# I feel like such a grouch, but I wish the spring birdies would shut up already **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011 "2010-04-22T17:47:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/1 "2010-04-22T17:47:12Z")
It’s finally spring; the flowers are blooming, and the sound of birds is in the air! …and I wish it would stop! Well, not all of it, but there is this one bird call that is just such a broken record and it’s LOUD and he won’t SHUT UP FOR EVEN A SECOND! Does it make me a horrible person that I’m not enjoying the spring birdies? ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/2 "2010-04-22T18:17:03Z")
Get a kitten, and let it out in your backyard. It will probably inspire the bird to move elsewhere, and just having a kitten around will greatly moderate your grouchiness! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/3 "2010-04-22T18:18:09Z")
Kittens wouldn’t help me; I don’t like them much. Well, everyone loves a kitten, so I take that back. I just don’t like _cats_. I love birds and even I get irritated with That One Bird. He insists on sitting right outside the window, it seems! ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/4 "2010-04-22T18:30:53Z")
I have 3 cats, so no more kittens. Plus, I keep them indoors. Also, I don’t want the birdies to die, just to maybe lay off the constant noise :X Anaamika: Glad to know that I’m not the only one getting irritated with That One Bird. Overall I like nature sounds, and the background twittering of the birds is nice… but that loud-ass one with the two-note repetitive song is really, really hard to ignore ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/5 "2010-04-22T18:40:14Z")
Might I suggest either [earplugs](http://www.bhphotovideo.com/c/product/628094-REG/Etymotic_Research_ER20BPSM_ER_20_ETY_Ready_Fit_Earplugs.html) or [a bird gun](http://www.billhanusbirdguns.com/best.html)? heh heh heh Seriously, though, I understand how you feel. I am awakened at dawn every morning by an annoying bird that insists on its loud and monotonous ‘song’ even when it isn’t nice outside. And I am owned by two cats who apparently think the bird is funny because they haven’t killed the dang thing yet! ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/6 "2010-04-22T18:41:41Z")
Especially the geese. You’d think a bird so tasty would learn not to make so much noise first thing in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/7 "2010-04-22T18:42:27Z")
I remember in 2001 when I visited England. We stayed at a seaside bed and breakfast and went to bed with the windows open, listening to the sound of the gulls over the breaking surf. I jotted down a line or two in my journal about how peaceful the sound was and how nice it would be to fall asleep to it. Cut to about 4am and another jotting in my journal… something along the lines of “the fucking birds won’t fucking shut up! Can’t sleep! AAAARRG!!!” ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/8 "2010-04-22T18:43:05Z")
My one bird was a morning dove. I grew up in Worcester so I was used to sirens, traffic, fights, gunshots (yes, I grew up in a bad part of town, why do you ask?). When I was 21, I moved to Chicopee. Suddenly, I could hear birds. Lots of birds. I was working nights though (5pm to 5am) and when I was trying to go to sleep was when Mr. Morning Dove was just starting to get going. It’s a damn good thing we didn’t own a gun because I would have shot that damn bird. I’m in an even smaller town now and we have huge amounts of birds but none of them sound THAT annoying. I love the birdies we have now. Earlier today, I had a bluejay and a cardinal at my feeder at the same time. Such pretty colors. There was another bird too. He was black, Actually, he was kind of prismatic. I have no idea what he was. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/9 "2010-04-22T18:55:12Z")
When I lived out in the country a grackle decided to make a home in my wall air conditioner unit. At FOUR IN THE MORNING the damn thing would start cawing, tweeting, banging around. Then her eggs hatched. Oy. Never needed an alarm clock. Oddly enough, I was sad when we displaced her home. Now that I’m working from home most of the time, I really enjoy being able to open the windows and get the fresh air blowing around. However, it seems there is a ‘chat time’ for some damn bird group. Twee-twee! Twee-twee! There’s usually three or four of them that go continuously for at least an hour in the late morning. Once I hear them I can’t _not_ hear them. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/10 "2010-04-22T19:16:11Z")
That One Bird outside our house has this two=note thing: Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Tee-WHOO Until I am ready to go out there with a BB gun. It is very high-pitched and piercing. And I am honestly not sure if it’s more annoying when he does it in a pattern or when he breaks the pattern. ETA: I think it might be a catbird. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/11 "2010-04-22T19:18:44Z")
I know that bird! I call it the Tee-WHOO bird. Catchy name, eh? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/12 "2010-04-22T19:21:36Z")
Ahhhh maybe he read this thread because he seems to have stopped for now. Hooray! I should be glad it’s just birds, though, and not cicadas. Nothing more annoying than cicadas. ---
**Author:** ![HelloKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecccb3/32.png) [@HelloKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelloKitty)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/13 "2010-04-22T19:22:04Z")
Earplugs have worked wonders for me! Not only do they screen out the hubby’s snoring, they make me blissfully unaware of the birdies that start chirping at 3:30AM ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/14 "2010-04-22T19:23:22Z")
Earplugs end up hurting my ears if I wear them very long. I have extremely sensitive ear cartilage–sometimes I wake up in agony just from the weight of my head on my ear. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/15 "2010-04-22T23:14:38Z")
I notice the OP is in the Boston suburbs. You might be getting some city birds out there. I’ve read research reports in New Scientist and elsewhere verifying what many of us city dwellers already knew: Not only are city birds louder than country birds of the same species, they get up much earlier. (The robins in my neighborhood are up and caroling well before daybreak, 3 AM or even earlier.) Why? Traffic noise. The birdies jack up the decibels to be heard over traffic noise, and get up early to avoid competing with traffic noise. As for being a grouch: Hey, birdies aren’t singing to be adorable. They don’t give a wet white turd if you find them delightful or not. Bio-behaviorally speaking, there are only two basic bird songs: “This is mine, stay away! This is mine, stay away!” and “I’m horny and single, come and get some! I’m horny and single, come and get some!” There’s no objective reason to find birdies any cuter or sweeter than caterwauling cats or barking dogs. If you really can’t sleep with earplugs, get a white-noise machine. Once it gets warmer, turn a fan on. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/16 "2010-04-23T00:29:36Z")
I love parrots. LOVE them, but gah! Lorrikeets outside my window, in the bottle brush tree, squabbling. Cockatoos SCREAMING at dawn and dusk. SHUT UP BIRDS! GAH! ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/17 "2010-04-23T01:06:24Z")
The bird is going on and on and on because he’s horny and wants some tail. I’d suggest getting him a girlfriend, but some species also carry on while mating: “I"m getting some! I’m getting some!” And what **Gleena** said about parrots? Word. I have three of them in the house, it’s spring, and they all want to get laid. Unfortunately for them, no females of their species is available in this household, nor will be. I bought ear plugs. ---
**Author:** ![pabstist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e99b99/32.png) [@pabstist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pabstist)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/18 "2010-04-23T01:58:51Z")
For the past two weeks we’ve had a woodpecker somewhere close to our house. I’ve learned to live to live with the other winged assholes tweeting BEFORE the sun comes up; but the constant KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK over and over all morning is making me stabby. Especially since this week my wife and I have the week off and want to sleep late. Woodpeckers are way louder and more annoying than any songbird. I swear if I find that thing I’m gonna make shitpecker stew. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/19 "2010-04-23T02:13:56Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > … There was another bird too. He was black, Actually, he was kind of prismatic. I have no idea what he was. > [@MissTake](#): > > … a [grackle](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_Grackle) … CMC fnord! ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011/20 "2010-04-23T02:25:01Z")
That looks like him! Thanks. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-feel-like-such-a-grouch-but-i-wish-the-spring-birdies-would-shut-up-already/537011.md?page=2)