# I finally told my oldest daughter I'm an atheist. Now she's upset and crying. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2011, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-told-my-oldest-daughter-im-an-atheist-now-shes-upset-and-crying/583254 "2011-05-26T03:59:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-told-my-oldest-daughter-im-an-atheist-now-shes-upset-and-crying/583254/221 "2011-06-01T20:37:27Z")
> [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > Did you post just to disagree? I didn’t spin anything–I commented in regards to the person who suggested it was affecting how he posts here. Yes, because I disagreed. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-told-my-oldest-daughter-im-an-atheist-now-shes-upset-and-crying/583254/222 "2011-06-01T20:49:12Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Yes, because I disagreed. …with a premise you invented. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2011, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-told-my-oldest-daughter-im-an-atheist-now-shes-upset-and-crying/583254/223 "2011-06-08T17:08:19Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > He said Buddhism required no supernatural beliefs. > > Here, see? > > ANd I didn’t say he wasn’t a Buddhist. In fact, I know so little about Zen Buddhism that I asked if Zen has a goal of _buddhatta_. If he had said it didn’t, or if he had said that his practice of Zen doesn’t, then you’d have a point. > > Here’s what I said about Buddhism requiring belief in the supernatural. > > Now, please explain to me: > > 1. How is that not supernatural? > 2. How you figure we’re talking about what Diogenes takes from it, as opposed to what the practice actually is? Sorry if this is coming too late, but… First of all, you’re conflating Theravada Buddhism with Mahayana Buddhism, which are two radically different schools of thought. Second, you’re conflating Mahayana Buddhism with Zen Buddhism, when in fact Zen is a sect of Buddhism radically different from most forms of Mahayana. Third, there are thousands and thousands of canonical texts in Buddhist literature, which are variously accepted and rejected by different sects because not all Buddhists believe the same thing. While supernatural beliefs are common in Buddhists, they are not a requirement to call yourself a Buddhist. Most supernatural belief systems within Buddhism are influenced from local cultural beliefs - it’s an incredibly diverse religion. While people obviously have different perspectives on this, most practitioners suggest that pretty much the only thing necessary for Buddhism is a belief in the 4 Noble Truths, which sound fancy but could easily be summed up thus: ‘‘We all suffer. We suffer because we are attached to pleasure and resistant to pain. The way to end suffering is to understand this and learn to embrace pleasure and pain without clinging or resistance. Meditation is a really effective means of achieving this.’’ Yeah, really woo-woo stuff there. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-told-my-oldest-daughter-im-an-atheist-now-shes-upset-and-crying/583254/224 "2011-06-08T20:01:21Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Please take the Buddhism discussion to another thread. I’m sorry, **Marley**. Let that be a lesson to me for skipping pages in a thread. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2011, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-told-my-oldest-daughter-im-an-atheist-now-shes-upset-and-crying/583254/225 "2011-06-09T16:15:19Z")
Dio, as I recall, you made some excellent comments in an older thread: > **[Does God Love People Who Go To Hell?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=550839)** > > Does God love the people whom He ends up sending to Hell? Did you try using some version of these comments, esp. the ones about hell, with your daughter? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2011, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-told-my-oldest-daughter-im-an-atheist-now-shes-upset-and-crying/583254/226 "2011-06-09T16:39:21Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > Dio, as I recall, you made some excellent comments in an older thread: > [Does God Love People Who Go To Hell? - Great Debates - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=550839) > > Did you try using some version of these comments, esp. the ones about hell, with your daughter? It hadn’t occurred to me to go through that with her. Maybe I should. Not a bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2011, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-told-my-oldest-daughter-im-an-atheist-now-shes-upset-and-crying/583254/227 "2011-06-09T17:22:21Z")
I don’t know how I missed this thread. I’ve only read three pages of it, but it seems to be a splendid example of what happens when atheism is not given equal respect with other belief or lack of belief systems. I doubt if Dio had been an Episcopalian he would have been asked to hide it. I trained my kids in logical thinking, and had no trouble sending them with friends to various church events. But I would have resisted any attempt at forcing them into a religion, though I had it a bit easier since I could play the Jewish card as a good reason to avoid baptism - not that anyone tried to pressure us into doing it. Perhaps it is time to give your daughter a parallel education. Catholics don’t believe in inerrancy, so pointing out logical contradictions and that the Flood didn’t happen shouldn’t cause too many problems. Do Catholic schools teach the Flood and evolution in parallel? Little kids, and even adults, are skilled at holding contradictory ideas in their heads and considering both true. After that, you should answer questions with “I believe” instead of “the church believes.” Make it clear that your daughter gets to make up her mind, and that you love her no matter what she decides, and hope that your wife and her family will make the same commitment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-finally-told-my-oldest-daughter-im-an-atheist-now-shes-upset-and-crying/583254.md?page=11)