact be a simple man, I don’t know. But I’m guessing your circumstances aren’t as humble as they coud be. > > I have never met a person who admits they thrive on drama or that they are high-maintenance. Most people think they are child-like innocents with simple pleasures. This includes myself. But alas, here I am, typing on a Bluetooth keyboard on a tablet, a few inches away from a desktop computer and a high-definition portable radio, in a climate-controlled office 11 stories above ground. What more could I possibly want? This. I have a feeling that if you were to dump 50mill cash on someone’s lap that claims to have humble needs, I’d imagine it wouldn’t be long before their needs weren’t so humble anymore. Of course you’re happy to live in a tiny one bedroom apartment. You’re stuck there. You have only two choices in this situation: Be happy or be sad. Smart people choose to be happy with what they got. But smart people shouldn’t delude themselves into thinking they’d go right on living the life they are now should they find themselves swimming in a mountain of cash. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/9 "2015-05-21T17:13:47Z")
Not me. In my head it’s business with lead pipe cruelty, fast cars, hookers and blow. Vegas, baby! 24/7! I’m complicated. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/10 "2015-05-21T17:18:42Z")
> [@SpoilerVirgin](#): > > Exactly. Those aren’t simple needs. What is it that you think most people need that you don’t? A lot of that inner turmoil, those monologues and self-judgments, those complex views of the world, have to do with people trying to obtain simple things like a fulfilling job that can support them; acceptable, non-stressful housing; a loving life partner, and children. I personally would like to have just one of those four things, and a lot of the struggle in my life is trying to figure out how I can obtain one. I feel like I have very simple needs, but they are not being fulfilled, and that makes my life detailed and complicated and noisy. Recently, a friend of mine was telling me about her personal philosophy about happiness. “It all boils down to friends and family,” she told me. She’s from an upper middle-class background. She’s got a good job and she’s married to a doctor. They take multiiple exotic vacations every year. OF COURSE, it boils down to friends and family for her. All the other bases are covered. Unfortunately, since that time her health has taken a nosedive and she’s been suffering a lot. I’m guessing her philosophy has shifted somewhat since that conversation. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/11 "2015-05-21T17:34:23Z")
It all means nothing if you don’t have your health. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/12 "2015-05-21T21:11:52Z")
> [@grude](#): > > As long as I have access to books, movies, educational material, raise and teach my son and spend time with my wife, get to experiment or cook and build and learn I’d be happy as a clam. [Don’t forget the ashtray . . . or the paddle game](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2X3vVMdh-s) > [@QuickSilver](#): > > It all means nothing if you don’t have your health. 😉 Of course! If you haven’t got that, you haven’t got anything! ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/13 "2015-05-21T22:09:40Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > At the risk of sounding like a dick, I’m gonna wager that the reason you don’t think you have many needs is because you have everything you need. You have a job, you have a house, you have a wife, and a child. You may in fact be a simple man, I don’t know. But I’m guessing your circumstances aren’t as humble as they coud be. > > I have never met a person who admits they thrive on drama or that they are high-maintenance. Most people think they are child-like innocents with simple pleasures. This includes myself. But alas, here I am, typing on a Bluetooth keyboard on a tablet, a few inches away from a desktop computer and a high-definition portable radio, in a climate-controlled office 11 stories above ground. What more could I possibly want? There are plenty of people who don’t have all they need. For some of them the things that they don’t have are simple needs - enough food, good housing, a family, a job. But there are plenty of people with money and whose simple needs are met who think they need a lot more. A hot car. All the cable channels in the world. The latest phone. Fancy vacations to resorts. There are people with $X who save and are satisfied, and there are people with $5X who are broken and hungry for more. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/14 "2015-05-21T22:32:01Z")
My needs are simpler and my ambitions are lower than anyone else I know. And it’s not just me saying this. Ask my friends, they’ll back me up. However, somewhat paradoxically, my success rate at achieving my ambitions and fulfilling my needs is also far worse than anyone I know. I don’t know what the connection is there. I’m extremely low maintenance. But I’m also extremely stupid and lazy. Is it a case of “despite of”, or “because of”? Ideally, I would probably be a plant. Little work, little reward. Just stand there and photosynthesize. ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2015, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/15 "2015-05-21T23:58:02Z")
It _does_ boil down to friends and family. I’m very close to my siblings, even though we live all over the lower 48. And we all have the money to travel and get together several times a year. It’s enriched all our lives. Money may not buy happiness, but I know my life would be poorer without the opportunities it brings. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2015, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/16 "2015-05-22T00:01:31Z")
When my daughter asked why I never get lottery tickets, I told her: “I can’t think of anything else I want to buy.” I don’t know if my needs are simple, but I do have a reasonable point called “enough”. (And yes, all the basics; health, roof, food are covered, so it’s easier for me than some) ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2015, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-my-needs-are-simple-compared-to-most-people/720476/17 "2015-05-23T01:34:50Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > When my daughter asked why I never get lottery tickets, I told her: “I can’t think of anything else I want to buy.” You could buy … more lottery tickets!