# I finally bought a pipe, now what? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 14, 2004, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-bought-a-pipe-now-what/259789 "2004-08-14T02:41:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![PaulFitzroy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@PaulFitzroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulFitzroy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-bought-a-pipe-now-what/259789/1 "2004-08-14T02:41:41Z")
Alright, as you may know, I’ve been wondering about pipes, and I finally bought one today and a bag of tobacco. Please don’t laugh, all you master-pipe-smokers, just help me. Here’s the situation: I tried to draw air from the end of the pipe, but it was blocked off. I unscrewed the black plastic piece from the wooden pipe part, and there’s a metal screw thing that stops the flow of air. How do I remove it? What do I do? HELP!! ---
**Author:** ![PaulFitzroy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@PaulFitzroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulFitzroy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-bought-a-pipe-now-what/259789/2 "2004-08-14T02:46:04Z")
Problem solved. Thanks anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-bought-a-pipe-now-what/259789/3 "2004-08-14T03:11:30Z")
Sure, no problem. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-bought-a-pipe-now-what/259789/4 "2004-08-14T03:35:29Z")
> [@PaulFitzroy](#): > > Problem solved. Thanks anyway. Don’t leave us hanging! Did you use a screwdriver? Visegrips? A pea-sized blob of C4? What’s the trick? I may buy a pipe one of these days, and I’d hate to have to start a new thread. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RevCo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@RevCo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RevCo)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-bought-a-pipe-now-what/259789/5 "2004-08-14T03:44:33Z")
> [@Squink](#): > > Don’t leave us hanging! Did you use a screwdriver? Visegrips? A pea-sized blob of C4? What’s the trick? I may buy a pipe one of these days, and I’d hate to have to start a new thread. > 🙂 He figured out where you put the filter… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-bought-a-pipe-now-what/259789/6 "2004-08-14T03:52:52Z")
> [@PatrickMcGinley](#): > > He figured out where you put the filter… Whoosh? Please? I missed a joke, right? Otherwise what’s the world coming to when you put a filter on a pipe? I don’t even smoke, but when I do I like a pipe with some nice rich tobacco. Why’d ya wanna put a filter on that? What would be the point? Why not just throw some green fir branches on a fire and stick your head in for all the joy you’d get? bleah! …filter on a pipe… :mad: ---
**Author:** ![PaulFitzroy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@PaulFitzroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulFitzroy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2004, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-bought-a-pipe-now-what/259789/7 "2004-08-14T04:01:57Z")
No, I just pulled the screw thing out. I didn’t want to at first for fear of screwing up (ha!) the pipe somehow. As far as I can tell there’s no filter nor a need for one on this pipe. It’s small, and pretty cheap. ---
**Author:** ![RevCo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@RevCo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RevCo)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-bought-a-pipe-now-what/259789/8 "2004-08-15T03:29:28Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Whoosh? Please? I missed a joke, right? Otherwise what’s the world coming to when you put a filter on a pipe? I don’t even smoke, but when I do I like a pipe with some nice rich tobacco. Why’d ya wanna put a filter on that? What would be the point? Why not just throw some green fir branches on a fire and stick your head in for all the joy you’d get? Well, my father smoked a pipe for 40 years, so I know a little. He smoked your standard cobb pipe with plastic stem they sold at the drug stores of yesteryear where they sell “Shaved” nowadays. I’m not that old, either. The plastic stem would be removed, and a small paper filter could be insterted to catch tar and whatnot. The filters weren’t always used by him, nor required for use, but most pipes had a place for them - the el cheapo kind he bought always did. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-bought-a-pipe-now-what/259789/9 "2004-08-15T16:52:39Z")
Next time you have a pipe question, just ask the Supreme Authority on Pipes (and everything else in and beyond the Universe), J.R. “Bob” Dobbs! '[http://www.subgenius.com](http://www.subgenius.com) Praise “Bob”! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2004, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-bought-a-pipe-now-what/259789/10 "2004-08-15T16:54:45Z")
Sorry, that’s [http://www.subgenius.com](http://www.subgenius.com)