# I finally saw "The Mummy Returns" and wish I hadn't **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 2, 2001, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487 "2001-12-02T19:58:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2001, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/1 "2001-12-02T19:58:07Z")
[sub](I did a search, but didn’t come across any substantial discussion.)[/sub] Last night, I finally get around to seeing _The Mummy Returns_ on DVD. Now, the first movie (_The Mummy_) wasn’t anything to write home about, but it didn’t stink up the place too badly. The eponymous title villain was suitably scary, and there seemed to be a plot. In any event, the critic’s consensus was that the sequel was better than the first movie, so I decided it was worth the rental. What a mistake. This was by far the worst movie I’ve seen all year. The plot was completely incoherent. It was never clear where the action was taking place. The scary villain from the first flick has been reduced to comic relief. And the Scorpion King? A Halloween mask of “The Rock” would look more realistic. Of course, this villain was only on the screen for about five minutes, so it didn’t matter much anyway. I was also struck by the fact that the characters were so uninvolved with what was going around them. (_Ho hum, we’re going to die. Or not. Whatever._) I guess the movie is supposed to be an action/adventure flick, but how is the audience supposed to get caught up in the action if the characters don’t even seem to care? Worst of all, though, was just how _stupid_ everything got. A homemade hot air balloon? (It looked like it was ripped off from _Baron Munchausen_.) Double-decker buses? _Berzerker pygmy skeletons?!_ You just know a movie’s gone downhill when you get a headache from excessive eye-rolling. So what was with all the hype, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Bedrosian\_Bixby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecae2f/32.png) [@Bedrosian\_Bixby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bedrosian_Bixby)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2001, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/2 "2001-12-02T20:08:37Z")
The Bereker Pygmy Skeletons were kinda cool. ---
**Author:** ![Bedrosian\_Bixby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecae2f/32.png) [@Bedrosian\_Bixby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bedrosian_Bixby)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/3 "2001-12-02T20:10:01Z")
errr…Bezerker ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2001, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/4 "2001-12-02T21:45:24Z")
My only expectation when I saw that movie was that it would have Oded in it and I wasn’t disappointed. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2001, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/5 "2001-12-02T22:18:00Z")
I saw it in the theater and wasn’t disappointed. I hadn’t seen the first movie, so that wasn’t a problem. It was summer, I was living alone, it was my day off from work, I had some money, and I was in the mood for a big, dumb, Hollywood movie with a lot of special effects and explosions, and that’s what I got. BTW, I absolutely refused to see “Pearl Harbor,” even though it was the only film that opened that weekend. I stayed home that weekend, grinding my teeth that there was absolutely nothing else I wanted to see. I have _some_ standards, you know. I agree about the hot-air balloon sequence and the rest of the island-sized plot holes. It was a stoooopid movie, but I never expected it to be anything but that. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Bad\_Astronomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@The\_Bad\_Astronomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bad_Astronomer)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/6 "2001-12-02T23:26:54Z")
[A self-serving link](http://www.badastronomy.com/bad/movies/mummyreturns.html). ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2001, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/7 "2001-12-02T23:52:39Z")
I enjoyed this movie, actually, for one very specific reason. It made me feel like an eight-year-old kid in a theater on a Saturday afternoon matinee eating popcorn and cheering for the good guys, throwing popcorn at the bad guys, and leaving the movie without any thought expended. It had the feeling of a 1930s serial adventure - a bit ludicrous at times, unabashedly anachronistic at others, but enjoyable if you just sit back and go with it. For some reason, other ‘mindless’ movies don’t appeal to me - I can’t think of a single other movie offhand that I enjoyed just on its own merits, rather than attempting to look for astronomical consistency, ‘realistic’ supernatural effects, and so on. When I watch it, rather than nitpick when I would normally roll my eyes, I just laugh at myself and say “Just go with it! Just go with it!” I wish I knew why I’m not able to “just go with” any other bad movie. (Or maybe I should say “any other movie with limited ambitions”.) ---
**Author:** ![Niobium\_Knight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bc8723/32.png) [@Niobium\_Knight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Niobium_Knight)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/8 "2001-12-03T00:09:47Z")
i saw it and was very disappointed too. couldnt wait for it to finish. ---
**Author:** ![pure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@pure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pure)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/9 "2001-12-03T03:48:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by robby \* > > Worst of all, though, was just how _stupid_ everything got. A homemade hot air balloon? (It looked like it was ripped off from _Baron Munchausen_.) Double-decker buses? _Berzerker pygmy skeletons?!_ The hot-air balloon reminded me of Teddy Ruxpin’s airship. Ahhh, my young days [single tear rolls down my cheek] ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/10 "2001-12-03T04:17:40Z")
I hated both **The Mummy** and \*\* The Mummy Returns\*\*. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/11 "2001-12-03T15:25:34Z")
Man, I rented it last night because I liked the first one so much. I got exactly 53 minutes into this movie and gave up outta pure boredom. Believe me, I have a high, high tolerance for crappy movies, but for some reason this was not only bad largely for the reasons already mentioned, but somehow, even with all of that running, slashing, noise and shooting, just plain _boring_. I’ve had more fun making toast. ---
**Author:** ![lolagranola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/12 "2001-12-03T16:43:54Z")
I don’t know. I enjoyed it. I was expecting a mindless Hollywood adventure with lots of special effects and that’s what I got. The meaning of life wasn’t in the movie. It wasn’t a masterpiece. But it was fun. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/13 "2001-12-03T17:51:24Z")
Wish I could contribute to this, but I haven’t seen the movie yet. I would, but all the video stores in my area have seen fit to stock only the full-frame version of the DVD for rental. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna pay for anything other than widescreen. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/14 "2001-12-03T18:19:52Z")
My taste in movies tends to be somewhat lowbrow. I liked **The Mummy** , so I went to see **The Mummy Returns** in the theatre. The biggest problem I saw with the movie is that I had seen it all before, in **The Mummy**. It seemed less like a sequal and more like a remake! ---
**Author:** ![CheapBastid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CheapBastid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheapBastid)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/15 "2001-12-03T18:30:11Z")
… the wife now wishes I han’t rented the DVD and watched one of the extras. Crushing blow really, she sobbed. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-saw-the-mummy-returns-and-wish-i-hadnt/96487/16 "2001-12-03T18:32:38Z")
I walked out of **The Mummy Returns** thinking “Man, that just wasn’t as believable as the first one.” I really did enjoy **The Mummy** but I just couldn’t get into the sequel. Marc