# I finally qualified for a free nasal swab test **URL:** \ **Category:** The Quarantine Zone\ **Tags:** covid-quarantine\ **Created:** [June 4, 2020, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-qualified-for-a-free-nasal-swab-test/855080 "2020-06-04T23:10:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2020, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-qualified-for-a-free-nasal-swab-test/855080/1 "2020-06-04T23:10:23Z")
And here’s my advice: If you do this, have someone else drive you. I went to the local collection site this afternoon, and was shocked at how incredibly painful it was. No way was I going to allow them to do the second swab, in the other nostril, and I also had some pretty severe vertigo when that swab contacted the not-quite-back of my nasopharynx. They couldn’t use it for testing, and one nurse suggested that I contact my PCP about a blood test, since like I’ve said before and will say again, I believe that I had it before it was identified. I pulled my car up and to the side, folded the driver’s seat back, and put the a/c on high for about 15 minutes until I felt that I was ready to drive once again. Not only does my nose feel weird, and is still runny, but the molars on the left side do too. I do know that the roots extend up into my sinus cavity. I’m still glad I at least tried it. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2020, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-qualified-for-a-free-nasal-swab-test/855080/2 "2020-06-04T23:37:19Z")
Mrs. Cretin was in the ER last week. Possible heart attack that eventually proved to be something far less serious, thank you. But as long as she was there, even though none of her symptoms suggested COVID they tested anyway. And she told me it was incredibly painful as if they were swabbing the inside of the back of her skull. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2020, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-qualified-for-a-free-nasal-swab-test/855080/3 "2020-06-04T23:50:07Z")
It is horrible. I swear it’s been several weeks and I still get a twinge up there, occasionally. ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-qualified-for-a-free-nasal-swab-test/855080/4 "2020-06-04T23:57:37Z")
Had a nasal swab test last, prior to cataract surgery. Someone described it like tickling your brain. The nurse said it would take five seconds. Those were a LONG five seconds. The good news was the test result came back as “not detected”. The bad news is I get to do it again in a month when I go in to do my other eye. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2020, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-qualified-for-a-free-nasal-swab-test/855080/5 "2020-06-05T00:13:49Z")
I thought that there were less invasive tests now. That sounds horrible. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2020, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-qualified-for-a-free-nasal-swab-test/855080/6 "2020-06-05T00:33:44Z")
I’m scheduled for an endoscopy on Tuesday, and part of the prep is that Monday morning I have to go to the clinic for a covid-19 test. I was not given any warning about what might be involved. Fortunately, since I don’t drive a friend will be taking me in for the test. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2020, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-qualified-for-a-free-nasal-swab-test/855080/7 "2020-06-05T00:36:10Z")
The pain wore off quickly for me (and had no trouble driving afterwards), but I was sniveling during it. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2020, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-qualified-for-a-free-nasal-swab-test/855080/8 "2020-06-05T01:41:44Z")
I had it done last week. It was uncomfortable while it happened, i was cringing from 6 on the 10 count. But no discomfort once it was over. My wife had it the previous day and didn’t tell me how bad it was for her because she didnt want to upset me, but I was fine with it. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2020, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-qualified-for-a-free-nasal-swab-test/855080/9 "2020-06-05T02:04:36Z")
That vertigo was the worst part, and totally unexpected. I now feel bad that I may have stolen a test from someone who really needed it. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2020, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-qualified-for-a-free-nasal-swab-test/855080/10 "2020-06-05T04:46:06Z")
I told the internist doing the swabbing that he obviously was a reincarnation of a priest of Anubis, and asked if he still had his [brain hooks](https://www.twinkl.com/illustration/hook-going-into-the-brain) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2020, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-qualified-for-a-free-nasal-swab-test/855080/11 "2020-06-05T04:48:09Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > I told the internist doing the swabbing that he obviously was a reincarnation of a priest of Anubis, and asked if he still had his [brain hooks](https://www.twinkl.com/illustration/hook-going-into-the-brain) 😉 Did he get the joke? ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2020, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-qualified-for-a-free-nasal-swab-test/855080/12 "2020-06-05T10:02:57Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Did he get the joke? yup, but the Dugie Howser looking guy working with him didn’t. Maybe they should hire people over 12 years old … I am getting too old for this crap, all the people in the outpatient lab look like they should be in high school. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2020, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-qualified-for-a-free-nasal-swab-test/855080/13 "2020-06-05T23:41:32Z")
I got my confidential results code, so they must have decided to go ahead and process it anyway. I’m fully recovered now. Hoo boy, I could handle the pain, but not that vertigo. That totally threw me for a loop.